Every line from The Office season 6, episode 20, in script order. First aired April 22, 2010.
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Cookie Monster
Oscar, Toby said he left my Girl Scout cookies on my chair. Have you seen them? Wait I'm sitting on them.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36940
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Andy
This is awesome!
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36941
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Oscar
Thank you. It didn't even take that long.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36942
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Cookie Monster
What's the difference between a chimichanga, a chalupa, and a tostada? Call me back ASAP. It's urgent.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36943
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Kevin
This isn't funny. I don't talk like that.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36944
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Phyllis
Say 'Me eat cookie.'
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36945
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Kevin
No. I won't say it.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36946
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Dwight
Why is everyone clumped around accounting? Break it up, you clique.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36947
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Ryan
It's Kevin as Cookie monster from Sesame Street.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36948
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Dwight
Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36949
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Phyllis
Mm-hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36950
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Dwight
I love that show.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36951
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Cookie Monster
This is Kevin. This is Kevin.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36952
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Ryan
Good work, buddy.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36953
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Oscar
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36954
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Dwight
That is an amusing link. I'd like it sent to me, please.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36955
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Oscar
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36956
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Kelly
Me, too Oscar.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36957
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Ryan
C.C. me
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36958
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Kevin
Angela, this is inappropriate.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36959
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Angela
This is my favorite day.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36960
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Andy
It's Secretary's Day. And it is Erin's and my three-week anniversary. So perfect storm for a romantic gesture.. Want to make sure the whole office remembers it's Secretary's Day. I sent an e-mail blast, a text blast, a good, old-fashioned talk blast. I sent a snail mail blast a week ago. And a Stern reminder via fax at 7:00 this morning, so people better step up and appreciate the crap out of Erin.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36961
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Meredith
Here you go.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36962
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Erin
Oh, thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36963
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Andy
I do.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36964
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Dwight
[hands Erin a basket of beets]
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36965
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Erin
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36966
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Andy
If it wasn't for secretaries, I wouldn't have a stepmom.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36967
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Erin
Welcome back!
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36968
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Pam
Hey, thanks.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36969
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Pam
It's my first day back after maternity leave. And I miss Cece, of course. But we need the money. What was maternity leave like? Oh, how do I explain it?... It rocked. It rocked my ass off.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36970
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Pam
Oh. You couldn't have watered it?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36971
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Jim
I literally did not know that existed until this moment.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36972
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Dwight
Well, I knew it existed, and I chose to let it die.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36973
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Pam
It's nice to see you again, Dwight.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36974
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Dwight
Hello, Pam.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36975
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Andy
I was just wondering what you had planned for Secretary's Day.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36976
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Michael
I'm going to give Erin $15.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36977
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Erin
I know that Erin would be so psyched if you took her out to lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36978
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Michael
A one-on-one lunch with Erin?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36979
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Andy
Yeah. She really looks up to you. And there's only so much we can do as her coworkers. Secretary's Day is really kind of a boss-secretary thing..
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36980
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Michael
She's kind of a rube.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36981
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Andy
That's my girlfriend you're talking about.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36982
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Michael
Okay. All right. All right. Okay. I'll take her to lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36983
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Andy
She's gonna be so psyched.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36984
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Michael
Hi, Erin. Happy Secretary's Day.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36985
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Erin
Well, happy Boss's day. There wouldn't be a secretary if there was no boss.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36986
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Michael
I wanted to know what your plans for lunch were because I was hoping to ask you to...lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36987
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Erin
I got a picture of you asking me to lunch. I was thinking we could go to Hayworth's.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36988
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Michael
Ugh.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36989
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Erin
Just the two of us.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36990
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Michael
Well, Hayworth's is more business casual, and they always screw up your order. So I'm...
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36991
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Erin
Yeah, okay. Yeah that was a stupid suggestion. I was thinking someplace special, so I though Hayworth's, but...
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36992
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Michael
Okay, well, we'll figure something.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36993
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Erin
Oh.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36994
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Michael
Okay, let's go to Hayworth's.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36995
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Erin
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36996
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Michael
All right.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36997
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Meredith
Have a cookie, Kev.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36998
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Kevin
Yeah, haha. Tray of cookies. I'm not falling for that.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 36999
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Darryl
I brought those in. It's my birthday. That's some stone-cold narcissism right there.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37000
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Kevin
Man, Darryl, I'm sorry. Happy Birthday.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37001
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Darryl
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37002
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Darryl
Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37003
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Kevin
They're making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they're making fun of me.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37004
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Kevin
Oscar, did you eat some of my M&M's? The level...
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37005
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Gabe
This is violent and offensive.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37006
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Kevin
Thank you. It really makes me self-conscious about my voice.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37007
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Gabe
It's awful.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37008
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Kevin
I'm not crying.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37009
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Gabe
You have some food on your face.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37010
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Kevin
Do my hands feel sweaty to you?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37011
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Gabe
The beginning here has been a little bit of a fiasco. Either they don't respect me or they respect me too much. And some of them still think that I'm the I.T. guy. This Cookie Monster thing is an opportunity to show people that I'm an authority figure.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37012
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Gabe
Hello, everyone. If I might have a moment of your time. It's come to my attention that people have been watching and laughing at a hurtful parody video. It is now forbidden to talk, joke about, or e-mail this around.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37013
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37014
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Gabe
And that's straight from corporate. So not to be scary, but yeah, I would listen to me. And that's all. Ciao.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37015
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Michael
Would you mind if I listen to my book on tape? I'm kind of a bookworm. This is the novelization of the movie Precious based on the book Push by Sapphire.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37016
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Erin
I was thinking it would be fun to talk on the way over. So what decade would you have chosen to be a teenager?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37017
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Michael
I don't know.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37018
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Erin
I would have chosen the 1490's.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37019
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Michael
Ahhh.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37020
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Erin
Cause America was discovered.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37021
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Michael
Right.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37022
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Erin
And then my last job was at a Taco Bell express. But then it became a full Taco Bell, and I don't know, I couldn't keep up. My favorite part about being a receptionist is that I get to have my own desk. In my Foster home I never had a desk.. So it's like... I don't mean that I didn't like my foster home. I did like it. I just didn't have a desk there. Did you have a favorite age? Or month?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37023
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Michael
An age or month?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37024
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Erin
Yeah, like a favorite month. Like I like April when I was seven.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37025
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Michael
I've been trying. I've been trying to keep it going. Erin is just weird.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37026
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Erin
How many pillows do you sleep on at night?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37027
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Michael
So how are things going with Andy?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37028
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Erin
He's the best boyfriend in the world. Tell me about him before I met him.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37029
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Michael
Well, let's see. Um... Andy. Plays the banjo.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37030
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Erin
Yeah I love that.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37031
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Michael
Other than the fact that he dated Angela, I don't think he is a snappy dresser.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37032
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Erin
What?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37033
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Michael
I don't think he is the best dresser. Reminds me of Easter.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37034
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Erin
Sorry. About Angela? Did you say he dated Angela?
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37035
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Michael
Mm-hmm. You didn't know that? Oh.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37036
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Hayworth's waiter
Here we go. Hot plate.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37037
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37038
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Hayworth's waiter
And your salad, miss.
Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37039