Every line from The Office season 6, episode 18, in script order. First aired March 18, 2010.
-
Stanley
They aren't salespeople!
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36400
-
Michael
And to King Angela! Because today we are all kings. And queens.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36401
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Phyllis
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36402
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Michael
I'm giving them the leads, Phyllis.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36403
-
Jim
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36404
-
Michael
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36405
-
Jim
So I'm going to go ahead and save you some time, and tell you that no-one's going to go along with this. But you knew that, right?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36406
-
Michael
Mm-hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36407
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Jim
Alright. So why don't you just give me my share of the leads, and I'll start making some calls?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36408
-
Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36409
-
Jim
Hey, alright.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36410
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Michael
Alright.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36411
-
Jim
Ahh, these aren't leads. What are they?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36412
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Michael
Oh, right, those are clues. And within each clue is a lesson. You learn a lesson, and then you find a lead. The leads are scattered all over the industrial park. I am trying to make your kids respect you. Because a father needs to respect his boss, and kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36413
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Jim
I don't think you understand -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36414
-
Michael
I do understand it.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36415
-
Jim
This one's a map.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36416
-
Michael
Or is it?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36417
-
Angela
Oh, how the tables have turned. I see you got my e-mail.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36418
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Phyllis
Are you gonna give me the leads or not?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36419
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Angela
I'll give you the leads. But you know what? It's going to cost you some clerical work
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36420
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Phyllis
What are these for?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36421
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Angela
It doesn't matter. Fill them out. All of them. Then when you're done, you can watch me shred them.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36422
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Kelly
I want to watch the Kardashians! I don't want to watch boring -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36423
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Ryan
It's my -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36424
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Stanley
The Kardashians is a good show.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36425
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Ryan
No it's - how would he even know the Kardashians?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36426
-
Kelly
It's about a family. A real-life family.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36427
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Ryan
No, Stanley, do you -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36428
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Pam
Hey baby, what's up?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36429
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Jim
I am currently reading incoherent riddles on blue index cards to find vital information that Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36430
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Pam
Nothing but vomit and diapers over here.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36431
-
Jim
Oh my god, I couldn't envy you more.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36432
-
Jim
Having a baby is as exhausting as they say it is. Having two babies - that's just unfair.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36433
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Jim
How about this one - 'When arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, a certain manager will go to his moppy place.'
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36434
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Pam
He means his mopey place, it's under that streetlamp that he thinks was in Casablanca.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36435
-
Jim
I love you.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36436
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Michael
Today I turned an office crisis into a teachable moment. A lesser manager would have screwed this day up royally Some yokel sitting behind his desk saying take a lead, learn nothing Some people shouldn't be in this business.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36437
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Andy
Hey. I guess you probably won't give me your leads since I'm a jerk salesman.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36438
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Erin
Yeah. I basically wish you were dead. I hid the leads.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36439
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Andy
Where?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36440
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Erin
Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hotter. Pretty hot. Lower.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36441
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Andy
Are you...
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36442
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Erin
Lower.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36443
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Andy
Are you sure?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36444
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Erin
Lower
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36445
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Dwight
What are you doing, idiot?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36446
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Jim
Michael's stupid scavenger hunt.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36447
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Dwight
Scavenger hunt? Here. I can solve it. Give it. 'The treasure you seek is in the parking lot under the first president.'
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36448
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Jim
Lincoln.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36449
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Dwight
The prankster is getting pranked. Ha ha.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36450
-
Jim
It involves you too.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36451
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Dwight
The leads are in?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36452
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Dwight
Michael? Michael, you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36453
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Michael
Well, bigshot, 'If you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes'.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36454
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Dwight
Kevin! Damnit Kevin, give me those leads. Where are they? C'mon -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36455
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Kevin
You are never going to find them.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36456
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Dwight
Really.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36457
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Kevin
I'm going to enjoy this.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36458
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Dwight
Gimme the leads. Where are my leads?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36459
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Kevin
I'm still enjoying it.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36460
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Dwight
Where are they?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36461
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Kevin
Turn the trash. Turn the trash.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36462
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Dwight
The trash. It's code. Alright, Meredith, take off your dress.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36463
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Meredith
Okey-dokey.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36464
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Kevin
No, dear god, no, it's in the trash can. In the kitchen.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36465
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Meredith
It's coming off anyway.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36466
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Dwight
Clean sack.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36467
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Kevin
What -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36468
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Erin
I emptied it in the dumpster. With Toby's baba ganoush.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36469
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Toby
If we don't patronise the only Syrian restaurant in town, there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and make-your-own salads.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36470
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Dwight
It's empty!
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36471
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Michael
Wait. What day is today?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36472
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Kevin
Um, tonight is Ghost Whisperer. So, Friday.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36473
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Michael
Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god, no, no no, hey, hey wait, wait!
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36474
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Michael
Okay. You know what, let's just go to the dump, start looking - Ryan, c'mon, shotgun in my car -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36475
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Phyllis
Michael, why would we all go to the dump?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36476
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Michael
Why? Because I am not going to call Sabre and say, 'Hi, you know those very valuable expensive leads that you gave us earlier today? Well, because of a screw-up by a staff member, they're now in the city dump.'
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36477
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Stanley
Not your staff, Michael. You.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36478
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Michael
Well, that's not the way it's going t sound. Here's what we're going to do. We'll go to the dump, we'll look around, then we'll all go out and get pizza, maybe catch a movie, late-night drink, some more pizza, call it a night. What do you -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36479
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Toby
Does it have to be pizza? Could go for a, falafel?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36480
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Michael
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36481
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Angela
I'm not going. You did this, not us.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36482
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Michael
Okay, no, you encouraged it. You were complicit Complicit. You were all successories!
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36483
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Darryl
That sounds fun, mucking around in the dump. Wish I could go.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36484
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Michael
You can.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36485
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Darryl
I can't. You know that.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36486
-
Michael
Okay fine, I get it. I'll just go by myself.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36487
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Dwight
I'll go, Michael. You'll just screw it up.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36488
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Dwight
This place has gone to hell.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36489
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Michael
You know, Dwight, there was a time when you'd be pinching yourself to have the opportunity to look through a dump with me.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36490
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Dwight
Yeah, well, the acorn becomes the oak.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36491
-
Michael
Yeah. Sometimes the acorn just stays the acorn. If you don't believe me, look in my gutters.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36492
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Kelly
You're adorable. You need to go for it. I'm going to be, like, mad at you if you don't -
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36493
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Jim
Phew! Can't wait for this day to be over.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36494
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Kelly
Why?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36495
-
Jim
Just all the - drama.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36496
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Kelly
What drama?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36497
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Jim
Between the - us and you guys. It's unnecessary, right?
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36498
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Kelly
So unnecessary.
Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36499