Every quote from The Office season 6, episode 17, in script order. First aired March 11, 2010.
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Michael
Hello hello. Top of the morning to you! Ooh ooh! Green M&Ms! Nature's Viagra! Two of my favorite joke areas combined. It'll be a good day.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36021
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Kelly
I don't want to bring my friends, why can't it just be the two of us?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36022
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Ryan
Because it's St. Patrick's Day, people go out in groups.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36023
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Kelly
Well why don't you invite your friends?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36024
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Ryan
Why are you being so weird about this?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36025
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Meredith
Stop fighting. Just on St Patrick's Day, okay? Just one perfect day a year. No hassles, no problems, no kids.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36026
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Ryan
Why no kids?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36027
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Kelly
Yeah, where are your kids?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36028
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Meredith
Nope. Nuh -uh. Not today!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36029
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Michael
It is St. Patrick's Day, and here in Scranton that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36030
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Erin
Welcome back, 'Dad!'
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36031
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Jim
Oh, thank you!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36032
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Phyllis
Hey!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36033
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Stanley
Hey!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36034
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Andy
Welcome back Tuna!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36035
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Jim
Hey...
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36036
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Dwight
Very good. Okay. Will get back to you right away on that, thanks.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36037
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Jim
What do we got here?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36038
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Dwight
Mega-Desk.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36039
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Jim
Of course.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36040
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Dwight
Command central.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36041
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Jim
Hm hm.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36042
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Dwight
Surveillance, gaming- and business.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36043
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Jim
Okay. Just gotta...
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36044
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Dwight
Okay. Come on! Jim!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36045
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Dwight
Dweedle Dee and Dweedle Dumb-ass have been away on maternity leave. Now Dweedle Dumb-ass is back, and we have a problem. Yes, getting hooked on Mega-Desk was my own damn fault. But ... I don't care about assigning blame. All I care about is Mega-Desk. That is all I care about. Getting. More. Mega-Desk.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36046
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Jo Bennett
Oh, I love this, so much fun! There's such team spirit in this room! 'Morning Darling!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36047
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Jim
Morning!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36048
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Jo Bennett
Well, this is my last day at the Scranton branch for a while. But I'm leaving it in the very capable hands of some of the loveliest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Oh I'm gonna miss this place. And the snow! Hoo, my dogs love peeing in that snow! Makes me think they're onto something.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36049
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Jo Bennett
Oh good morning sweetheart.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36050
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Michael
Morning, honey-pile.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36051
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Jo Bennett
I'm sorry but is that a gift I see in your hands?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36052
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Michael
It is. This is a little something for you to remember your time here in Scranton by.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36053
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Jo Bennett
Is that a lump of coal?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36054
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Michael
Yes it is!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36055
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Jo Bennett
Have I been that naughty?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36056
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Michael
No, no no- that is a good gift actually. Buildings here in Scranton are literally powered by coal.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36057
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Jo Bennett
Err, thank you very much. We, we don't get to see much coal in Tallahassee, I'm used to alligators, and some of the worst Chinese food you've ever tasted.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36058
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Michael
Mm, that sounds great, actually.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36059
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Jo Bennett
Well, if you ever get down in my neck of the woods, you got a place to stay.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36060
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Michael
When you work for Sabre, only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser, or you practice bestiality, if Jo likes you, you are in. And I am in!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36061
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Andy
Erin go braugh!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36062
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Erin
Andy go braugh to you! Nice kilt!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36063
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Andy
Thanks. It's actually my sister's old field hockey skirt.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36064
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Andy
Erin and I have our first date tonight, and it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to 'How I Met Your Mother' that's the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about, and you better have a good story for them.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36065
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Jim
No.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36066
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Dwight
Great.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36067
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Jim
No.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36068
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Dwight
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36069
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Jim
No-no-no-no-no.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36070
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Dwight
Oh come on. Come on. Five more minutes? Five more minutes of Mega-Desk? Please?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36071
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Jim
Is this yours or mine?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36072
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Dwight
They say that no man is an island. False! I am an island and this island is volcanic. And it is about to erupt. With the molten hot lava of strategy!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36073
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Jim
Good Lord! I can't believe I'm missing this.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36074
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Pam
It's kind of like that lip thing she did last night, like a half snarl, half smile? I get the sense that she's very ironic.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36075
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Jim
Okay. Love you. We'll talk soon.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36076
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Dwight
Must be amazing being a father right, a miracle of life?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36077
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Jim
It is. Big time.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36078
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Dwight
Ah, that baby is just discovering the whole wide world right now.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36079
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Jim
Pretty amazing.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36080
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Dwight
What up is, what down is, who Mom is, who Dad is. Must be tough being here with all that going on.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36081
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Jim
Oh it's tough being here for a lot of reasons.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36082
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Dwight
I mean, you're here at work, and the baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36083
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Jim
Is that what happened to you?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36084
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Dwight
I'll tell you what happened to me. I didn't see my father for the first two years of my life. I thought my mother was my father, and my wet-nurse was my mother.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36085
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Jim
That's a common mistake.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36086
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Dwight
Turned out fine for me. But Mose? Oh. Same story, different ending.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36087
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Angela
Hey! Are you sick?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36088
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Erin
Oh, no I'm fine, I just have a little indigestion.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36089
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Angela
In your nose?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36090
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Erin
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36091
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Erin
I'm a little sick but I don't want to miss my date with Andy. I'll get better. Whenever I'm sick it goes away within a few hours. Except once, when I was in the hospital from age three to six.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36092
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Jo Bennett
Now, after all the talking I've been doing. It's your turn. This is a town hall meeting. I want to hear what you all sound like.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36093
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Michael
That is a great idea JB.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36094
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Jo Bennett
Thank you. You know I get way too many ideas from the top. Now I want to hear your ideas. I mean, did you guys know that Liquid Paper? That wasn't invented by some fancy engineer. No, that was created by a lowly typist.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36095
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Kevin
Jo, I have an idea, for suntan lotion - soap.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36096
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Jo Bennett
You know it doesn't have to be an invention.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36097
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Oscar
I have a question.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36098
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Michael
Oscar, homosexual accountant.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36099
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Oscar
In the training manual it says, that there is a minority executive training program in Tallahassee?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36100
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Jo Bennett
I am so proud of Sabre's 'Print In All Colors' initiative. Any Sabre employee of color, is welcome to apply. Daryl?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36101
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Michael
Daryl. Mellow, soulful, smart for warehouse...
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36102
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Jo Bennett
Okay hush now.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36103
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36104
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Darryl
The Sabre shipping method could be more efficient. Combining inventory systems makes sense on paper, but printers and paper ship differently. It'll be faster to deliver them separately, instead of waiting on everything to come in.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36105
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Jo Bennett
But you wouldn't need more trucks?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36106
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Darryl
Not at all. There's a way that it can be scheduled. I sketched this out downstairs.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36107
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Jo Bennett
Oh look at you.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36108
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Michael
Look at that picture that you drew. Nice job! We're very proud of you. You know what, we're gonna tape that up on the refrigerator in the kitchen.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36109
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Jo Bennett
I like this Daryl. I like this a lot. Maybe you should be doing your sketching upstairs. Would you like an office up here?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36110
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Darryl
Are you serious?
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36111
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Jo Bennett
Yeah. Take Jim's old office.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36112
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Gabe
Um. I set my stuff up in there. So... just give me a few minutes to clean that out for you.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36113
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Jo Bennett
Yeah, I want to hear more from you.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36114
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Darryl
Absolutely.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36115
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Jo Bennett
All right.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36116
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Darryl
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36117
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Jo Bennett
Okay. Any questions? Anything on anybody's mind? I'm leaving tonight, this is your last chance for a while!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36118
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Michael
Oh no! Say it's not so, Jo, we're gonna miss you, we're gonna miss you so much!
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36119
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Jo Bennett
Yes, well okay. Florida ain't that far away.
Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36120