Every line from The Office season 6, episode 12, in script order. First aired December 10, 2009.
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Phyllis
Never mind, I shouldn't have said that.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34472
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Andy
Does it hurt?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34473
-
Erin
It stings a lot.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34474
-
Andy
Hmm.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34475
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Erin
I keep trying to figure out who's sending me these gifts.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34476
-
Andy
I know, right?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34477
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Erin
So far no one will admit to it.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34478
-
Andy
Huh!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34479
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Erin
Is it you?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34480
-
Andy
Yeah! Totally! I admit it! It's me.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34481
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Erin
Seriously?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34482
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Andy
Seriously?' Are you serious?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34483
-
Erin
What?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34484
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Andy
Yeah! Totally serious! I'm your Secret Santa! Busted!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34485
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Oscar
There he is.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34486
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Darryl
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34487
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Oscar
Is Matt around? I got his check.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34488
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Darryl
Uh, Matt is on a delivery. Just leave it here, I'll take it.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34489
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Oscar
Ah, I'll just... wait for him.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34490
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Darryl
Matt's a pretty good-looking dude, don't you think?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34491
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Oscar
I'll just leave it here with you.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34492
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Michael
Ryan come here!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34493
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Ryan
Whoa, whoa.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34494
-
Michael
Come on, come on.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34495
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Ryan
I'm doing something over here.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34496
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Michael
Ahhh... Ho ho ho! Come on I need this. Come over here!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34497
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Ryan
What are you talking about?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34498
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Michael
Just sit down!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34499
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Ryan
No no no.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34500
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Jim
Hey hey hey. Everything okay?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34501
-
Michael
Yup. Ryan and I are just having some fun!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34502
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Jim
Can I just talk to you for a second?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34503
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Michael
Whoop! Okay, what?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34504
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Jim
You can't yell out 'I need this, I need this' as you pin down an employee on your lap!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34505
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Michael
Okay. You know what Jim, there are two Santas in the room. Things get ruthless!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34506
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Jim
Yup.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34507
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Michael
Do you understand, you forced my hand?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34508
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Jim
Michael, it's Phyllis. We want Phyllis as Santa.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34509
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Michael
Oh, do we? Do 'We?' Is that what 'we' want? Why don't 'we' take a vote on it?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34510
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Jim
Great!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34511
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Michael
Hey! Okay! Everybody! The office is being pulled apart! I realize that. There are traditions at stake. And there are--
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34512
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Jim
Who wants Phyllis as Santa?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34513
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Michael
No no no wait! No! There are other choices, there is information that we --Are you kidding me? Kevin? After you almost killed me?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34514
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Kevin
Michael I had you. I just want to try Phyllis.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34515
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Jim
And if you want Michael as Santa, raise your hand. Can I get you some punch?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34516
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Michael
I'll get some punch. That looks delicious.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34517
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Office
Aw, Michael!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34518
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Dwight
Excuse me. Whoever has been sending me the parts to this gun, I think you sent me a gear instead of a trigger.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34519
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Phyllis
How do you know it's a gun?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34520
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Dwight
What else does it look like?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34521
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Stanley
Not a gun.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34522
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Dwight
Well I don't have all the pieces yet.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34523
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Stanley
Well, unless the missing piece is a gun, you don't have a gun.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34524
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Dwight
Not a gun.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34525
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Phyllis
In the North Pole I spend many nights alone tinkering with toys. So today, let's put a twinkle in Ole Kris Kringle's eye! Let the party begin!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34526
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Michael
I don't ask for much for Christmas, I really don't. It's not like I'm begging people to buy me diamonds and ...broach pendants. 'Oh buy me something expensive or I'm gonna kill myself.' That's not - I don't care about that. All I want to be is Santa. And, you want to take that away from me? Fine. Go ahead. But when you need my help because I am ruining everything, don't look at me.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34527
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Michael
Behold! Jesus Christ. And I bring to you glad Christmas tidings. I want to remind everyone the true meaning of Christmas. Those of you who wish to join me, that's great. I'm excited by that. And those of you who don't, I forgive you. But I never forget.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34528
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Toby
Wow Michael, like this must be obvious how wrong this is.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34529
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Michael
Oh the Anti-Christ!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34530
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Toby
You can't, Ow. Look, you cannot push religion.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34531
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Michael
Oh but I can push drugs in here? Is that what you're saying?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34532
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Toby
No!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34533
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Michael
Well you have to pick one or the other. Your choice. Pick your poison. Get back to me. In the meantime, I am going to spread my goodness all over this company!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34534
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Andy
Hey Phyllis, could you not reveal to Erin that I'm her Secret Santa?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34535
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Phyllis
All right sweetie, I'll tell her its Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34536
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Andy
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34537
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Kelly and Erin
I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas day, on Christmas day...
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34538
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Pam
Have you talked to him?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34539
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Oscar
Who?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34540
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Pam
Matt?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34541
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Oscar
Is it that obvious? No- hey...
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34542
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Pam
Mmm! Good pate, right? Oscar made it. Have you met Oscar?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34543
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Matt
I don't think so.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34544
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Pam
Hey, Oscar, come here. Oscar, this is Matt, and um, Matt loves your pate.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34545
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Matt
I had some.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34546
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Pam
Oscar's pate is great. I could eat it all day, every day. Mmm. How come the good ones are never straight, right?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34547
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Oscar
Okay Pam.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34548
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Pam
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34549
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Pam
Yes! They're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34550
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Phyllis
This just arrived from the Dunder Mifflin North Pole branch!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34551
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Dwight
We don't have a North Pole branch. Idiot.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34552
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Michael
Uh oh, what's Dwight gonna get? What is iiiit?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34553
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34554
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Michael
Oh yes. It's space garbage. Dwight's gonna be able to build himself a friend! Deck the halls with crappy gifts...
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34555
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Phyllis
Ho ho ho! For Stanley! Ho ho ho! You've been very good this year -
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34556
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Stanley
I have.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34557
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Michael
Yeah, except for cheating on your wife. Adultery's a sin, look it up in the Bible people. What'd you get?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34558
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Kevin
He got scented candles!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34559
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Michael
Oh, that's appropriate. Lot of fire where you're going. Better get used to it. You're going to H-E-L-L double hockey sticks. You're going to Hell Stanley.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34560
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Angela
Amen.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34561
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Phyllis
And this brings us to you, little one.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34562
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Michael
I can't see from here people. Somebody shout it out, don't make me get up.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34563
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Angela
It's fabric! I really wanted this.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34564
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Michael
That's fantastic. You can make another dress that goes past your feet.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34565
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Angela
Andy, is this you?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34566
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Michael
No!
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34567
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Phyllis
It's a secret.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34568
-
Michael
Andy had Erin.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34569
-
Andy
Nnnnya.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34570
-
Michael
What? Was I not supposed to say it? What? Turn it back on.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Line 34571