Dwight

I'm going to run this by Toby and Accounting and have him assemble the data.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34207

Jim

That's okay, I'll do it.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34208

Mikela

Mr. Scott?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34209

Michael

Hey, Mikela Lasker, how are you?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34210

Mikela

I'm good.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34211

Michael

Good to see you. Where's your saxaphone?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34212

Mikela

It's in the music room, Mr. Scott.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34213

Michael

Eigth grade graduation, she gave a rendition of When The Saints Go Marching In that would blow your freaking mind.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34214

Erin

Wow!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34215

Michael

Well, you didn't even hear it.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34216

Mikela

Everyone's so excited that you're here today.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34217

Michael

Oh, good.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34218

Mikela

Now, I know you probably want to see everyone, but I was wondering if I could ask you some questions first?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34219

Michael

Sure.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34220

Erin

You're famous.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34221

Mikela

I'm sure you remember this place.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34222

Michael

Oh, yeah.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34223

Mikela

Do you want to go in?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34224

Michael

No, not at all. Nope, come on.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34225

Michael

Oh, you know what? You know what? I shouldn't go in there. I'm pretty busy, I should just...

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34226

Mikela

We just want to say thanks.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34227

Michael

Oh.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34228

Students

Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34229

Teacher

Mr. Scott, I know you're a busy man, and your schedule moves around a lot. But through all your generosity through the years, your tots, who are ready to graduate, thought it was time to give you a proper thank you.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34230

Students

Oh! What? Oh! Break it down! Hey, Mr. Scott! What you gonna do? What you gonna do, make our dreams come true! Hey, Mr. Scott! What you gonna do? What you gonna do, make our dreams come true! Hey, Mr. Scott! What you gonna do? What you gonna do, make our dreams come true!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34231

Lefevre

You came into our lives and made a promise, made us honest, made us realize, we don't need to compromise, cause we can have it all! Cause you made it possible, for us to achieve the improbable!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34232

Students

Hey, Mr. Scott! What you gonna do? What you gonna do, make our dreams come true!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34233

Michael

Wow!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34234

Dwight

Hey, so Jim thought it would be ideal if we all pitched in-

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34235

Kevin

Hey.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34236

Dwight

So Jim thought it would be ideal if we all pitched in a 20 for this whole Employee of the Month thing.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34237

Kevin

Jim said that?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34238

Dwight

He thought you were doing an incredible job last month.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34239

Kevin

Jim said that?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34240

Dwight

You seem suprised.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34241

Kevin

No, no, that makes total sense.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34242

Dwight

Hey buddy, so every-

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34243

Oscar

Sure.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34244

Dwight

Five minutes ahead of schedule. Right on schedule.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34245

Teacher

Politicians are always coming around, telling us they're going to fix our schools, promising this and that. But you, Mr. Scott, you are actually doing it. You have taught these kids with hard work, that anything is possible. You are a dream maker and I thank you! I thank you, I thank you, I thank you, I thank you! So much.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34246

Lefevre

There were a lot of times over the years where I was pressured to get into the drug game. But I always thought back to my guardian angel, and the gift that you gave me. So I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to go to college, educate myself, and become the next President Obama.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34247

Michael

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34248

Jim

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Welcome. I know you're all very excited, but no matter who gets this, I just want to say that you are all employees of the monthin my eyes. And the winner is, employee number nine. And that is?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34249

Andy

Number nine, number nine. Jim Halpert.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34250

Everyone

Huh? What?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34251

Oscar

Are you kidding me?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34252

Dwight

Oh, no!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34253

Jim

Okay, wait, I was not... I did not-

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34254

Kevin

I... I... I did not... That was not... How come not?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34255

Jim

Guys, listen. This was anonymous, all right? There is no way I could've given it to myself because I didn't even know who was on here. I just gave it to the employee with the highest overall score.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34256

Angela

To my tally, you just won back your own parking spot, a vacation day, and a nice, tidy quarter of $1,000 from all of us.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34257

Jim

Will everybody stop for a second, because obviously I'm not taking any of it. A mistake has been made and we'll figure it out. Second of all, there was no cash prize.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34258

Angela

Yes!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34259

Jim

Dwight?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34260

Dwight

Yeah, you said 'In an ideal world, there would be a cash prize.' Isn't that what you said?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34261

Jim

No, Dwight, I meant... Yes, in a perfect world, someone would get money. But-

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34262

Phyllis

Yeah, but in your perfect world, only you get money.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34263

Teacher

Let's put your hands together and give a warm welcome for the man of the hour, Mr. Michael Scott.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34264

Michael

All right. Wow. Um, I am never going to forget today. Not a chance. I don't think I could ever give back to you what you have given me today. Who here has done something stupid in their lives? Like skipped out on study hall or mix up the difference between 'A' gym and 'B' gym, that sort of thing? Show of hands, anybody, yes, a bunch of you, okay. Well, me too, I've done something stupid which I would like to share. Ummm. Should we go?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34265

Teacher

Oh, no. We're okay. It's a double period

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34266

Michael

Ah. All right. I came here today because I promised you tuition and tuition is very valuable. But you know what's invaluable is intuition. You know what that is? That is the ability to know when something is about to happen. Does anybody out there have intuition? Know what's gonna happen next? Nobody? Okay, you're going to make me say it. All right, I am so proud of all of you. Derrick, and Lefevre, and Ben, and Ayana, and Mikela, and Nikki and Jason, and... I'm sorry, okay, sorry spacing, your name?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34267

Zion

I'm Zion, I'm Mikela's younger brother.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34268

Michael

Well Zion, I am not going to be paying for your college tuition. Which brings me to my main point and that is that I will not be able to pay for anybody's tuition. I'm so, so sorry.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34269

Michael

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34270

Mikela

You lied to us.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34271

Michael

I lied to myself too. I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close. And then I thought maybe by the time I was 40, but by 40, I had less money than when I was 30. Maybe by my 50s, I don't know. I wanted to pay for your education. I really did. It was my dream. Some people have evil drems, some people have selfish dreams or wet dreams. My dream was in the right place.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34272

Lefevre

You owe this to us!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34273

Michael

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Now I can't pay for your college. But you don't have to go to class to be in class. Online courses are a viable option to a traditional college experience. And the best way to access those courses is with your own personal laptop. Which is rendered useless without batteries, and I have one for each of you.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34274

Students

[yelling]

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34275

Michael

Hey, hold-hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. They're lithium.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34276

Jim

Look, there was a big mistake obviously, so I will fix it. Okay? This was your idea anyway.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34277

Andy

Correction. It was my idea.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34278

Jim

Okay.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34279

Dwight

My idea!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34280

Creed

Guys, I'm starting to think Pam's not really even pregnant.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34281

Pam

Ok, for the record, I am pregnant and, obviously there has been some kind of a mistake, so why doesn't Jim just pick the next highest score on the list and we'll move on.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34282

Phyllis

That's fair.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34283

Dwight

Excellent idea, Pam.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34284

Pam

Thank you.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34285

Andy

That would be employee number three, which would be... son of a bitch, Pam Halpert.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34286

Phyllis

How is that possible? No offense Pam, but how the hell is that possible?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34287

Dwight

There must be some reasonable explanation for this.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34288

Pam

No, wait, come on. I didn't miss a day, I came in early, I stayed late, and I doubled my sales last month.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34289

Andy

Oh, really? From what, two to four?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34290

Pam

Yup.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34291

Jim

Guys, this isn't some elaborate scam, okay?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34292

Deliveryman

Hi, I have an order here for a custom cake, Jim Halpert.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34293

Jim

Okay. That is me, but I didn't order the cake.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34294

Kevin

Look who it is!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34295

Angela

It could only be you!' Way to go.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34296

Dwight

He knew all along!

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34297

Kelly

I'm going to have some cake.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34298

Stephanie

David Wallace's office.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34299

Dwight

This is Kevin Malone, is David there?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34300

Stephanie

No, he's in his weekly staff meeting, can I take a message?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34301

Dwight

Tell him I'm mad at Jim, because he's asking us to give money to Pam.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34302

Dwight

This is Stanley Hudson. Jim Halpert is a menace.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34303

Dwight

It's Toby Flenderson. Listen, things are getting really bad down here.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34304

Lefevre

Hey, Mr. Scott.

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34305

Michael

Erin, can you give us a second?

Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34306

"Scott's Tots" Quotes (page 2)