Holly

Michael, there is some serious issues with Meredith.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23283

Michael

Oh...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23284

Holly

I mean all of you have done things I wouldn't have done myself but Meredith's actions are really over the line.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23285

Michael

Nnyeah. What ya gonna do?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23286

Holly

So, regarding this supplier, approximately how many liaisons have there been?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23287

Meredith

Liaisons, you mean meet-ups? I don't know, once a month for six years. Something like that.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23288

Michael

Meredith, why don't you tell Holly... it's not what she thinks. Nothing unethical happened... and that you just like to sleep around.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23289

Meredith

Am I in trouble here or something?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23290

Michael

No... no, this is just a stupid formality.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23291

Holly

No, it's not a formality. Now, were these, um, meet-ups just personal? Unrelated to business?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23292

Meredith

Nah, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for the discount paper. There's not a lot of fruit in those looms.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23293

Michael

Ughh! For the love of God we're trying to help you... stupid bag.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23294

Holly

What I don't understand is... why the steak coupons? I mean, if you were already getting the discounted paper?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23295

Meredith

Well it's funny. Maybe it's a girl thing, but after we did it, and he would give me those coupons, I just felt good about myself. Hey what's going on here? I thought I had immunity?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23296

Holly

Well unfortunately immunity or something being off the record does not really exist in the workplace. I mean I've never heard of anyone who's kept their job after something like this.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23297

Meredith

Well... I'm not quitting.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23298

Jim

Yawn. Four seconds.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23299

Dwight

What are you doing?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23300

Jim

Oh you had said that you don't do anything personal during work time so... I'm just making sure.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23301

Dwight

Oh, so wait a minute, you're going to time me every time I yawn? That's absurd. Really? Oh hey look, monkey knows how to use a stopwatch everybody! He's ti---

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23302

Jim

Personal conversation. Seventeen seconds.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23303

Dwight

There is no way that that was---

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23304

Jim

One second.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23305

Michael

Well, well. Holly... lujah! It's a miracle, you're at your desk.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23306

Holly

It's Mike-raculous.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23307

Michael

Hoo-ooh! Reaching! You'll get there. Anyway, I was giving it some thought, and there's no reason that two attractive, good looking, intelligent, funny, attractive people can't, you know, just... sit down and work this whole Meredith thing out.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23308

Holly

Sounds good.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23309

Michael

Good. Would you care to bang it out over lunch?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23310

Holly

Oh I already bought this...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23311

Michael

Oh no, no, no. Your food is no good here, my lady. Sorry! You know what? Let's go out! Dunder Mifflin's treat. Um, actually you're not a client... so... we'll just split it? Ethical.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23312

Holly

So, I've gone over corporate policy.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23313

Michael

What do you think? What do you think of this place?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23314

Holly

Oh, it's very nice.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23315

Michael

Istn't it? Yeah, it's kind of... business/romantic. So you're from Des Moines?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23316

Holly

Mmm.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23317

Michael

Wow, that sounds so... warm.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23318

Holly

In Summer.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23319

Michael

Here too. You know what my favorite season is?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23320

Holly

Maybe we should talk about Meredith first.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23321

Michael

Yeah, get the boring stuff out of the way. Autumn was what I was going to say. When the leaves change. It's just, I... I think it is the most contemplative of seasons.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23322

Holly

Ok, so I have gone over this and I have thought about it and I just don't think there is any way I can write a report that doesn't end with her being terminated.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23323

Michael

Wow, terminator, terminator.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23324

Holly

I'm from da future.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23325

Michael

Yeah.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23326

Jim

Hey, Andy.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23327

Andy

Yo.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23328

Jim

By any chance, did you see Battlestar Galactica last night?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23329

Andy

No, I did not. Was that any good?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23330

Jim

Actually not. It was really so-so.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23331

Dwight

Ok.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23332

Jim

I mean I like all the crazy monsters and stuff. You know, like klingons and wookies and all that but... Sorry, was there something you wanted to add, Dwight?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23333

Andy

Is that anything like the original Battlestar Galactica?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23334

Jim

You know, it's weird. It's practically a shot for shot remake.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23335

Andy

Really? Huh, that's cool.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23336

Jim

Story's kinda bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calrissian who needs to return the ring back to Mordor.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23337

Andy

Really? That doesn't sound right.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23338

Michael

I just don't want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance. I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? And Meredith needs this job. This is her main source of money.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23339

Holly

Well, that's very sweet but we have to follow the protocol. Those are the rules.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23340

Michael

Ok, new idea. We don't report it at all. We just punish her.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23341

Holly

We punish her?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23342

Michael

Mmhmm, tell her she can't have sex for six months.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23343

Holly

I don't think we could enforce that.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23344

Michael

I don't know. I saw this thing, like a belt with a key.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23345

Holly

A chastity belt.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23346

Michael

No, it's more of a underwear garment that has little spikes like made of, sometimes they are made of metal. You know what I am talking about. You unlock a little door that... down... where you, where you put, where you put the...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23347

Jim

He has not stopped working for a second. At 12:45 he sneezed while keeping his eyes open, which I always thought was impossible. At 1:32 he peed, and I know that because he did it in an open soda bottle under the desk while filling out expense reports. And on the flip side, I have been so busy watching him that I haven't even started work. It's exhausting, being this vigilant. I'll probably have to go home early today.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23348

Michael

I am just saying that I don't think that you understand what I am saying.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23349

Holly

No, you are saying that we should sweep it under the carpet, accept the discount on supplies, not fire Meredith and pretend like the whole thing never happened.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23350

Michael

Yes.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23351

Holly

What am I saying?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23352

Michael

Well... bleh busted. I don't...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23353

Holly

I'm saying that her behavior is unethical and a little icky and I don't think I want to work in an environment where that sort of conduct is tolerated.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23354

Michael

Well, you have to tolerate a lot when you are part of a family.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23355

Holly

It's not a family. It's a workplace.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23356

Michael

I will be honest with you. That car ride did not go well and that was not my fault. The only reason I am standing out here right now is because I don't want to take the elevator with her. And I am holding on to her leftovers.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23357

Jim

19 minutes and 48 seconds. What were we doing for 19 minutes and 48 seconds?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23358

Dwight

None of your business.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23359

Jim

So I guess I can assume that was personal.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23360

Dwight

Fine.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23361

Jim

So maybe you're not completely ethical after all.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23362

Dwight

Yes, maybe I'm not.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23363

Holly

It's been a little tense. People are suspicious of me. And my best friend in the office won't even talk to me. Turns out being the morality police does not make you popular. I should know because in middle school I was the hall monitor and the kids used to stuff egg salad in my locker. I was just hoping middle school was over.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23364

Ryan

Kendall from corporate HR is on line one and Holly is on her way in too.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23365

Michael

What's the only thing worse than one HR rep?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23366

Ryan

Two HR reps.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23367

Michael

You get me.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23368

Holly

Can I sit?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23369

Michael

I don't know. Can you? Kendall, my main man.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23370

Kendall

Listen, Holly, Michael, I just got the report that your branch submitted and there's a lot of stuff about a relationship Meredith is having with..

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23371

Holly

Yes, that came out during the ethics seminar.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23372

Michael

Let the record show that it was during the immunity part of the seminar.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23373

Kendall

Well, I'm not sure these circumstances warrant any action.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23374

Holly

Oh, I think it is pretty clear that it was unethical.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23375

Kendall

Well, from what I can gather it seems like a gray area. Look, to be honest the company is getting a discount at a tough time in our balance sheet and I don't know that the right thing to do for the company is to turn our noses up at that.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23376

Holly

Umm, Kendall, I understand that the discount is good for the company but I'm just not happy about the way we are getting it.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23377

Kendall

I thought it was clear with you, Holly. Your task was to get signatures from the employees showing that they completed the training.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23378

Holly

No, I understand.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23379

Kendall

Every other branch has managed to get this to us so if it's not something you can handle then that's a different discussion.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23380

Holly

No. I can do it.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23381

Kendall

Good.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23382

"Business Ethics" Quotes (page 2)