Pam

Well, I should go.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23183

Jim

Alright. I'll tell everybody here that you say hi.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23184

Pam

No, don't. I'm mad at them.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23185

Jim

Why, what happened?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23186

Pam

Not one of them called to congratulate me on our engagement.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23187

Jim

Ah. That... they might be off the hook for because I... didn't tell them.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23188

Pam

What? Why not?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23189

Jim

I just didn't, you know, want a deal.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23190

Pam

Come on, it won't be that bad.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23191

Jim

OK. You know what? Here we go. Uh, everybody? I just want to make an announcement. Pam and I are engaged.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23192

Pam

Hi everyone!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23193

Oscar

I thought you were already engaged.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23194

Jim

Nope.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23195

Angela

That was Roy. She was engaged to Roy.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23196

Jim

Thank you Angela.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23197

Kevin

I got a gift for Pam and Roy. Do I have to get another one?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23198

Jim

Yes.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23199

Andy

A little close to my engagement there Tuna, what's your game here?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23200

Jim

To get married.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23201

Dwight

She's not a virgin, you know.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23202

Pam

Wow.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23203

Michael

What's going on?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23204

Pam

No, nothing. Nothing Michael! Just saying hi.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23205

Creed

The tall guy got engaged.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23206

Michael

To be married?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23207

Jim

Yep.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23208

Pam

Sorry.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23209

Holly

Pencils down! Just kidding, take your time.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23210

Holly

Today is ethics day. After they finish their quiz I'm going to run my first ethics meeting here. It's gonna be insaaaaane. No, it's not. I have to read from the binder.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23211

Dwight

I got it, I got it.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23212

Michael & Holly

Let's get ethical! Ethical! I wanna get ethical! Let's get into Ethics yeah! Let me hear that Dunder Mifflin talk! Your body talk. Let me hear your body talk.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23213

Michael

WOO! Alright!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23214

Michael

Why are you helping her? You're not even dating.' She's my friend... and... ultimately my strategy is to merge this into a relationship... without her even knowing. Uh...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23215

Michael

Ok, let's give it for Miss... Holly Flaaaax!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23216

Holly

Thanks Michael. Today we're going to have a business ethics seminar because recently, without mentioning any names, there has been some misconduct at corporate and we have a very strict ethics policy and that employee has been fired.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23217

Kevin

Oh come on! He's right there. He was hired. Oh check it out, 'Hired Guy.'

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23218

Jim

Nice.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23219

Ryan

Ok, elephant in the room. Let's talk about it. Do I regret what I did? Of course I do. Even though it was an amazing ride, and I'll give you an example. Anyone see Survivor season six? Anyone know Joanna on that show? In New York City, I hooked up with a girl who looked exactly like that. Indistinguishable. So...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23220

Michael

Ok. Well done. Good speech Ryan, you're a good guy.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23221

Holly

Let's start discussing those questionnaires that you filled in this morning. It is wrong to make personal calls during work hours. Now, some of you marked that you very strongly agree. But ideally you would have selected totally agree.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23222

Phyllis

I thought very strongly agree sounded stronger than totally agree.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23223

Holly

Corporate would like to emphasize that ideally you would all totally agree with that statement.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23224

Michael

Well, I think we can all totally agree that Holly is totally fantastic.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23225

Holly

Thank you. In fact, spending a half hour at the water cooler during work hours is a form of stealing.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23226

Kelly

What?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23227

Holly

Yes, it's called time theft, and it's the same as taking money from the company. Can anyone think of examples of things that are over the line time wasters?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23228

Stanley

This meeting.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23229

Andy

Hey-oh!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23230

Dwight

Yes.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23231

Michael

Can't set 'em up like that.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23232

Kelly

Why is ok for smokers to take breaks all the time? If I want to go outside and hang out once an hour, then I'll just take up smoking. I'll do it. I don't care.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23233

Meredith

I'll smoke with you. I got a bag of cigars in my purse.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23234

Holly

Stealing office supplies is another big ethical area that there seems to be some confusion about.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23235

Michael

Can we have a moment? Can I talk to you for a sec? Lot of good stuff. And you look... you look fantastic.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23236

Dwight

Michael.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23237

Michael

Yeah.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23238

Dwight

What should we be working on while you guys are talking?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23239

Michael

Do some... do some work. People expect a lot from these meetings. Laughter, sudden twists. Surprise endings. You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You need to be Robin Shyamalan.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23240

Holly

Well, I just have to get through the binder.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23241

Michael

Do you... just... you're kind of losing them.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23242

Holly

I am?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23243

Michael

Yeah, don't think about the stakes. It'll freak you out.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23244

Holly

Ok. Michael makes a really good point so, uh, let's just open this up a little bit. Say my name is Lauren and here I am shopping in a supermarket and I steal a pencil. That's not right.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23245

Michael

Lauren, enough with the pencils.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23246

Holly

No, I have to go over pencils and office supplies. It's part of the ethics thing.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23247

Oscar

That isn't ethics. Ethics is a real discussion of the competing conceptions of the good. This is just the corporate anti-shoplifting rules.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23248

Andy

I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family? ... Boom!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23249

Oscar

Exactly, Andy.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23250

Andy

Yeah, I took intro to philosophy,

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23251

Dwight

It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23252

Andy

No that's... not how it works.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23253

Michael

I would not... steal the bread. And I would not let my family go hungry.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23254

Holly

Ok, but we should get back to business. Have any of you ever faced any ethical dilemmas in the workplace.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23255

Michael

Anybody? This is a chance for you to say something without any repercussions. Stanley? Oscar, come on.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23256

Oscar

Pass.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23257

Michael

I will go first. When I discovered

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23258

Holly

What was the dilemma?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23259

Michael

To tell you or not. And I'm glad I did. I feel very very good. Cathartic. I promise you that you are not going to get into trouble. You can say anything you want with total and complete immunity.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23260

Holly

Oh--- no no no.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23261

Michael

Yeah,. Come on, anybody. Let it fly.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23262

Oscar

Ok, once in a while I'll take a long lunch.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23263

Michael

A siesta!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23264

Dwight

Time thief. Time thief! Fire him!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23265

Jim

Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23266

Dwight

Never!

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23267

Michael

You are a thief of joy. Anybody else. Yeah?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23268

Kelly

Sometimes I download pirated music onto my work computer.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23269

Michael

Who hasn't? Good. Good! What else?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23270

Holly

No--- I, I'd like to hear more about that.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23271

Michael

Mmm...

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23272

Angela

I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he's clean, but I'm glad I did it.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23273

Michael

Well, let's keep this party movin' on.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23274

Meredith

I'll go. Have you guys ever met Bruce Meyers, the Scranton rep for Hammermill?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23275

Michael

Bruuuuuuuuuce.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23276

Meredith

Well for the past six years I have been sleeping with him in exchange for discounts on our supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23277

Jim

Jackpot.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23278

Michael

Ach! Wuh---

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23279

Holly

Meredith, that is serious. I mean not only that a conflict of interests, there's also an exchange of goods.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23280

Meredith

Exchange of steak. Have you ever had sirloin steak, honey?

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23281

Michael

That's crazy. That's crazy talk! Meredith! The Merenator, sleepin' with suppliers! Hoo-ooh! Wow! What time we got? You know what? That's a good place to end it. Right there. This, I think, was a great ethics seminar. She has given us a lot of wonderful things to think about. Right... what is wrong. Who's to say? Really. In the end. I mean because it is... unknowable. But, let's give her a round of applause. Holly, everybody. Holly! Get back to work. Great job. I am truly impressed. That, uh, you really pulled that one out. Classic. Classic meeting. We should celebrate.

Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23282

"Business Ethics" Quotes