Every line from The Office season 5, episode 24, in script order. First aired April 30, 2009.
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Michael
Get 'em there. Get 'em there.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30094
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Dwight
I'll do the best I can.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30095
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Michael
Are you kidding me?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30096
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Dwight
Deceit does not come easy to me.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30097
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Michael
Okay, okay, okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30098
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Erin
I really love your outfit.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30099
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Kelly
Thank you so much for saying that. I can't believe that Toby thinks this is inappropriate.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30100
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Erin
You look like J-Lo.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30101
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Michael
So from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart, I am sorry.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30102
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Stanley
Are you giving us our clients back?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30103
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Michael
If we could just focus and go down the line, and everyone would say, 'apology accepted', I think we would all feel better. And then we can break out my gift to you--complimentary white chocolate bark.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30104
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Stanley
Nobody likes that stuff except for you.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30105
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Michael
They wouldn't make it unless people liked it.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30106
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Phyllis
Michael, just give us our clients back. That's all we care about.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30107
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Michael
Okay. If I give you your clients back there won't be enough clients for Ryan and Pam, and I promised both of them they were gonna be salespeople.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30108
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Stanley
So?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30109
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Michael
Fine, have your clients. I can see that's what you wanted all along. However, I rescind my apology.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30110
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Dwight
That's fair.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30111
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Michael
You are not reacting at all as I had hoped.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30112
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Darryl
What'd I tell you about building forts in my warehouse?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30113
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Ryan
Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople, so now there's not enough for both me and Pam to stay on.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30114
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Pam
He can only keep one of us as a salesperson now. He'll make his decision by the end of the day.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30115
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Ryan
I think you should get it. You really grew into it.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30116
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Pam
Oh. I think you should get it. You've changed a lot and you'd be good at it.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30117
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Ryan
If you really think that, will you tell that to Michael? That would go a long way coming from you.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30118
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30119
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Ryan
Thanks.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30120
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Creed
So hey, I'm want to set you up with my daughter.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30121
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Jim
Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30122
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Creed
I thought you were gay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30123
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Jim
Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30124
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Creed
I don't know.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30125
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Michael
Jim. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30126
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Jim
Sure. Let me just finish this turn.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30127
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Michael
And Bingo was his name. Let's go.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30128
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Creed
Challenge.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30129
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Michael
I need your help. This whole Pam/Ryan debate is screwing with my head.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30130
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Jim
I don't want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan. You know that.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30131
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Michael
You're close with Pam too.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30132
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Jim
Eh, she's nice, I guess. You know what? Best thing to do, Pros and Cons list.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30133
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Michael
Pro for Ryan, he went to business school, he's my number one choice.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30134
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Jim
Well, that's--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30135
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Michael
I like his hair.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30136
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Jim
Cons, Ryan. He defrauded the company. He has never made a sale.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30137
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Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30138
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Jim
He definitely stole my iPod.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30139
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Michael
That sounds pretty biased.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30140
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Jim
You didn't hear my pros. Environmentally-conscious 'cause his mom drives him to work everyday.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30141
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Michael
Okay. Pam, pros.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30142
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Jim
Mm-hmm.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30143
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Michael
I like her. I think that she is a fast learner. Cons, she doesn't always follow through. Sh--New York and the whole art school thing. And Roy. She has a weird voice.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30144
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Jim
That's not true.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30145
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Michael
I don't need to tell you that.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30146
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Jim
I think she'd be a really good salesperson.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30147
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Michael
I don't think you are being totally impartial though, because you haven't said one bad thing about Pam.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30148
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Jim
And I won't.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30149
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Michael
Okay. So be it, then you've lost credibility. And I'm going to go with my guy, and that's Ryan.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30150
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Jim
All right. You're right, sometimes when she's tired, she can be a little bit shrill. But that's not a weird voice.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30151
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Michael
Oh, wow! Whoa!
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30152
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Jim
Take it easy.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30153
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Michael
Ho-ho, man! Wow. Honey! I want you to bring the garbage out. 'Cause I'm not going to have sex with you unless you bring out the garba--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30154
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Michael
I have a very difficult decision to make. It's like last week I was at the video store. Do I rent Devil Wears Prada again? Or do I finally get around to seeing Sophie's Choice? It is what you would call a classic difficult decision.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30155
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Andy
You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30156
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Toby
All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30157
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Dwight
Listen up, Flenderson. You're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? Here are the new rules. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30158
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Toby
All right, come. Sit down, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30159
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Dwight
No.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30160
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Toby
I'm running this meeting.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30161
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Dwight
That's debatable.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30162
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Toby
It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30163
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Meredith
Ooh, where has this guy been?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30164
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Toby
Casual Fridays are cancelled. Let's just not do it anymore.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30165
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Andy
You're running from the problem.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30166
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Toby
There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30167
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Michael
Pam, can you come in here, please? Have a seat. Well, there's no easy way of saying this. So I think I will just...drag it out. Since the dawn of time there has been--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30168
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Pam
Just tell me.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30169
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Michael
I gave Ryan the sales job. There just weren't enough clients for the two of you. So I had to--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30170
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Pam
No, okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30171
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Michael
I'm sorry, sorry.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30172
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Pam
Okay, I get it. Why are you giggling? Is this a joke? Michael, is this-- did I get the job?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30173
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Michael
Yes, you did.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30174
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Pam
I did?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30175
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Michael
Yep.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30176
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Pam
For real, you're not kidding?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30177
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Michael
No, you--no.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30178
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Pam
I did?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30179
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Michael
No, you're the best person for the job. You're going to be great.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30180
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Pam
Oh, Michael, thank you. Thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30181
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Michael
Oh, oh!
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30182
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Pam
Thank you. You will not be sorry.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30183
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Michael
You should have seen your face. Oh man! Oh, that was classic.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30184
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Pam
Oh. I really thought I didn't get it.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30185
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Michael
Oh, really?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30186
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Pam
Yeah. 'Cause you said I didn't
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30187
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Michael
Oh, man. That was really good. That was really good.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30188
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Pam
What about Ryan?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30189
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Michael
I don't know, I offered him his temp job back. We'll see. He was not happy at all when I offered him this job and then I told him he didn't get the job, so--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30190
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Pam
Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't fake fire people anymore.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30191
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Michael
I don't appreciate you telling me what to do. So clean out your desk, you are through here.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30192
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Pam
Thanks, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30193