Every line from The Office season 5, episode 24, in script order. First aired April 30, 2009.
-
Michael
Against who?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29994
-
Ryan
You. Us.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29995
-
Pam
What?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29996
-
Ryan
It's gotta be because they all want their clients.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29997
-
Michael
The old Michael Scott might have taken this, but not the new Michael Scott. They are in for a bitter surprise. I am not to be truffled with.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29998
-
Michael
Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You two were the only ones with the stones to follow.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29999
-
Pam
Mm-hmmm.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30000
-
Michael
That was us, right there.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30001
-
Pam
We were something else.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30002
-
Ryan
What you gotta do is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30003
-
Michael
Mm-hmm.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30004
-
Ryan
Chiklis style.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30005
-
Michael
Yeah, the Commish.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30006
-
Ryan
Yes, but Chiklis Shield style. Not Commish style.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30007
-
Michael
Yeah, yeah. The Shield.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30008
-
Creed
It's crazy what's going on out there today, huh?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30009
-
Jim
I know. Yeah, it's...kinda--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30010
-
Creed
Sometimes it's best just to say out of it.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30011
-
Jim
That's true. That's right. Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30012
-
Creed
Want to play a game?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30013
-
Michael
Hey gang. Where you been?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30014
-
Dwight
Lunch.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30015
-
Michael
Where'd you eat?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30016
-
Phyllis
A restaurant.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30017
-
Michael
What'd you have, Stanley?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30018
-
Andy
I had a salmon salad. With water, no ice. I was going to get a soda, but the waiter talked me out of it. Her name was Flo, she had black hair.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30019
-
Stanley
I had Mexican food.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30020
-
Michael
So since you guys already ate, you won't be eating the stuff you brought with you for lunch, will you? Oh, wow, Stanley. Is that egg salad? Andy brought some salmon.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30021
-
Ryan
That looks great.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30022
-
Michael
Dwight, is that a meat sandwich? You guys hungry?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30023
-
Ryan
I can eat.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30024
-
Michael
I'm going to o have some of this meat sandwich.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30025
-
Dwight
It's pony.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30026
-
Michael
Mom. What kind of sauce is on your salmon?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30027
-
Andy
Dijonnaise.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30028
-
Michael
Mmm. Thanks for going out, guys.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30029
-
Pam
Mmm.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30030
-
Toby
Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30031
-
Meredith
About what?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30032
-
Toby
Your outfit.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30033
-
Meredith
What? What's wrong with my outfit?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30034
-
Toby
You--you might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ri--it's riding up a little high.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30035
-
Meredith
A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? Is that how it goes?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30036
-
Oscar
Meredith, your boob is out.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30037
-
Meredith
Fine.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30038
-
Angela
Meredith, too far!
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30039
-
Kelly
Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30040
-
Meredith
It's casual day. Happy?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30041
-
Creed
No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do this, I'm gonna do that.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30042
-
Jim
Well, what if I just do this?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30043
-
Creed
You don't want to do that.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30044
-
Jim
I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30045
-
Ryan
I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30046
-
Dwight
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30047
-
Ryan
Exactly.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30048
-
Dwight
That's my client.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30049
-
Ryan
Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30050
-
Dwight
Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30051
-
Ryan
Things have been generally good.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30052
-
Dwight
Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30053
-
Ryan
Look, uh, Mr. Bart...
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30054
-
Dwight
Hi, Mr. Bart.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30055
-
Ryan
At these prices with this service...
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30056
-
Dwight
Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30057
-
Ryan
You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30058
-
Dwight
Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30059
-
Ryan
No, no, no. Sir, don't listen.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30060
-
Dwight
I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. Ryan!
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30061
-
Phyllis
Ryan, hand the phone over.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30062
-
Ryan
Stop flustering me, everybody!
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30063
-
Stanley
Who let this boy on the phone?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30064
-
Dwight
Ah! Mr. Bart! Ugh! [slams phone down[ I cannot believe you lost that account. He was my client for ten years!
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30065
-
Pam
You made him lose the account by screaming at him the entire time. It's okay, Ryan.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30066
-
Dwight
You're a secretary! What do you know?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30067
-
Ryan
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30068
-
Dwight
And you're a temp and I'm taking your phone. I'm confiscating this.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30069
-
Michael
Hey, hey guys. You know what I want you to do? Shake hands, get over it. That was not a shake, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30070
-
Dwight
We want our clients back or we quit, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30071
-
Michael
Who quits?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30072
-
Phyllis
Me.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30073
-
Stanley
And me.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30074
-
Andy
Me too.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30075
-
Michael
You guys gotta be kidding.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30076
-
Dwight
No, we gotta be deadly serious. We'll start our own paper company. The Schrute-Bernard-Lapin-Vance...Stanley Paper Company.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30077
-
Michael
I love it. I love this idea, and I fully support you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you some seed money. There you go. There's some seed money for you. And you can take it, no hard feelings. But if you stay, I want an apology, and I want a big one.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30078
-
Stanley
You want us to apologize to you?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30079
-
Michael
Yes I do.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30080
-
Andy
That's completely backwards.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30081
-
Michael
It's frontward's.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30082
-
Phyllis
Michael, you thought you were attacking corporate, but we were the ones who got hurt. You should be apologizing to us.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30083
-
Stanley
That's right.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30084
-
Dwight
Right.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30085
-
Phyllis
Michael, you always said we were a family. Then you went after us.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30086
-
Michael
No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. And I have looked at this thing, like a hundred different ways. From my point of view, from their point of view...98 others. And the bottom line, I am in the wrong. I'm the bad guy.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30087
-
Michael
I need you to arrange a meeting between me and the sales staff without Ryan and Pam knowing.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30088
-
Dwight
Gasp. Are you talking about a secret meeting?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30089
-
Michael
Whatever you guys did earlier.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30090
-
Dwight
I don't know that first things about secret meetings.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30091
-
Michael
Just do it, okay?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30092
-
Dwight
I'll do--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30093