Every line from The Office season 5, episode 21, in script order. First aired April 9, 2009.
-
Michael
It's Britney bitch. And I am back, in the form of a new company. The Michael Scott Paper Company. Okay. Not gonna make this one.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29052
-
Jim
LOVE the hair.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29053
-
Pam
Morning Michael!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29054
-
Michael
Hello! They took away my parking space but they can't take away my pride!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29055
-
Michael
I would like to invite you all to come away with me, on a journey. Welcome! To the Michael Scott Paper Company!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29056
-
Kelly
So. I thought we could take the customer on a... Then. Then we could...
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29057
-
Jim
You realize you're not actually talking to me, right?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29058
-
Kelly
And...
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29059
-
Charles Miner
Hey Kelly?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29060
-
Kelly
Yes? Charles, you wanted me?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29061
-
Charles Miner
Oh, I meant, I meant that Kelly.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29062
-
Jim
The new receptionist is also named Kelly. So Kelly Kapoor has decided to hover around my desk, so that she can run into his Charles' office every time he calls for Kelly. She thinks if she says 'You wanted me' enough, he will in fact want her. It's not the worse plan she's ever had.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29063
-
Charles Miner
Oh, and Kelly...
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29064
-
Kelly
Yes Charles? Yes, you wanted me?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29065
-
Charles Miner
Okay, I'm gonna call you Kapoor, okay? And you, Hannon.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29066
-
Erin
If we're changing names, can I be Erin? It's my middle name.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29067
-
Charles Miner
Erin. Okay, that's very pretty.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29068
-
Kelly
Well you know what my middle name is? Rajani Ghanda! And I hate it! I hate it!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29069
-
Kevin
I thought Rajini Ghanda was a boy's name?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29070
-
Michael
We are in the heart of it. And the surge of water carries our business out to the sea.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29071
-
Pam
What should we do now?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29072
-
Michael
We wait, and hope that people show up to the pancake luncheon.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29073
-
Michael
I don't know I think we've done absolutely everything you can do to prepare for the day. I've updated our contacts, I have gotten quotes from suppliers. I have sent out an E-vite for our big grand opening pancake luncheon. Six yeses, one maybe, only eleven noes. Um, and 788 not yet replieds. But of that group, 782 have viewed it.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29074
-
Michael
I am going to need 800 of these, on nice bright paper. It is a coupon for unparalleled customer service.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29075
-
Pam
I make that one copy, and I become the girl who makes copies, and by the end of the day I'm receptionist again. And the worst part is, I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there. Cause it's technically a closet.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29076
-
Andy
What do you think?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29077
-
Dwight
Let me check. Oh nope! Clearly a hunter. Who knows how to throw an outfit together.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29078
-
Andy
Thank you!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29079
-
Dwight
Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29080
-
Ryan
You should come into town this weekend man. Yeah, we'll hang out Scranton style.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29081
-
Michael
Hey you said you were gonna be out of town this weekend.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29082
-
Ryan
Please don't listen to my phone calls. Yeah, she's like um, she'd probably be a Six in New York, but she's like a Seven here in Scranton. And then uh, my boss is my old boss from Dunder Mifflin. It's a small space.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29083
-
Charles Miner
Hey Jim can I get a, um-
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29084
-
Jim
Hi!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29085
-
Charles Miner
Hi. I need a rundown of your clients, can you get that to me.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29086
-
Jim
Sure!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29087
-
Charles Miner
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29088
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29089
-
Jim
What the hell's a rundown?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29090
-
Jim
When did you need that rundown by?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29091
-
Charles Miner
As soon as possible.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29092
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29093
-
Charles Miner
Just get it right.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29094
-
Jim
Yeah. Gotcha. Of course. I'm gonna dive in. To the rundown. I'll be exhausted 'cause it's like a triathlon. Do you want to close this? Close, or keep it?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29095
-
Erin
Oh.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29096
-
Dwight
You know there's a ghost in this office
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29097
-
Erin
Really?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29098
-
Dwight
A woman was murdered on this very floor in 1816. Haddie McGonagle. She was a prostitute.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29099
-
Erin
Why was she in this building?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29100
-
Dwight
Oh, this whole place used to be a brothel. There was a tavern on the ground floor.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29101
-
Erin
That's crazy.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29102
-
Dwight
Yeah isn't it? She was bludgeoned to death by the business end of a riding crop.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29103
-
Erin
Oh my god!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29104
-
Dwight
It was gruesome. They say she walks these hallways. If you ever feel a tapping on your shoulder?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29105
-
Erin
Hmm.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29106
-
Dwight
That could be Haddie. Begging for her life. And it could mean, that you're next.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29107
-
Erin
Oh!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29108
-
Dwight
Just kidding. You finding everything okay?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29109
-
Erin
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29110
-
Dwight
Yeah?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29111
-
Erin
Just got some ice.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29112
-
Dwight
Erin Erin...
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29113
-
Andy
Oh, this is awkward.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29114
-
Erin
Oops!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29115
-
Andy
Uh oh! Oh! Oh!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29116
-
Erin
So I'll see you guys around!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29117
-
Dwight
Hey buddy.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29118
-
Michael
Hey Ryan? Could you get to that copy from before?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29119
-
Ryan
Pam's better at that stuff
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29120
-
Pam
That is so insulting.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29121
-
Ryan
How is it insulting to say that you're good at something?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29122
-
Pam
Because the thing you're saying I'm good at, is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29123
-
Ryan
I'm not judging it, it's like ... I could run GM but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying one is better than the other.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29124
-
Pam
Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29125
-
Ryan
What the hell?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29126
-
Michael
Listen. Listen listen listen listen listen listen. I need someone to make a copy of this. Because I don't make copies, I'm the boss. Got it? I make originals.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29127
-
Ryan
Yeah I make originals too.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29128
-
Pam
Shut up!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29129
-
Michael
Stop it stop it! Bickering! Stop it!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29130
-
Pam
Really!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29131
-
Ryan
Yeah!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29132
-
Toby
Not much? What's up with you? Nah it's okay. I'm in the bathroom. Hey you been watching Damages this year? It's so good. No, you gotta tune in, it's as good as anything on HBO. Hey does blue go with tan?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29133
-
Michael
Would someone just make the copy?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29134
-
Toby
I have like, like a blue shirt? I don't wear a lot of colors, I have a lot of tan. Uh huh.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29135
-
Michael
Just make that copy okay?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29136
-
Pam
Seriously? This is what's so important, putting naked pictures on the desktop?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29137
-
Ryan
That's me and my friend Jonathan from Thailand.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29138
-
Pam
I don't want to look at your friend Jasmine's boobs all day.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29139
-
Ryan
You could be hot too if you made any effort. At all.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29140
-
Pam
Like how? Dyeing my hair blond?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29141
-
Ryan
This is from the sun.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29142
-
Pam
Oh yeah I bet.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29143
-
Michael
They're getting on my nerves Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29144
-
Pam
Michael, we can hear you.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29145
-
Michael
I'm on the phone, please. Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29146
-
Pam
Okay it's my turn.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29147
-
Ryan
No don't take that, give that back!
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29148
-
Pam
Give it back for what? What're you gonna do with it?
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29149
-
Ryan
I'm gonna make a spreadsheet.
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29150
-
Pam
You're gonna make another 'spreadsheet.'
Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29151