Michael

Uh, nine.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28943

Ryan

What are those, a men's ten?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28944

Pam

No.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28945

Michael

Look what he's doing.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28946

Pam

What is he doing?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28947

Michael

He's stealing them. Okay, okay.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28948

Pam

Oh my God.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28949

Michael

He's already paying for himself.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28950

Pam

Sorry!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28951

Ryan

Where is it?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28952

Michael

Right here.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28953

Vikram

Hey, c'mon, guys. These are prime selling hours, you know.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28954

Charles Miner

Miner -

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28955

Jim

Oh, there he goes.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28956

Charles Miner

...sees his partner -

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28957

Jim

Yikes.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28958

Charles Miner

Halpert. He looks up!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28959

Jim

Aw, man.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28960

Charles Miner

Defending duo! He sets him up! He sets him up. Yeah. Oh-ho!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28961

Jim

Oh! Goal!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28962

Charles Miner

Aw, man, I can't wait to play with you.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28963

Jim

Aw, it's gonna be the worst.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28964

Ryan

Do you guys want to hear about Thailand?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28965

Michael

Oh yeah.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28966

Pam

Sure.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28967

Ryan

It was indescribable.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28968

Michael

Sounds awesome.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28969

Pam

Beat.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28970

Vikram

What sort of investing club is this?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28971

Michael

Vikram, you ask a lot of questions and I like that. Hey, Nana! Hi!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28972

Pam

Nana?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28973

Nana

Michael!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28974

Michael

People turn to their families all the time when they need help starting out and if my Nana's investment club can help the Michael Scott Paper Company become a reality, then I'm sure that's what she would have wanted. Does want.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28975

Michael

Well I'm sure that you must all have very, very busy schedules, so I appreciate you meeting with us here today. What this is is a business that I have worked toward my entire life. Hey! I have assembled what I believe to be the most exciting, sought-after talent in the industry today. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dream team. From our very own Scranton, Pennsylvania - Pam Beesly. Pretty Pam is always reaching for the stars and someday, she may just surprise us all and grab one. Meet Vikram. From his humble beginnings as a - stay standing - from his humble beginnings as a prominent surgeon, he risked it all to become the most successful telemarketer in the lipophedrene industry. And do not call it a comeback. The youngest vice president in the history of Dunder Mifflin, and recent bowling alley employee, Ryan Howard is about to make a splash in paper.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28976

Nana

So let's hear it.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28977

Michael

Okay. I have spent the last 15 years learning the ins and outs of the paper industry. With a lean, mean fighting crew and low overhead, I think I can perform the same business at a much, much higher rate of profit.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28978

Nana

How do you expect to turn a profit in this economy?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28979

Michael

By wanting it more. By working hard-

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28980

Nana

What's your mission statement?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28981

Michael

Mmmm-My mission is stated as follows: I will not be beat. I will never give up. I am on a mission. That is the Michael Scott guarantee.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28982

Charles Miner

C'mon, Oscar. What positions do people play?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28983

Dwight

Wing.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28984

Kevin

Wag.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28985

Charles Miner

Jim. What do you play?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28986

Jim

Left.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28987

Charles Miner

Forward or half?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28988

Jim

Forward, definitely.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28989

Chares

Okay, striker, huh?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28990

Jim

Striker!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28991

Charles Miner

Let's see what you got in those legs!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28992

Jim

Alright! Let's do it.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28993

Charles Miner

Alright. No, no, no. That's supposed to be the kickoff.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28994

Jim

Kickoff. My strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible. Chalk it up to teamwork. Alright!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28995

Michael

And I offer same day, free delivery.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28996

Nana

Michael, I don't know about this.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28997

Michael

Nana. I really think that Papa would want you to do this.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28998

Nana

I'm not so sure.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28999

Michael

Well what is it exactly? I mean, what, what specifically? We don't - it doesn't have to be paper. We could sell medicine and other...

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29000

Nana

See, this is what concerns me.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29001

Old Woman

We could just give him a chance. It's not much money.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29002

Michael

Well... this might not be the right time, but I need more than I originally asked for.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29003

Nana

This isn't a handout club. It's an investment club!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29004

Michael

Okay.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29005

Nana

I love you, Michael. I do.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29006

Michael

Okay.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29007

Nana

But no. I mean it. No.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29008

Vikram

I thought Nana raised some good questions. What kind of a name is Nana?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29009

Pam

It means grandmother.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29010

Vikram

Oh, sweet Jesus. Look, I'm sorry to do this, but can you drop me back at the telemarketing building?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29011

Vikram

You know, Michael? You want to succeed? You got to apply the same-

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29012

Andy

Get 'im, Jim! C'mon, tough D, Jim.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29013

Charles Miner

Oh, my God! Oh wow. Jim, what the?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29014

Oscar

Phyllis, Phyllis.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29015

Charles Miner

Phyllis, are you okay? Are, you okay?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29016

Phyllis

No, I swallowed a crown.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29017

Charles Miner

Why'd you duck, Jim?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29018

Jim

What?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29019

Dwight

Yeah, Jim. Why would an experienced soccer player like yourself duck at the very last moment?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29020

Jim

Okay, I'm just gonna go get some ice.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29021

Charles Miner

Does that make you feel better? Huh?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29022

Jim

I'm sorry, Phyllis.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29023

Charles Miner

Oh, yeah. Jim's sorry.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29024

Ryan

Do you get TNT? The station? Do you get TNT?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29025

Michael

Yeah. I have cable and satellite as a backup. Yeah, I know. Two not-so-great things in a row. Ehhhh, well. Stuff happens, right? At least we got Ryan. The Rye-guy. We should call him Rye bread. We don't have to call him that. Unless you like it. We could call him that.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29026

Pam

I can't do this.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29027

Michael

What's that?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29028

Pam

I can't do this. I had a real job. I sat ten feet away from my fiance. I had health benefits. I was just feeling impulsive. I should have gotten a tiny tattoo on my ankle.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29029

Michael

Blech.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29030

Pam

I just keep getting bored. And I let things build up and build up and then I - I, I do something too big, like this. Who does this?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29031

Michael

Well you know what? My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world. And that's why God made so many.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29032

Pam

We don't have any money. We don't have an office. We don't have anything.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29033

Michael

Well we should make a list. Lists are good. Lists are good. Lists are good. First on the list, let's get you out of the car. Alright. Okay...

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29034

Pam

How come out of everyone in the office, I'm the only one that went with you? Is it because I'm that stupid? I mean, your own grandmother doesn't even believe in you!

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29035

Michael

I want you to listen to me. Because I want to tell you the situation that we are both in right now, kay? You quit your job. I quit my job. We both quit. Those are the facts. That's what happened. Now, what are our choices right now? Because you know, kiddo, you quit.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29036

Pam

Yeah.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29037

Michael

So what are our options? Well, we can start this paper company. We can try. Or... that's it. That's our only option. Because we quit. Pam, I do my best work when people don't believe in me. I remember in high school, my math teacher told me I was gonna flunk out. And know what I did? The very next day I went out and I scored more goals than anyone else in the history of the hockey team. See what I mean? I thrive on this. I thrive on it. So I'm gonna go inside. I'm going to make some calls, I'm gonna get us an office space, and I'm going to show you why you joined this company. Okay?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29038

Michael

You gotta have some extra space. Philly, work with me here. There's gotta be some sort of secret office that you have... lurkin' around... some awesome, free, keep it off the books... Oh, no. Not there. That would be humiliating.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29039

Michael

I did what I had to do. I stepped in. I took charge. That's what being a man is. And earlier today, I was freaking out. Pam stepped up. She was the man. Don't think a woman can be a man? Well, then that's your stereotype, not mine.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29040

Michael

Okay.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29041

Pam

I could work here. I could see this.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29042

"Dream Team" Quotes (page 3)