Every line from The Office season 5, episode 20, in script order. First aired April 9, 2009.
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Pam
Michael, that's fantastic.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28843
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Michael
Yeah, I guess it's not so bad. Got a few things cookin'. Umm...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28844
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Pam
Hey! We need to get you dressed!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28845
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Pam
I have doubts about this too. But when one person freaks out, sometimes it weirdly makes the other one calmer. That's one thing I've learned about relationships. I hate that I just used the word relationship. Hey! You look great! Let's go!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28846
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Michael
Alright.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28847
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Andy
[laughing at something on his computer]
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28848
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Charles Miner
You a soccer fan?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28849
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Andy
Oh. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. You weren't supposed to see this. This is like my secret obsession.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28850
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Charles Miner
Well, that makes two of us.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28851
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Andy
No way!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28852
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Charles Miner
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28853
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Andy
I hate soccer. But guess who doesn't hate soccer? Charles Miner.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28854
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Charles Miner
I was actually in Germany for the 2006 World Cup Finals.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28855
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Andy
Ahhh. You bastard! That shoulda been me!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28856
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Charles Miner
Yeah, I love the sport. I love the sport. Alright, man.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28857
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Andy
Cool!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28858
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Jim
I've never been a kiss up. I - it's just not how I operate. I mean, I've always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work. Half-heartedly.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28859
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Pam
Next on the list - open the mail.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28860
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Michael
Oh. Wow. 'Michael Scott Paper Company.' Okay. Very official. 'Dear Mr. Scott. Please be advised that it is in violation of your condominium agreement to conduct a business headquartered in your residence. The penalty, a forfeiture of residence.'
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28861
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Pam
No, okay. It's fine. It's fine. We're just gonna add 'find office'...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28862
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Michael
How are we gonna find an office? How can we pay for an office?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28863
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Pam
Next on the list -- song parodies.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28864
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Michael
Okay. Okay. 'Achey Breaky Fart.'
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28865
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Pam
Great. Let's sing it in the car.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28866
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Michael
No! No No. No. 'My Stumps.' Like 'My Humps' but a guy with no legs.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28867
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28868
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Michael
We can do this.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28869
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Pam
We can do this.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28870
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Andy
Whoa! And he just goes, 'Boom'. Goal!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28871
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Charles Miner
Yep. Yep. That's Pele.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28872
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Andy
You know your soccer, man.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28873
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Charles Miner
I know. Yes I do.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28874
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Stanley
I prefer Maradona. Uhhh... Diego Maradona.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28875
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Charles Miner
Oh yeah?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28876
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Stanley
From Argentina.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28877
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Charles Miner
I didn't know we had so many, uh, soccer fans in the office.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28878
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Andy
I mean, to be fair, I was the first one to talk about it, but...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28879
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Charles Miner
What about you, Jim? You a fan of the game?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28880
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Jim
Uh, no. Nope. Not really.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28881
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Charles Miner
Well, it's not for everybody I suppose.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28882
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Jim
It's 'cause I'm more of a player.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28883
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Charles Miner
Yeah?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28884
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Jim
You bet.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28885
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Dwight
Really, Jim? I had no idea you played soccer. 'Cause you never, ever talk about it.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28886
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Jim
Well I do.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28887
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Dwight
Wow.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28888
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Jim
I play.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28889
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Dwight
You can be so modest sometimes.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28890
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Jim
Well, maybe you should get back to work.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28891
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Dwight
Maybe you and Charles should kick the soccer ball around.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28892
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Jim
Maybe we will someday.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28893
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Dwight
Maybe you will tonight after work. What do you say?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28894
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Charles Miner
That's a great idea, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28895
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Dwight
Great ideas are just part of what I bring to the table.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28896
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28897
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Dwight
I don't try and be anything that I'm not.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28898
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Charles Miner
What do you say, Jim? Huh? Wanna play some soccer?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28899
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Dwight
Jim, what do you say?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28900
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Angela
Sounds fun.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28901
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Andy
I'm in it to win.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28902
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Dwight
Game on!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28903
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Charles Miner
Okay. See you on the field, there, bro.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28904
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Jim
Let's... eh... see ya.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28905
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Charles Miner
See you on the field. Ha, ha. I can't wait!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28906
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Jim
Yep, I used to play soccer in school. From second to fourth grade. I was on the orange team.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28907
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Pam
We got Vikram!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28908
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Vikram
You got me.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28909
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Vikram
Where are we going?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28910
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Pam
We have a meeting with an investor today.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28911
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Michael
Yes we do. So, get excited. But I have to go the bathroom real quick. If you'll excuse me, be right back. Ah, okay.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28912
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Vikram
He seems really confident.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28913
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Pam
He can be.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28914
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Vikram
Confidence. It's the food of the wise man but the liquor of the fool.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28915
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Pam
Hm. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, Vikram.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28916
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Michael
Hey. I would like a pair of size nine, please. It's Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28917
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Ryan
I'm swamped, Michael. Happy birthday to Sally in lane 27.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28918
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Michael
Okay, imagine a company that has no memory of your past misconduct because they have no files.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28919
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Vikram
He's taking a long time. Is it possible he's bowling? I mean, you know him better than I do.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28920
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Pam
Yes. Yes, it's possible.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28921
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Michael
Well, it has always been a lifelong dream.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28922
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Pam
Michael! What's going on?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28923
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Michael
I'm...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28924
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Pam
Hey, Ryan.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28925
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Ryan
Hey, you.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28926
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Michael
Excuse me. Yes?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28927
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Pam
This wasn't on the list.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28928
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Michael
Yes, it is.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28929
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Pam
No.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28930
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Michael
Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28931
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Pam
It's not.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28932
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Michael
It is.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28933
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Pam
When did you add this to the list?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28934
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Michael
Pam. Everyone deserves a second second chance. Ryan, just out of curiosity, how much do you get paid here?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28935
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Ryan
Sixty thousand dollars a year.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28936
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Pam
You get paid by the year at the bowling alley?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28937
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Ryan
What do you make, secretary?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28938
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Supervisor
Back to work, shoe bitch!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28939
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Ryan
I told you guys, I'm really busy here, so...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28940
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Michael
Would you like to come to work for the Michael Scott Paper Company?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28941
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Ryan
What size shoes are you guys?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28942