Every line from The Office season 5, episode 20, in script order. First aired April 9, 2009.
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Jim
You gonna answer that, Kev?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28743
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Kevin
Oh, right. Thanks. Dunder Mifflin, this is Kevin. Please hold while I transfer you. Oscar, your mom!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28744
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Jim
Charles is having Kevin cover the phones for a while. How do I say this diplomatically? I think Kevin is doing exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like him to perform in a position like that.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28745
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Kevin
Please hold. Andy! Phone call.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28746
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Jim
No. Stay there. Kev, thought we nailed the whole transfer thing earlier.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28747
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Kevin
Yeah, I wrote it on my hand... but then I washed it.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28748
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Jim
It is transfer, extension, and then transfer again.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28749
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Kevin
Okay. Andy, get ready. Transfer. Extension. Transfer.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28750
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Jim
Here we go.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28751
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Kevin
Oh, man!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28752
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Andy
It is 1-3-4, Kev!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28753
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Jim
Kev, c'mon.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28754
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Dwight
Hustle!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28755
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Kevin
Hold it.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28756
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Andy
You are murdering the Nard-dog!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28757
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Kevin
This is Kevin. Please hold and I will transfer you.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28758
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Angela
You're bad at this too!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28759
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Kevin
Just... don't answer that call!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28760
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Stanley
Just transfer the damn call.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28761
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Kevin
Your call is very important to us. Ple-[Andy's phone rings]
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28762
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Andy
Hey-o!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28763
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Dwight
Way to go.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28764
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Andy
My maid died.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28765
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Pam
Today is my first day at my new job at Michael Scott Paper Company Incorporated. You know, Apple Computers started in a garage. And we're starting in a condo. So we already have a leg up on Apple. Look, it's official!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28766
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Michael
Oh, good. My hooker's here. Hi.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28767
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Pam
Michael, you were expecting me, right?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28768
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Michael
Yes I was. Yes I was.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28769
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Pam
Are you wearing anything under the robe?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28770
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Michael
That is inappropriate, Pam. Come on in.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28771
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Pam
This looks great, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28772
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Michael
Thank you. Would you like some french toast?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28773
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Pam
Yes, please.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28774
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Michael
What shape?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28775
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Pam
... Square is fine.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28776
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Michael
Alright.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28777
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Charles Miner
Just want to fill you in on a few details. As you know, I will be running the branch while we search for Michael's replacement. So please feel free to come to me with any questions or concerns. Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28778
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Kelly
Where will you be staying while you're in Scranton?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28779
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Charles Miner
Eh, uh, in a hotel.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28780
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Angela
Charles, where were you born?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28781
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Charles Miner
Actually, I meant questions more about the day-to-day operations of the company. Kay. Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28782
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Andy
How are operations of the company? Just, day-to day.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28783
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Charles Miner
Okay, let's go over non-discretionary cuts. Okay, guys? Thank you. So, umm...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28784
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Jim
Would you please stop that?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28785
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Dwight
What?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28786
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Jim
You're breathing very heavily.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28787
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Dwight
This is how I breathe.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28788
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Jim
No it's not.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28789
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Dwight
If you want to tell me -
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28790
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Charles Miner
Okay, Jim Halpert. I need your eyes up front.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28791
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Jim
Oh no. I was just -
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28792
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Charles Miner
No. Hey, hey. I just want to hear 'yes'.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28793
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Jim
... Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28794
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Charles Miner
Good. As I was saying...
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28795
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Dwight
Oh no! The new boss does not find Jim adorable! Ohhhh!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28796
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Pam
So, what do you say we get started?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28797
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Michael
After breakfast.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28798
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Pam
I'm full.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28799
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Michael
So how you feeling about the new company?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28800
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Pam
I feel good. Wow.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28801
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Michael
You excited? About the new company?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28802
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Pam
Yeah. I'm excited to start the company.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28803
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Michael
After breakfast.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28804
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Pam
We did that. So, what's next? Michael, just stop for a second. Michael. Stop for a second.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28805
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Michael
No, I'm whipping them.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28806
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Pam
No, I know you are.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28807
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Michael
Just let go.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28808
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Pam
Just let me have... Oh.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28809
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Michael
Let go, please. Just gimmee -
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28810
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Pam
Fine! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28811
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Michael
I can't do this! This is pathetic, isn't it? I am such an idiot. I gave up the only job I ever loved to do this? I have egg in my Crocs.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28812
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Phyllis
I never see him drink. I never see him eat.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28813
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Stanley
I don't think he even uses the bathroom.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28814
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Creed
Oh, he does. He does.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28815
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Michael
I feel weak today. Felt much stronger yesterday. Like Benjamin Button in reverse.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28816
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Pam
You know, Michael. When I feel overwhelmed -
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28817
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Michael
I'm not overwhelmed, Pam.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28818
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Pam
I know! No, I'm saying that when I feel overwhelmed, something I like to do is make a list. Make a list of things to do and then start with the easy stuff.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28819
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Michael
Whatever calms you down.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28820
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Pam
Okay, first, work out. And, hey! Look! You did that. Check. Eat an enormous breakfast. Check.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28821
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Michael
Don't patronize me, Pam.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28822
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Pam
I think you should get dressed.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28823
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Michael
I'm not getting dressed. I'm not getting dressed. I have too many things to do before I get dressed. I need to find a hundred clients.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28824
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Pam
Michael, that seems impossible.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28825
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Michael
It's totally impossible!
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28826
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Pam
We need to come up with one realistic thing that we could do today.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28827
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Michael
Assemble a sales team. A dream team.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28828
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Pam
Great.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28829
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Michael
Okay, Ryan.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28830
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Pam
No. What? Why?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28831
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Michael
He's everything I'm not and everything I am. He's the whole package.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28832
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Pam
No. We're not gonna hire Ryan.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28833
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Michael
Umm... Oh! Vikram! Best salesman I've ever met.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28834
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Pam
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28835
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Michael
He worked at that telemarketing place.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28836
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Pam
We'll find him.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28837
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Michael
Okay. Oh also, we have a meeting this afternoon with a potential investor.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28838
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Pam
Really?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28839
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28840
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Pam
We have an investor already?
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28841
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Michael
Maybe. Barbara Keebis. She invests in local businesses. And I am putting together a little presentation for her.
Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 28842