"New Boss" Quotes (page 3)

Every line from The Office season 5, episode 18, in script order. First aired March 19, 2009.

297 quotes · page 3 of 3

Employees

Not a good idea, Michael. Michael, stop. Stop doing that. Stop it. You're going to get all of us in trouble.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28379
Charles Miner

I will walk away.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28380
Michael

I'm gonna walk away.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28381
Andy

Stop doing that!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28382
Michael

I'm kidding around, wow! Relax, everybody, it's just a joke. It's fine. Boy, so touchy. PPC, let's continue our morning meeting in the conference room.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28383
Pam

And then, out of that cake, pops another stripper holding a smaller cake. And then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28384
Michael

What is that smaller stripper holding?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28385
Pam

Cupcake. It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28386
Michael

Ok.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28387
Charles Miner

What exactly is the PPC?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28388
Phyllis

Oh, that's the Party Planning Committee. They spend hours planning parties.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28389
Charles Miner

Excuse me, guys. What's going on in here?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28390
Michael

Party Planning Committee. Not your concern, Charles.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28391
Charles Miner

This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28392
Michael

Really? Well then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28393
Jim

No, I would like to get back to work, actually, please.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28394
Charles Miner

Whatcha got, Jim?... What is a two-way petting zoo?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28395
Jim

You pet the animals and they pet you back.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28396
Michael

It's a great idea. And we have a cake in the shape of a bale of hay.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28397
Pam

It's really just a regular shaped cake.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28398
Michael

But it's cool, and it's-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28399
Charles Miner

This isn't a good use of company time, Michael.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28400
Michael

Whoa. You're talking about my anniversary party, so. . .

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28401
Charles Miner

Everyone, except for Michael, go back to your desks.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28402
Michael

Yeah, why don't you do that?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28403
Charles Miner

Thank you very much.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28404
Michael

Yeah, here we go. Ok.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28405
Charles Miner

Ok, Michael, I'm dissolving this committee.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28406
Michael

What?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28407
Charles Miner

Yeah, I mean, come on. This is a work place. It isn't designed for your vanity.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28408
Michael

Newsflash: I've been here for fifteen years. Headline: You have been here one day. End of story. You have no right to cancel my fifteenth anniversary party. End of story. End of story. End of story!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28409
Charles Miner

I don't know if I have hurt your feelings or you do not disagree with my methods, but it is over.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28410
Michael

Ok, no, no, no, no. No. You know what? I'm going to New York. And I am going to talk to David Wallace. I'm going to tell him everything. And I'm sorry to say, you're screwed. And, you know what? You are gonna be through. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do that to you. Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel. You don't put it into a furnace. If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28411
Charles Miner

Come in.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28412
Jim

Hey.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28413
Charles Miner

Hey.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28414
Jim

Alright, Charles, I've gotta be honest. I think we really got off on the wrong foot here. And, truth be told, I'm a pretty smart guy, and, uh, a hard-worker. And a great number two for the office.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28415
Charles Miner

Number two?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28416
Jim

Second-in-command to Michael.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28417
Charles Miner

Oh, I didn't know that position existed.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28418
Jim

Oh, that's because at first it was a made up position for Dwight, just to make him feel better, assistant to the regional manager. But then he lost that, and Michael gave it to me.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28419
Charles Miner

So you're the assistant to the regional manager?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28420
Jim

Assistant regional manager, yeah.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28421
Charles Miner

Any responsibilities come with it?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28422
Jim

No, not exactly.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28423
Charles Miner

So you keep this made up position? It's important to you?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28424
Jim

Alright, I will, um, I'm just gonna let you get back to that.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28425
Charles Miner

Yeah, would you, uh?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28426
Jim

Yep.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28427
Michael

Hello, Stephanie. Ok, where is he?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28428
David

Michael.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28429
Michael

So is this the meeting you've been in all day?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28430
David

How did you get here, Michael?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28431
Michael

I drove.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28432
David

Ok.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28433
Michael

Cancelled my fifteenth anniversary party. Just pulled the rug out from under me. And he said no figs. I've already bought em. And I don't have a place to store them. So, I feel like I've been sort of boned.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28434
David

Michael. Listen-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28435
Michael

Do you talk to him about this? You've talked to him all day, obviously. Did you talk to him about this?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28436
David

Well, I didn't know about the figs, specifically. . .

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28437
Michael

Ok. Then I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense to me. Because I thought in the new system I was supposed to talk to Charles, and then Charles was supposed to talk to you, and that would dilute any need for me to ever talk to you again.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28438
David

That's not exactly-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28439
Michael

Clearly that's what you wanted.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28440
David

No.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28441
Michael

Fifteen years I have been here. And I have sacrificed a lot.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28442
David

Yes.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28443
Michael

I've put having a family on hold.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28444
David

We didn't ask you to do that.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28445
Michael

And I've never gone hang-gliding. And I've never driven my car to the top of Mount Washington.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28446
Charles Miner

Ok. Nice meeting everyone. I'll see you in a couple of weeks.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28447
Andy

Cool.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28448
Dwight

Excellent.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28449
Angela

It was very nice meeting you, Charles Miner.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28450
Jim

See ya. See ya. Bye!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28451
Jim

And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28452
Kelly

I could see our kids facing obstacles being half-Black and half-Indian, but it's so worth it, you guys.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28453
Phyllis

It's just me here.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28454
Kelly

I am going to get him to buy me a prime rib tonight.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28455
Phyllis

I think he left.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28456
Kelly

What?! Move!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28457
Angela

Hello, Charles? Charles!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28458
Kelly

Hey! Is that his scarf?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28459
Angela

No!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28460
Angela

Charles and Kelly? Absolutely not. He is a sophisticated man. He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship, ok?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28461
Michael

I don't understand that after fifteen years of service here, I have to get in the car and drive to New York in order to talk to you. That doesn't seem right to me. That doesn't seem fair. And I think that I've earned more than that.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28462
David

Yeah. You're right. Yes. I get it. I get it, Michael. Here's what I'm going to do-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28463
Michael

Ok.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28464
David

We will move some money around, and I will personally see to it that you have your party, you have your figs. I will be in attendance. It's gonna be great. How's that?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28465
Michael

I quit.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28466
David

What?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28467
Michael

You have no idea how high I can fly.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28468
Andy

I'm telling you, when corporate sends somebody, it is big trouble, or, really good news. And then sometimes it means business as usual.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28469
Meredith

Ok, what do you think?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28470
Oscar

Well, it's-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28471
Andy

Why are you asking him? I just told you why he's here.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28472
Creed

The real question here is who's this guy work for?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28473
Oscar

Dunder Mifflin.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28474
Creed

Ah, it's all starting to make sense now.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28475