Dwight

Michael, since it is your fifteenth anniversary at the company, I thought it might be appropriate to begin the festivities with a fifteen-minute round of applause.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28179

Michael

I like it.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28180

Dwight

Followed by a fifteen minute moment of silence.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28181

Jim

I don't know. Is it classy enough?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28182

Dwight

Jim! Enough with the classy, ok?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28183

Jim

I just feel like after fifteen years at this company, bravo by the way, that we should celebrate with a very classy event, a night to remember.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28184

Michael

I think you're right. This party has to have all the excitement, drama and intrigue of my time here.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28185

Jim

And of course, classy.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28186

Michael

And classy, yeah.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28187

Dwight

Michael, you're just agreeing with him because he's wearing a tux. Don't you see what he's doing here?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28188

Jim

Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code. So, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28189

Dwight

Oh, here's one: a string quartet, playing classy-cal music.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28190

Michael

You know, that's good but it's not classy. I-I need something classy like the opening of a car dealership.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28191

Jim

That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28192

Michael

Yes.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28193

Dwight

Mr. Peanut is not classy.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28194

Michael

He is.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28195

Dwight

He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28196

Michael

That's what makes him classy.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28197

Dwight

Ok, how about this? An ice sculpture, shaped like you, covered in chocolate-covered strawberries.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28198

Jim

Oh, Dwight, you're trying too hard, and that's just not classy. You see, the thing about classy is it's a state of mind.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28199

Dwight

Well, I'm sorry, I just don't know what classy is then.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28200

Jim

Ok, well let's just try this one on for size. And I apologize because it's right off the top of my head: an ice sculpture. Of you. Completely surrounded by a variety of chocolate-covered fruits.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28201

Michael

Strawberries?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28202

Jim

That's inspired.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28203

Dwight

I said that!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28204

Pam

Not classy.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28205

Michael

Not classy at all.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28206

Jim

De class'.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28207

Michael

French. Classy.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28208

Pam

Hi, can I help you?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28209

Charles Miner

Yeah, I'm Charles Miner, here to see Michael Scott.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28210

Pam

Sure. Just one second. Please have a seat.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28211

Michael

Yes?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28212

Pam

Michael, there's a Charles Miner here to see you.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28213

Michael

Miner? I hardly know her!... Hello?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28214

Pam

Yeah, are you coming out now?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28215

Michael

Uh-huh. Well, well, well, who have we here? Ah, it is Prince Charles Miner. At your service. Everybody, this is Sir Charles Miner and he is the new VP for the Northeast region. So, just give it up for this big guy, right? Give it up. Here he is.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28216

Charles Miner

I-I was-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28217

Michael

Wow! Hold that thought. I want everybody to go into the break room. I have a little surprise for you. Go ahead. You too. Dwight, would you escort our guest in there? C'mon, here we go, don't be shy, don't be shy, you're one of us . Dwight, stall him a little, I have to get the fish.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28218

Jim

Hey.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28219

Michael

Yes.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28220

Jim

Really wish you would have told me the new boss was coming today.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28221

Michael

What? No, I didn't want to make everybody nervous.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28222

Jim

Nope. I mean, I could have brought a change of clothes, or-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28223

Michael

You look dynamite. What are you talking about? Very slick. Ok, get the fish.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28224

Dwight

Originally founded in 1866, Scranton quickly became one of Pennsylvania's largest anthracite coal-mining communities.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28225

Michael

Surprise, there is nothing in here. The real surprise is in the conference room. Let's go! Oh! God! Ok, come on, come on!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28226

Dwight

We'll finish it up later, but essentially what we're talking about is...

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28227

Michael

Surprise! As you can see, I turned the bagels from O's into C's, for Charles.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28228

Charles Miner

Thank you.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28229

Michael

Took me all night.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28230

Pam

This is what you did last night?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28231

Michael

I met this guy at corporate last week and we were just digging each other's vibe. I was totally grooving on him and vice-versa. And besides, the last two people to have his job were Jan and Ryan. The former was my lover, and the latter my best friend. So, who knows? I do. It's gonna be mental! It's going to be mental.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28232

Kelly

My god, he's like a black George Clooney.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28233

Angela

Really? I don't see it. I mean, he's ok, he's not unattractive, it's. . .

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28234

Jim

Hey, how you doing? Jim Halpert, sales. Just wanted to say, if you need anything, let me know.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28235

Charles Miner

Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28236

Jim

I didn't think you'd notice. Uh, it's funny actually, there's another salesman out here, Dwight Schrute, and he sent out this memo, as he always does, and, uh, it was about professionalism in the workplace. Of course, he singled me out. So I just had to mess with him.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28237

Charles Miner

Uh.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28238

Jim

Oh, you'd understand if you read the memo which I should probably get you, there's probably one in a drawer... uh. It was pretty crazy. But, uh, not more crazy than wearing a tux, at work, I grant you that... so, uh.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28239

Charles Miner

Your name is Jim?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28240

Jim

Jim Halpert, yep. So, um, just going to let you get back to it...

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28241

Pam

He just had to wear his tux today.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28242

Jim

I thought it'd be funny.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28243

Pam

Took him 40 minutes to get ready.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28244

Michael

All right, let me introduce you to some of the troops. Accounting, front and center. Come on up here. I'd like you to meet somebody. This is the accounting department.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28245

Charles Miner

Hey, I come from accounting, too.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28246

Michael

Oh, nerd alert!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28247

Kevin

Ni-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28248

Michael

This is Oscar Martinez. He is Latino. And he just got out of a long-term relationship with a man, Gil, who broke his heart. But he didn't bring any of that into work, it did not affect his job performance whatsoever and I am very proud of him for that.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28249

Charles Miner

Hey, Oscar, it's good to meet you.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28250

Michael

This little hell-raiser is Angela. She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. One over there, in the orange

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28251

Andy

Hey-o!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28252

Michael

There you go! Where's the other?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28253

Charles Miner

You know, Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28254

Michael

Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin and he has no sexual history.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28255

Kevin

Hey!

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28256

Charles Miner

How about I just say hi to everyone at one time?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28257

Michael

Good. Good, good, good. Everyone, please give it up for Charles Miner.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28258

Charles Miner

Thank you, Michael. Thank you for the C-shaped bagels.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28259

Michael

Oh! Well...

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28260

Charles Miner

That's great.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28261

Michael

Above and beyond.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28262

Charles Miner

Hey, you know we're in tough times and we're not immune to this economy.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28263

Michael

That's true.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28264

Charles Miner

But the goal is to, you know, fight our way through this.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28265

Stanley

Stanley Hudson. Are there gonna be layoffs?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28266

Michael

No. Absolutely not.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28267

Charles Miner

Uh, hold on, Michael, thank you. Uh, Stanley, you know, we can't make any promises, but we'll try everything in our power to avoid that.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28268

Oscar

Do you have specifics?

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28269

Charles Miner

Sp-Well, um, Michael should have filled you in last week.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28270

Michael

Well, due to the economy, there is a lot of worry going around. I didn't want to worry people.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28271

Charles Miner

You didn't tell them.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28272

Michael

Well, why don't-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28273

Charles Miner

Yeah, I will. What I told Michael last week-

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28274

Michael

Charles is going to tell you.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28275

Charles Miner

Is that we are cutting three percent across the board, which means we will no longer be matching 401k contributions. All overtime requests will need to come through the corporate office.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28276

Stanley

Fantastic.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28277

Michael

Well, it's not official.

Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28278

"New Boss" Quotes