Every line from The Office season 5, episode 16, in script order. First aired March 5, 2009.
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Michael
Babe alert! Hello, I'm Michael Scott, welcome to our little shindig.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27768
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Lynn
Oh, hi! I'm Lynn.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27769
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Michael
Lynn, follow me, come on in. For you we have one of our top people Kevin Malone. Kevin, come out here show your beautiful self.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27770
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Kevin
Hello.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27771
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Lynn
Hi.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27772
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Michael
So run with the ball! Run with it, Kev. Where you from?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27773
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Kevin
I'm from here!
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27774
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Michael
Yeah, OK. Well, he only gets better.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27775
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Kevin
Thank you, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27776
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Dwight
I can untie any knot. I'm serious. Name a knot, any knot. Go ahead.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27777
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Blonde
I- I- believe you.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27778
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Dwight
You shouldn't believe everything you hear. In fact, there are many knots that I cannot untie. So where does a woman as charming as yourself find herself employed on a day such as today.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27779
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Blonde
Um, I work at a place that does catalogs for community colleges and small businesses.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27780
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Dwight
You must use a lot of paper.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27781
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Blonde
Oh God tons of it .
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27782
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Pam
What's the rule about eating when people are in the bathroom?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27783
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Jim
I think if you ordered hot food you're allowed to eat.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27784
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Pam
Oh, damn. They've been in there for like ten minutes.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27785
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Jim
Look at that. Bob ordered hot food.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27786
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Pam
Yes. And I think they gave him too many fries.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27787
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Jim
We should help him out.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27788
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Kevin
At the Circle Drive-In they show old movies. It's really cool.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27789
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Lynn
That does sound cool.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27790
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Kevin
I used to go there with my fiance. Before she left me. No, I mean, before I left her. She left me.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27791
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Kevin
I think I blew it. It all happened so fast. So... fast.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27792
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Michael
So, Eric. You mentioned before that you are in tool and dye repair.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27793
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Eric
I am.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27794
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Michael
Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy, so that's sort of a repair. Alright, I'll let you guys talk.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27795
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Michael
It's going very well. People are mixing, a lot of hope. Cause that's what you hate to see, when hope gets crushed. Sorry, thought I heard somebody coming in. Um, so it's not too late.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27796
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Dwight
...and the kind of discounts we're talking about are not... hold on - Michael, Why do you keep looking at the front door?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27797
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Michael
No reason.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27798
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Dwight
Is somebody after you?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27799
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Oscar
Why do you always go to that? Has anyone ever been after anyone in this office?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27800
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Dwight
Hey, it just takes one!
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27801
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Michael
Nobody's after me, I just, I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27802
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Kelly
You met a woman when you were giving blood? That is so romantic.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27803
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Michael
It's not a big deal really, I just, you know met somebody, we hardly talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27804
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Kelly
Oh my God, that makes it even more romantic. This is like a modern day Enchanted, it's like a fairy tale.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27805
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Meredith
She could be your soul mate.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27806
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Dwight
Oh, not likely. 3 billion woman on the planet, most of them live in Asia so the numbers just don't add up.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27807
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Oscar
It's possible.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27808
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Kelly
She could be.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27809
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Michael
Believe me its nothing. I hardly even talked to her we just, we were lying there next to each other, I think our blood bags touched.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27810
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Kelly
Aww.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27811
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Jim
Here they come.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27812
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Pam
What?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27813
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Jim
No, just kidding. Seriously though, that's enough.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27814
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Pam
Well, you should cover it with the broccoli.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27815
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Jim
Oh great, I have to cover?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27816
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Pam
Do you think they dined and dashed?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27817
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Jim
Well they didn't dine so, yeah, maybe they just dashed.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27818
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Pam
I thought we were having a nice time.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27819
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Jim
We were.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27820
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27821
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Jim
Empty.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27822
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Pam
Mine too.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27823
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Jim
Oh boy.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27824
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Pam
My God.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27825
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Jim
OK.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27826
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Girl
Is this the party?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27827
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Michael
Nah. [everyone groans and Girl turns around and walks away.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27828
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Bob
OK then.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27829
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Jim
So...
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27830
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Bob
Where were we?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27831
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Phyllis
Bowling.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27832
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Pam
Yep, that, yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27833
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Bob
You didn't eat much there Jimbo.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27834
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Jim
Oh initially I did.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27835
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Bob
Want some meat?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27836
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Phyllis
Oh sure, a little piece. Ooh, no mushroom though.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27837
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Bob
Forgot.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27838
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Phyllis
Yeah, thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27839
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Kevin
Hey, I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. Seriously, feel how sweaty my hand is.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27840
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Lynn
That's really sweaty.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27841
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Kevin
Are you on email?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27842
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Lynn
Oh, yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27843
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Kevin
Cool. Bye.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27844
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Lynn
Bye, Kevin.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27845
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Kevin
Good Valentine's.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27846
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Dwight
So basically, the greater volume you decide to buy in, the greater discount we can give you.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27847
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Blonde
OK.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27848
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Dwight
OK, what's up?
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27849
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Blonde
Look, I'm gonna go...
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27850
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Dwight
Oh-oh-oh before you go, I'd just love to get a firm commitment on this. You know maybe sign--
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27851
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Blonde
Look, we already have a paper supplier.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27852
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Dwight
OK. Well, thanks for wasting my time tonight, idiot. God!
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27853
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Michael
Hey, you don't deserve her.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27854
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Dwight
Thanks, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27855
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Michael
Hey, if anybody wants to go...
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27856
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Oscar
We can stay a little longer.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27857
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Michael
Really? Oh, thanks.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27858
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Kelly
Michael, it's time.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27859
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Michael
You know what, you guys, you guys can get out I'm gonna soldier on a little bit.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27860
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Oscar
Come on, we'll all go.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27861
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Michael
OK.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27862
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Michael
Four months ago, I dated a woman named Holly and, um, this is actually the first time that I've even considered getting back into that arena again. You know what, sometimes it's not about whether Cinderella gets her slipper back, but it's about the fact that the prince even picked up the slipper at all. There's a lot of princesses out there. You know, they have all different sizes and shapes of feet and hands so I think, I think my odds are pretty good.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27863
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Stanley
Pardon me, may I have a chocolate chip cookie? I gave blood earlier and I'm still feeling woozy.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27864
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Blood Drive Worker
Of course. That's weird. You got a cotton ball and tape and we've been using Band-Aids.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27865
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Stanley
I, uh-oh I feel so woozy I just Band-Aids.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27866
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Phyllis
Damn.
Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27867