Every line from The Office season 5, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 22, 2009.
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Dwight
What's this?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26399
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Jim
Looks like a red wire.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26400
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Dwight
Hmm. It wasn't here before.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26401
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Jim
Well it's a computer Dwight, computers have wires.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26402
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Dwight
Yours doesn't.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26403
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Jim
Doesn't it?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26404
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Dwight
No, it's going in a different direction then the other wires.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26405
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Jim
Dwight, I am really busy, I can't talk about this anymore.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26406
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Phyllis
Dwight, get out of here!
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26407
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Stanley
What are you doing?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26408
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Jim
I got 500 feet of red wire at a flea market up by Dunmore High School. 20 bucks for the whole spool. Crazy, what a deal. Oh he'll be fine. I made it up there.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26409
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Michael
What you talking bout, Wallace?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26410
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David
Hi Michael how are you?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26411
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Michael
Hi, I am well, how are you?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26412
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David
So listen, as you know, we haven't yet filled the regional supervisor job.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26413
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Michael
Oh, have you not?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26414
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David
Correct. And I was wondering if I could get you to do some of the field work that would normally go to the supervisor. There is an area from Carbondale to Marshbrook, where we have never done any business.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26415
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26416
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David
There is a small company there, Prince Paper. I can't get a report on it because it's not a public company. But we have been talking about going after their market, so I was hoping you could do some fact finding for me.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26417
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Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26418
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David
I'll fax over some of the things we're looking for.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26419
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Michael
Fax, why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26420
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David
Look, this is important, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26421
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Michael
Oh, well, then, email it to me.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26422
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Phyllis
You've got no taste Stanley Hudson.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26423
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Stanley
Oh, I do.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26424
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Andy
What are you guys talking about?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26425
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Stanley
Some actress, whether shes hot.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26426
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Andy
Who is the gal in question?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26427
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Phyllis
Hillary Swank.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26428
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Creed
Ah, Hillary Swank.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26429
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Kevin
Not at all.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26430
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Meredith
She's got mean eyes.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26431
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Pam
Have you seen her with her bangs?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26432
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Kevin
She looks like a monster.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26433
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Jim
Guys, she is a beautiful movie star, so maybe we should just go to work.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26434
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Meredith
She is an amazing actress.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26435
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Kevin
That is not the question.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26436
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Phyllis
She's not hot.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26437
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Kevin
Yeah, thank you Phyllis.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26438
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Jim
Okay, okay, okay. Why don't we just put this to a vote, and then we'll be done with it.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26439
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Angela
I'm not voting.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26440
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Jim
No one cares. Who thinks that Hillary Swank is hot, raise your hand. Okay, and who thinks Hillary Swank is not hot, raise your hand.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26441
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Kevin
Five. Five to five.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26442
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Jim
Thank you, accounting department.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26443
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Kevin
So what do we do now?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26444
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Dwight
What if the owner of Prince Family Paper has a beautiful daughter and we have to seduce her in order to get their secrets?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26445
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Michael
I will seduce her.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26446
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Dwight
No, I wanna seduce her.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26447
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Michael
No, I will seduce her.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26448
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Dwight
Please Michael, please.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26449
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Michael
No, I got it.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26450
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Dwight
You'll fall in love with her.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26451
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Michael
Yeah, so what if I did? That would take precedence and I would expect your support.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26452
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Dwight
Okay, let's go over the plan again.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26453
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Michael
Alright, I am a local business owner. I need to buy paper. I find out everything about their prices and policies
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26454
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Dwight
Your fictitious name?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26455
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Michael
Michael Scarn.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26456
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Dwight
I am a paper salesman looking for a new job. I find out everything about their expenses and salaries.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26457
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Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26458
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Dwight
Then we meet at the Denny's...
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26459
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Michael
No.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26460
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Dwight
...and then we compare notes.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26461
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Michael
No, no, I never said Denny's. IHOP.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26462
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Dwight
No!
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26463
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Dwight
You know how I feel about IHOP.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26464
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Michael
Oh, don't start,
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26465
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Dwight
Are you socialist?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26466
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Michael
You know what? I don't want to get into this debate again. I enjoy IHOP.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26467
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Dwight
I'll have a cup of a coffee.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26468
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Michael
You will have pancakes and you'll like it.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26469
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Dwight
Store only has three employees.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26470
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Michael
So what?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26471
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Dwight
It means they are not expanding.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26472
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Michael
Maybe they are shrinking.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26473
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Dwight
No.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26474
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Michael
They could be shrinking.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26475
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Dwight
No because their sign is centered perfectly above their store. No sign of the sign being moved.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26476
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Michael
Ah ha Yup.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26477
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Dwight
Its lunch time, and no sign of anyone coming in or out. Which means they are not taking new customers out to lunch.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26478
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Michael
Mm hmm .
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26479
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Dwight
Which Means they're not acquiring new business. So once again no growth.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26480
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Michael
And there are clouds. There are clouds in the sky, which means gonna rain, bad for business.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26481
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Dwight
Oh, it would if they were all cumulous and not cirrostratus.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26482
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Michael
Argh, why are you all...
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26483
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Dwight
Get your clouds right.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26484
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Michael
Shut up.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26485
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Dwight
So you go in now, I am going to go in exactly ten minutes. We have never met each other. We are complete strangers. Also, we are going to need a signal to bolt out of there if there is danger. Lick ur lips, try it. No, no like this. Good.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26486
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Michael
Ready to do this?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26487
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26488
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Michael
Good. Here come the sharks.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26489
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Michael
In nature, there is something called a food chain; it's where the shark eats a little shark. And the little shark eats a littler shark. And so on and so on. Until you get down to the single cell shark. So now replace sharks with paper companies and that is all you need to know about business.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26490
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Michael
Hello.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26491
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Entire Prince family
Hello, hi.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26492
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Michael
My name is Michael Scarn. I am a local business owner and I would like to find out about your company.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26493
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Prince Grandfather
Oh, please come in
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26494
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Michael
Thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26495
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Prince Grandfather
What kind of business are you in.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26496
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Michael
We are a law firm.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26497
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Prince Grandfather
I assume your primary paper needs are stationary, general office.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Line 26498