Every quote from The Office season 5, episode 10, in script order. First aired December 11, 2008.
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Michael
I got it on a website, that's not important.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25968
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Toby
Michael, We should contact some experts. You don't know what your doing.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25969
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Michael
Okay, you know what Toby? One of my employees is undergoing a crisis and I wish for just once you would take my side on this. I'm doing your job man. Hey, are you texting?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25970
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Kelly
Yeah, 'cause this is kind of a drag.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25971
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Michael
Alcohol is a drag. Yes. Here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to go around the room and have us each express to Meredith how her alcoholism has affected us. I'll begin. This Christmas party is perhaps the best Christmas party I have ever been to, but then you got so drunk that we had to stop and do this. That's how your drinking affected me. Anybody else? Another time when Meredith's drinking affected you? Come on people. If we don't say anything she's not going to get any better. Yes, Kevin.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25972
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Kevin
Well, Meredith, there was that one time you bought movie tickets and then you got too drunk to go, so you gave them to me. And that was really cool.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25973
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Michael
That's-- you didn't-- you weren't hurt by that.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25974
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Kevin
Yeah, you said affected by it. Thanks again, Meredith.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25975
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Meredith
You're welcome.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25976
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Michael
Okay, no, that's not what we're going for. Who has a problem with Meredith's drinking? It has to bother you. It bothers me. Right? How does it bother you? Dwight, don't you have anything?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25977
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Dwight
No, I like Meredith.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25978
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Dwight
Actually, I don't care for Meredith, but I don't believe in this kind of thing. In the Schrute family we believe in a five fingered intervention. Awareness, education, control, acceptance and punching.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25979
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Michael
Who is going to tell us the latest dirty joke? Who is going to tell us what you watched on television last night?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25980
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Meredith
I am fine.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25981
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Michael
Was John Belushi fine? Was Bob Hope fine? Hey-- come here. If anything ever happened to you, I would be very angry at myself for not doing all that I could do.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25982
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Meredith
I know I drink. I like to party
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25983
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Michael
I want you to say I'm an alcoholic.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25984
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Meredith
I am not an alcoholic!
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25985
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Michael
You can say it as loudly as you want, but we're not going to believe you.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25986
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Phyllis
I was waiting until later to hand out this years gifts from corporate. I don't think they're appropriate anymore.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25987
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Angela
Please stop making me do these things.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25988
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Phyllis
Oh, sorry, it's your job.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25989
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Angela
But it's the season of mercy.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25990
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Phyllis
You never showed me mercy when you were in charge. Why aren't you wearing the hairnet?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25991
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Angela
I lost it.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25992
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Phyllis
Ok... nice.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25993
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Meredith
I don't mind telling you that I have an addiction. I do. To porn.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25994
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Michael
Alright, no, no, no. No. That is the image, I think we can all agree is very disgusting. But you know what, Meredith, you lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow.? What is going to happen when you come into work and you're dead?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25995
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Dwight
I stab her in the brain with a wooden stick.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25996
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Dwight
There are several ways to kill a zombie, but the most satisfying one is to stab it in the brain with a wooden stick.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25997
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Michael
Everyone in this room loves you, but mark my words, we are not going to support your alcoholism anymore. The next time you light yourself on fire we are not going to help put you out.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25998
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Dwight
Oh, as fire marshal I would have to.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 25999
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Michael
Dwight--
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26000
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Dwight
She is a hazard to the other people of the office.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26001
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Michael
[sighs]...okay.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26002
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Dwight
I suppose I could do it if it was a controlled burn in a well ventilated area.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26003
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Jim
Yeah, but you're gonna need a permit for that.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26004
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Dwight
Oh right, that'll take a couple of weeks.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26005
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Creed
I can get you one in an hour.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26006
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Dwight
Really?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26007
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Toby
Okay you know, this-- this is over.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26008
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Stanley
I agree.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26009
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Jim
Michael, I think... you did the best you could, but this is bigger than all of us.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26010
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Michael
Enabler! Enabler, enabler, enabler, enabler, enabler. It's Christmas and we are turning our back on somebody who is asking for help.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26011
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Michael
You know what the only thing I want for Christmas? I want Meredith to get better. That's my only wish. But you know what? My wishes never come true, so I'm not going to wish that on her. I-- a watch would be nice.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26012
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Jim
They've been in there for 45 minutes.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26013
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Pam
I know. If she wasn't an alcoholic before, she is now.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26014
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Phyllis
That's a halwa shabkia cookie. They serve it during Ramadan.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26015
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Stanley
Mmmm... chewy.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26016
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Jim
Hey.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26017
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Andy
What's up?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26018
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Jim
Do you take requests?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26019
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Andy
Sure.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26020
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Jim
Please stop. People are having a Christmas party.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26021
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Michael
I'll be down in a minute. Could you write down the number of that rehabilitation center that you mentioned?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26022
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Toby
Sure. Wow. Ow...
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26023
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Meredith
We just missed Poor Richards.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26024
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Michael
We did?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26025
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Meredith
Yeah, I thought we were going out for a drink?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26026
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Michael
Oh, shoot. Oh well, we'll have to go someplace else then I guess.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26027
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Meredith
The Bog? Cooper's, Kelly's...
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26028
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Michael
We could go there, sure.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26029
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Meredith
...Brixx's, Carmen's...
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26030
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Michael
Yes, yes.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26031
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Meredith
...The Fort, Andy Gavin's.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26032
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Michael
I have a new place.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26033
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Meredith
Well, it must have just opened up.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26034
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Michael
It-- yep, recently.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26035
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Meredith
Yeah... all right.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26036
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Michael
All right.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26037
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Meredith
Enough of this Christmas crap. Let's get some party music. Yeah!
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26038
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Michael
Yeah, oh there you go.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26039
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Meredith
Yeah!
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26040
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Michael
That's good.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26041
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Meredith
Yeah that's better.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26042
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Michael
We're party girls.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26043
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Toby
Hey Sasha, it's daddy. Have you ever heard of this doll , Princess Unicorn?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26044
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Sasha
Daddy, daddy, daddy!!
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26045
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Toby
No, No, No. No, I'm just curious if you've heard of it.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26046
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Toby
This is great. My ex-wife's going to be so pissed. For once daddy's gonna be a hero.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26047
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Dwight
$200.00
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26048
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Darryl
Yo.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26049
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Toby
Hey, I'd like to buy one of your dolls.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26050
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Dwight
Oh, that's my last one.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26051
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Toby
Oh, no, I-- no, no, I was gonna buy that doll.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26052
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Darryl
Thanks man.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26053
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Toby
I was-- I was gonna get the doll.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26054
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Dwight
Not my problem.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26055
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Toby
But I-- I promised my daughter. Darryl, look-- I-- I need the doll, I need the doll. I-- I'm-- I'm begging you. I just-- I need it more than anything in this world. I need this doll. Darryl, man I need this doll.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26056
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Darryl
All right man, don't cry. It's cool. I'll let you get it for $400.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26057
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Toby
I only have $200.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26058
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Darryl
You can owe me.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26059
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Toby
Oh man, thanks, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26060
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Darryl
I know, right. Merry Christmas.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26061
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Toby
Oh thanks. She's gonna... oh...
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26062
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Darryl
Something wrong with the doll?
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26063
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Toby
No. It's even-- it's even better than the one I wanted.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26064
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Meredith
Sunrise Rehab? No! No! No! I told you no! There is no way!
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26065
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Michael
It's okay. It's all right.
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26066
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Meredith
No way! There is no way! No way!
Season 5 · Episode 10 · Quote 26067