Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 8, 2007.
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Toby
I'm allergic to mushrooms.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20094
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Jim
That's a bummer. OK, then we need to...Hey everybody. Hi, how you doing? Can I have your attention please? 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20095
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Pam
Conference room?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20096
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Jim
Yes, conference room in five minutes... No. No. We're gonna solve it right here. We're actually gonna talk about it out here. So, who has problems with the birthday thing? One, two, three, everybody. OK, so then we just shouldn't do it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20097
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Angela
What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie?'
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20098
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Kevin
Oh, I'll take 'em.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20099
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Creed
Well nobody's touching my cobbler.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20100
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Phyllis
Hey, Michael. I mean Jim.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20101
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Jim
Yup, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20102
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Michael
Under this tree, I think I struck the mother load. Those are nature's best mushrooms. Wild, and I have to say these little buggers are damn tasty as well.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20103
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Dwight
Stop! No, no Michael! Nooo! Nooo! Nooo! Arghh. Get, get them out.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20104
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Everybody
Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to Creed. Happy Birthday to you.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20105
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Michael
Yeah! Alright, skip around the room. Skip around the room. We want -- OK, alright. Yeah, don't do that. You're gonna break something.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20106
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Michael
Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth, and clothing, and television, and hamburgers, and to walk upright, and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. I don't need fresh air, because I have the freshest air around, A.C. And I don't need wide open spaces. Check it out. I can also make it the sky.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20107
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Michael
Hey, buddy.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20108
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Jim
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20109
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Michael
What up?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20110
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Jim
Sure glad you're back.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20111
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Michael
You are relieved.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20112
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Jim
You have no idea.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20113
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Michael
So what did I miss?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20114
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Jim
Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20115
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Michael
Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20116
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Jim
So, terrible idea.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20117
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Michael
Yeah, okay, I did that. Rookie mistake.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20118
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Jim
You did do it?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20119
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Michael
Uh huh. Yeah, just wait. Ten years, you'll figure it out.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20120
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Jim
Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20121
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Michael
That's what I said. That's what she said.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20122
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Jim
That's what who said?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20123
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Michael
I never know. I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension. When things sort of get hard.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20124
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Jim
That's what she said.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20125
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Michael
Hey! Nice. Really good. Bravo, my young ward.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20126
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Michael
Come in!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20127
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Pam
Oh, it's Creed's birthday today. Should we get him an ice-cream cake? Mint chocolate chip?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20128
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Michael
Pam, are you my friend?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20129
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Pam
Oh, no.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20130
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Michael
We have been friends forever, right?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20131
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Pam
Yes, I have been working with you forever.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20132
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Michael
Hypothetically... would you go camping with me, if I were to ask you? And bear in mind that I would never actually ask you to go camping. That Jim is also a friend of mine, and I would rather die than make any sort of improper ovation toward you.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20133
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Pam
I don't think so.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20134
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Pam
Here's the thing. When Michael invents a hypothetical situation, he eventually turns it into an actual situation.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20135
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Michael
Do you understand that Jim is like a brother to me, and I would never do anything inappropriate?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20136
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Pam
I do.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20137
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Michael
So, as friends, would you go with me on a camping trip?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20138
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Pam
No.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20139
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Michael
Thank you for your honesty.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20140
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Pam
You're welcome. Open or closed?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20141
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Michael
Split the difference. Hey... mint chocolate chip, please? Is Jim out there?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20142
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Pam
No.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20143
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Michael
Can you send Dwight in here?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20144
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Pam
Yeah. Dwight, Michael wants to see you in his office.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20145
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Dwight
You wanted to see me?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20146
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Michael
Mmhmm. I had something very personal I would like to discuss. Would you go find Jim, and send him in here, please?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20147
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Dwight
I'm on it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20148
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Pam
Michael has employed Dwight to track you down.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20149
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Jim
How much time do I have?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20150
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Dwight
Jim, Michael's office.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20151
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Pam
Couple minutes, give or take.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20152
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Dwight
Now, Jim!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20153
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Dwight
And this... is a Hassenfass. Case-hardened steel. One side, as sharp as you'd ever want something to be. The other side serrated for maximum damage.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20154
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Michael
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20155
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Dwight
Look at that. Perfectly balanced. This is a fine precision instrument.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20156
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Michael
All right, Dexter, just give me the knife.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20157
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Dwight
Don't you want a sheath for that?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20158
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Michael
No, just get me a case. All right.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20159
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Dwight
Anything else? Flint...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20160
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Michael
MmMmm. All I need...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20161
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Dwight
Parka...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20162
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Michael
No, Dwight!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20163
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Dwight
Tent, rainfly, gorp...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20164
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Michael
I'm telling you, all I will need are my instincts and my will to survive.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20165
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Dwight
Mmmnnnnmmm...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20166
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Michael
What is this called again?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20167