Every line from The Office season 4, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 8, 2007.
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Toby
I really didn't think I was going to have a good time, but I did. Totally did.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19894
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Meredith
I love camping. Anything can happen.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19895
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Toby
Oh, it wasn't camping, it was more of a wilderness retreat.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19896
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Michael
Morning.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19897
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Toby
Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19898
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Pam
Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods for a 'get to know you' weekend. Michael wasn't invited. Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19899
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Pam
Did you sleep in cabins?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19900
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Toby
Under the stars. It was really beautiful, you should come.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19901
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Phyllis
Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19902
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Phyllis
Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. Toby went, but Michael didn't go. He wasn't invited.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19903
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Pam
Who went?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19904
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Toby
Me, Dan from Buffalo, Mark Chisholm, Jeff from Albany and Ryan, obviously. Made so many s'mores, that I finally had to say, 'No more s'mores, no more s'mores.'
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19905
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Toby
Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. It was this amazing, beautiful experience
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19906
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Michael
Hey, nobody cares. Nobody cares. I need that room at some point, so just, wrap it up.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19907
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Toby
Michael wasn't invited.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19908
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Michael
Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping, and you know what hypothetical means? Not real.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19909
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Jim
Got it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19910
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Michael
So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, would you go?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19911
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Jim
Absolutely, yes.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19912
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Jim
When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19913
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Michael
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19914
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Jim
Yeah?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19915
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Michael
Oh, you wanna go today?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19916
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Jim
And I am always busy.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19917
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Jim
Oh, can't go today, 'cause I'm donating blood.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19918
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Michael
How often can you actually donate blood?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19919
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Jim
Is there a limit?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19920
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Michael
Your body only has a certain amount.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19921
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Jim
Well, is that it? Or?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19922
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Michael
Yeah, just this whole Toby, camping thing, uh, seems a little lame.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19923
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Jim
How so?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19924
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Michael
A bunch of guys, in a tent? Making s'mores?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19925
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Jim
What's that?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19926
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Michael
Hello, I'm Broken Mountain. You know, here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. I think you go camping by yourself---
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19927
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Jim
Right.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19928
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Michael
In the wilderness. It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy, or two guys, if your plans change.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19929
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Jim
Not gonna change.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19930
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Michael
I wanna do it myself. You know, I want to go and, and find out something about myself, I wanna get outta here. All the cliques, and the office politics. Fluorescent lights. Asbestos.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19931
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Jim
I thought we had that looked at.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19932
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Michael
I'm sick of it Jim. I'm sick of this place.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19933
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Michael
When Jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called 'Survivorman.' And, it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out in the middle of no where and just try not to die, try not to get eaten by an animal, or be overexposed.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19934
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Michael
OK, I will only need two things. Roll of duct tape and a knife.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19935
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Dwight
I'm on it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19936
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Michael
OK. Thirty minutes or less, please come back. Save the receipts. Hey, what...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19937
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Dwight
Let's see if any of these will work.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19938
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Michael
Hey, hey hey! Dwight.. Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19939
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Dwight
I keep various weaponries strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk. People say, 'Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the work place.' Well I say, 'It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.'
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19940
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Michael
Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow, and perhaps the next day.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19941
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Pam
Do you want me to ask where you're going?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19942
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Michael
No.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19943
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Pam
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19944
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Michael
Dwight will be driving me deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19945
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Pam
Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19946
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Michael
Where he will then leave me to either die or to survive. The choice is yours.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19947
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Jim
Hmm, no, the choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19948
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Michael
Yes, and I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19949
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Jim
OK, great.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19950
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Michael
This is a very personal, private experience in the wild, that I wish to share it with me, myself and I.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19951
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Jim
Yup.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19952
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Michael
When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19953
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Jim
That'd be great.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19954
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Dwight
Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let's put it this way: no, I do not.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19955
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Michael
This is what a true survivor man does. You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. You could only wear the clothes that you have on, and you could only use the stuff you have in your pockets. Now, in this case, this disaster is a serial killer. Creepy guy who's abducted me and is taking me out into the wilderness to leave me for dead.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19956
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Dwight
No, I would never leave you for dead. You would never escape.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19957
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Michael
Well, yes I would. And I would survive.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19958
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Dwight
I would make sure that you were dead.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19959
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Michael
Well...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19960
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Dwight
First, I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips so you could not be identified.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19961
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Michael
You...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19962
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Dwight
And they would call me the Overkill Killer.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19963
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Michael
You... you are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real. OK.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19964
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Dwight
What are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19965
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Michael
I am putting this on so I have no familiarity with my surroundings. Now this way, I can't retrace my steps. I don't know what streets we've been--- Ow! What are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19966
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Dwight
It would be better if you were unconscious.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19967
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Michael
No! Gosh! Dwight. Stop it, stop it! Stop it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19968
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Dwight
Do you want to do this right or not?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19969
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Michael
Just, please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19970
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Angela
Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19971
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Jim
Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19972
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Angela
Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19973
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Jim
I do remember, yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19974
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Angela
It's birthday month. Creed's is today. Oscar's is week after next. Meredith's is at the end of the month. Michael usually goes with red and white streamers...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19975
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Jim
You know what, I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big shared party?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19976
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Angela
What?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19977
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Jim
There are thirteen people working in this office, so thirteen times a year Michael gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. There are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19978
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Michael
Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack! Not crack the drug.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19979
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Jim
And the other is something inappropriate. Or horrible. Or both. What else? He only sings the high harmony to 'Happy Birthday.' And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19980
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Michael
Happy Birthday!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19981
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Kelly
Ahhh!!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19982
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Michael
Happy Birthday!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19983
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Oscar
Ahhh!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19984
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Michael
Happy Birthday!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19985
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Phyllis
Oh!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19986
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Jim
So... I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19987
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Jim
We can just have one big fun party. Everybody's happy, nobody wastes their time.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19988
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Angela
I don't like it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19989
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Pam
Wow! You're shaking things up a bit, huh?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19990
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Jim
It's a pretty good idea, don't you think?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19991
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Pam
Do you think it's a good idea?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19992
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Jim
No... I think it's a great idea.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Line 19993