Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 8, 2007.
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Toby
I really didn't think I was going to have a good time, but I did. Totally did.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19894
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Meredith
I love camping. Anything can happen.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19895
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Toby
Oh, it wasn't camping, it was more of a wilderness retreat.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19896
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Michael
Morning.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19897
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Toby
Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19898
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Pam
Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods for a 'get to know you' weekend. Michael wasn't invited. Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19899
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Pam
Did you sleep in cabins?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19900
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Toby
Under the stars. It was really beautiful, you should come.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19901
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Phyllis
Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19902
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Phyllis
Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. Toby went, but Michael didn't go. He wasn't invited.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19903
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Pam
Who went?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19904
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Toby
Me, Dan from Buffalo, Mark Chisholm, Jeff from Albany and Ryan, obviously. Made so many s'mores, that I finally had to say, 'No more s'mores, no more s'mores.'
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19905
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Toby
Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. It was this amazing, beautiful experience
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19906
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Michael
Hey, nobody cares. Nobody cares. I need that room at some point, so just, wrap it up.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19907
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Toby
Michael wasn't invited.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19908
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Michael
Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping, and you know what hypothetical means? Not real.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19909
-
Jim
Got it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19910
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Michael
So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, would you go?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19911
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Jim
Absolutely, yes.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19912
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Jim
When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19913
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Michael
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19914
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Jim
Yeah?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19915
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Michael
Oh, you wanna go today?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19916
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Jim
And I am always busy.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19917
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Jim
Oh, can't go today, 'cause I'm donating blood.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19918
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Michael
How often can you actually donate blood?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19919
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Jim
Is there a limit?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19920
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Michael
Your body only has a certain amount.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19921
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Jim
Well, is that it? Or?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19922
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Michael
Yeah, just this whole Toby, camping thing, uh, seems a little lame.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19923
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Jim
How so?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19924
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Michael
A bunch of guys, in a tent? Making s'mores?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19925
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Jim
What's that?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19926
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Michael
Hello, I'm Broken Mountain. You know, here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. I think you go camping by yourself---
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19927
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Jim
Right.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19928
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Michael
In the wilderness. It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy, or two guys, if your plans change.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19929
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Jim
Not gonna change.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19930
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Michael
I wanna do it myself. You know, I want to go and, and find out something about myself, I wanna get outta here. All the cliques, and the office politics. Fluorescent lights. Asbestos.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19931
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Jim
I thought we had that looked at.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19932
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Michael
I'm sick of it Jim. I'm sick of this place.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19933
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Michael
When Jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called 'Survivorman.' And, it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out in the middle of no where and just try not to die, try not to get eaten by an animal, or be overexposed.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19934
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Michael
OK, I will only need two things. Roll of duct tape and a knife.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19935
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Dwight
I'm on it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19936
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Michael
OK. Thirty minutes or less, please come back. Save the receipts. Hey, what...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19937
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Dwight
Let's see if any of these will work.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19938
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Michael
Hey, hey hey! Dwight.. Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19939
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Dwight
I keep various weaponries strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk. People say, 'Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the work place.' Well I say, 'It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.'
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19940
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Michael
Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow, and perhaps the next day.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19941
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Pam
Do you want me to ask where you're going?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19942
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Michael
No.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19943
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Pam
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19944
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Michael
Dwight will be driving me deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19945
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Pam
Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19946
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Michael
Where he will then leave me to either die or to survive. The choice is yours.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19947
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Jim
Hmm, no, the choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19948
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Michael
Yes, and I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19949
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Jim
OK, great.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19950
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Michael
This is a very personal, private experience in the wild, that I wish to share it with me, myself and I.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19951
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Jim
Yup.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19952
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Michael
When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19953
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Jim
That'd be great.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19954
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Dwight
Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let's put it this way: no, I do not.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19955
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Michael
This is what a true survivor man does. You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. You could only wear the clothes that you have on, and you could only use the stuff you have in your pockets. Now, in this case, this disaster is a serial killer. Creepy guy who's abducted me and is taking me out into the wilderness to leave me for dead.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19956
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Dwight
No, I would never leave you for dead. You would never escape.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19957
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Michael
Well, yes I would. And I would survive.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19958
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Dwight
I would make sure that you were dead.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19959
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Michael
Well...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19960
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Dwight
First, I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips so you could not be identified.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19961
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Michael
You...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19962
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Dwight
And they would call me the Overkill Killer.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19963
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Michael
You... you are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real. OK.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19964
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Dwight
What are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19965
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Michael
I am putting this on so I have no familiarity with my surroundings. Now this way, I can't retrace my steps. I don't know what streets we've been--- Ow! What are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19966
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Dwight
It would be better if you were unconscious.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19967
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Michael
No! Gosh! Dwight. Stop it, stop it! Stop it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19968
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Dwight
Do you want to do this right or not?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19969
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Michael
Just, please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19970
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Angela
Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19971
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Jim
Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19972
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Angela
Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19973
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Jim
I do remember, yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19974
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Angela
It's birthday month. Creed's is today. Oscar's is week after next. Meredith's is at the end of the month. Michael usually goes with red and white streamers...
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19975
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Jim
You know what, I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big shared party?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19976
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Angela
What?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19977
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Jim
There are thirteen people working in this office, so thirteen times a year Michael gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. There are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19978
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Michael
Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack! Not crack the drug.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19979
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Jim
And the other is something inappropriate. Or horrible. Or both. What else? He only sings the high harmony to 'Happy Birthday.' And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19980
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Michael
Happy Birthday!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19981
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Kelly
Ahhh!!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19982
-
Michael
Happy Birthday!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19983
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Oscar
Ahhh!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19984
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Michael
Happy Birthday!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19985
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Phyllis
Oh!
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19986
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Jim
So... I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19987
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Jim
We can just have one big fun party. Everybody's happy, nobody wastes their time.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19988
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Angela
I don't like it.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19989
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Pam
Wow! You're shaking things up a bit, huh?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19990
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Jim
It's a pretty good idea, don't you think?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19991
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Pam
Do you think it's a good idea?
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19992
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Jim
No... I think it's a great idea.
Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19993