"Local Ad" Quotes

Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 25, 2007.

269 quotes · page 1 of 3

Michael

Yeah! Everything! Oh it's all good, it's all good. Phyllis!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19301
Phyllis

Dancing babies!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19302
Michael

Dancing babies! I love it! I love it!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19303
Michael

We are making a commercial for Dunder Mifflin today. Our first ad ever. Corporate purchased some air time in local markets to spread the word about Dunder Mifflin Infinity and they are even sending up a professional ad company to help us make it later so... it's uh, not too shabby.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19304
Andy

Best ad ever. Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that... I am totally blanking. What is the thing?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19305
Jim

Nobody tell him!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19306
Andy

What? No, why?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19307
Jim

You got it, you're so close!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19308
Andy

Break me off a piece of that... huh huh huh... br- applesauce.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19309
Jim

Break me off a piece of that applesauce, I don't think...

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19310
Andy

Break me off a piece of that Chrysler car.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19311
Jim

Nope.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19312
Andy

Football cream. Grr!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19313
Michael

Okay, it's football cream. It's football cream. Alright! So, anybody else?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19314
Pam

I'm taking a computer animation class so I could try to do a logo.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19315
Michael

Look at that. Even the receptionist is getting in on the creativity. Very good, very good.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19316
Michael

Hello hello!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19317
Ad guy 1

Hey, how ya doin'?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19318
Michael

Michael Scott.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19319
Ad guy 2

Hey, Michael.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19320
Michael

Regional manager.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19321
Ad guy 2

Hey Michael, nice to meet you

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19322
Michael

Excited to talk ideas.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19323
Ad guy 1

Let's do it, man.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19324
Michael

You know, I want this to be cutting edge. I want it to be fast, quick cuts, you know, youthful, sort of a MTV on crack kind of thing.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19325
Ad guy 1

That sounds great.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19326
Michael

All right, good, well this is what we have to work with.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19327
Michael

I would like you to meet Andrew Bernard. The 'Nard Dog. Who let the 'Nard Dog out?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19328
Andy

Hoo hoo hoo-hoo!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19329
Michael

He gives the best back rubs in the office.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19330
Andy

It's true, I give a mean backrub. I also do good aromatherapy. Not! You just got 'Nard dogged!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19331
Michael

Now this gentleman right here is the key to our urban vibe.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19332
Stanley

Urban? I grew up in a small town. What about me seems urban to you?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19333
Michael

Stanley is hilarious. Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19334
Michael

These are our accountants. And as you can see they are very different sizes. What you might want to do is kind of a Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear thing. That might be kind of fun.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19335
Kevin

Mama Bear!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19336
Michael

Who else?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19337
Jim

I think it's great that the company's making a commercial because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers, or muffins, or mittens, or... And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19338
Jim

You playing that game again?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19339
Dwight

Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user virtual environment. It doesn't have points or scores, it doesn't have winners or losers.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19340
Jim

Oh it has losers.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19341
Dwight

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. In my Second Life I was also a paper salesman and I was also named Dwight. Absolutely everything was the same. Except I could fly.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19342
Michael

Little girl in a field holding a flower, we zoom back to find that she's in the desert and the field is an oasis. Zoom back further the desert is a sandbox in the world's largest resort hotel. Zoom back further the hotel is actually the playground for the world's largest prison. But we zoom back further---

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19343
Ad guy 1

Okay I can tell that your time is valuable---

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19344
Michael

Actually I don't get paid by the hour anymore, but thank you, I get paid by the year, so...

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19345
Ad guy 1

That all sounds really, really ambitious.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19346
Michael

Yeah, I know.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19347
Ad guy 1

Why don't we show you what we did with the Nashua branch?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19348
Michael

Mmm. Okay.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19349
Michael

That's what Nassau came up with? That sucks! Whoa.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19350
Ad guy 1

That's what we came up with.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19351
Michael

Well we can do better than that.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19352
Ad guy 2

Well the main part of the ad has to stay the same, actually.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19353
Ad guy 1

Yeah, it's the last five seconds where we have some leeway.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19354
Michael

The waving?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19355
Ad guy 1

Well, no, no. You don't have to be waving. That was just what they did. You guys can be clapping. Sitting. Standing outside, inside, whatever. This is where you really get to be creative.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19356
Andy

I need some advice. I've been spending a lot of time making out with Angela lately. But we've been necking, but only necking. Right? Not actually kissing, our mouths, just the neck on neck. It's just like rubbing slash nuzzling our necks together. It's hot, I'm not going to lie to you , but it's a little weird, but you seem like a guy with answers, so how do I fast track this to get to first base?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19357
Dwight

We cannot talk about this... because, someone might hear us.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19358
Andy

We'll use code names.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19359
Dwight

Angela can stay the same, but we'll change Andy to Dwight.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19360
Andy

That's not different enough.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19361
Dwight

Dwike?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19362
Receptionist

You have a call from Eddie Murphy.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19363
Ryan

Hello?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19364
Michael

Shrek! Shrek, I'm a donkey! I'm a donkey, Shrek! I'm just kidding. It's me. Hello Ry.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19365
Ryan

What?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19366
Michael

Okay, calm down. I have a small problem.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19367
Ryan

I told you not to call about small problems.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19368
Michael

Yeah, well when I call about big problems you don't like that either, so make up you mind, kiddo. Here is the deal, the ad guys that you sent are locking me in a creative box, and sort of ignoring my ideas.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19369
Ryan

That's good. They're creative, you're not.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19370
Michael

I'm creative, Ryan.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19371
Ryan

It's not part of your job, it's like, maybe you can cook but it doesn't mean you should start a restaurant.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19372
Michael

Well actually I can't cook, and I am starting a restaurant. Mike's Cereal Shack. I'm thinking we'll have as many varieties as you can buy in the store.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19373
Ryan

Okay, I'm not really interested in that right now. I'm delegating creativity to creative professionals. It's a different skills set. Look, I wasn't good at sales, right?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19374
Michael

Yeah!

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19375
Ryan

But I'm good at managing people who do sales .

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19376
Michael

Are you? I don't think you're doing such a good job here, suppressing ideas and creativity.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19377
Michael

All right, let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. And I was five, five years old. Couldn't even talk yet.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19378
Michael

Hey guys, um, you know what, we cannot shoot this ad today.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19379
Ad guy 2

Okay, when should we come back?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19380
Michael

How about never hundred hours, sir.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19381
Ad guy 2

We were sent here to help out.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19382
Ad guy 1

Okay I'm not going to argue with this guy. Let's go. Good luck dude.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19383
Michael

Hey thanks. Thank you.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19384
David Wallace

Michael, David Wallace. What is this about dismissing the ad people?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19385
Michael

Yeah, I'm glad you called. Ryan is being a little bitch again.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19386
Ryan

I'm on Michael.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19387
Michael

What's up my brotha? Listen, David, I would like to do this ad in house. I want to use only the creativity that we have right here in the office. And I will send it to you tomorrow morning, take a look at it, and if you do not think that it's ready to air, send the ad agency back down here, and we'll do it on my dime.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19388
David Wallace

This is weird.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19389
Michael

I'm willing to stake my entire reputation on it.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19390
David Wallace

Okay, I'll see it tomorrow.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19391
Michael

Okay. And thus, Michael Scott sealed his own destiny. In a good way.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19392
Michael

Has anyone ever come up to you and said, 'You're not creative'?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19393
Dwight

Yes.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19394
Michael

Well they're wrong. You are creative. You are damn creative. Each and every one of you. You are so much more creative than all of the other dry, boring morons that you work with.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19395
Jim

Who are you talking to, specifically?

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19396
Kevin

I kind of know what it's like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19397
Oscar

When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commercials. Then I realized I had a brain.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19398
Meredith

I'm excited about doing the ad, but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19399
Michael

We have three scenes to film, big scenes. We have a song to write. So let's get cracking. Kelly, I want you to do makeup. Oscar, I would like you to do costume design, obviously. Phyllis, I'd like you look around town and see if we have any celebrities in our local area.

Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19400