Michael

Hey. Ready? Come on, show me excited!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21745

Oscar

Yes.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21746

Michael

Yeah, I'm pretty excited too.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21747

Michael

Today I'm heading over to the job fair at Valley View High School, to find some new interns. Want to get some fresh blood. Um, euthanize this place.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21748

Darryl

Hey, are we doing this thing?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21749

Michael

Yup.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21750

Kelly

Oh my God, Darryl, you look like Barack Obama. Everybody I'm dating Barack Obama!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21751

Michael

Why are you dressed like that?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21752

Darryl

Like what?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21753

Michael

Like you're applying for a loan.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21754

Dwight

Maybe he's going to church. Or court.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21755

Darryl

Figured I look presentable. You? Went a different way.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21756

Pam

I think you look nice.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21757

Michael and Darryl

Thank you.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21758

Michael

Okay, here's what we're going to do: I'm going to instruct the kids about management and sales. Oscar will be in charge of accounting. Pam will be eye candy. No... uh, also, because that is your alma mater. Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse. We don't have to worry about internships with them, because they definitely ain't going to college.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21759

Darryl

What college did you go to Mike?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21760

Michael

Let's go!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21761

Jim

Today, I am meeting a potential client on the golf course, because Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan, he was the temp here. Yeah. And uh, it is not a good time for me to lose my job. Since I have some pretty big long term plans in my personal life with Pam, that I'd like her parents to be psyched about. So I am about to do something very bold at this job that I've never done before. Try.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21762

Phil Maguire

Whoa!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21763

Jim

Mr. Maguire, it's been a couple of years.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21764

Phil Maguire

Hey Jim, how are you, nice to see you man.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21765

Andy

Oh no! No, no-no-no-no! My grandfather would be spinning in his urn, if he knew that I was out here with a Dartmouth boy. You take that shirt off right now or I will take it off for you, sir. I am... totally and completely kidding! Andrew Bernard, Cornell '95.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21766

Phil Maguire

Phil Maguire, Dartmouth, '74

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21767

Andy

Oop, got some blisties.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21768

Phil Maguire

Yeah, you do.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21769

Andy

Hit about 1200 balls last night, in preparation for today, so hands are a little tender. It's actually not funny at all. It's incredibly painful.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21770

Phil

Let's make it interesting, say, uh, ten bucks a hole?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21771

Jim

Great!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21772

Kevin

What are we talking? Skins? Acey Duecy? Bingo bango bongo? Sandies, Barkies? Arnies, Wolf? What?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21773

Kevin

I'm gonna take this petty cash I got from Oscar, and turn it into next month's rent.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21774

Pam

So many memories in this old gym. Pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play volleyball, pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play basketball. Those were the days!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21775

Michael

A little over the top, don't you think?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21776

Darryl

Show them what you brought, Mike.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21777

Pam

Um, that's all we brought.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21778

Michael

This is all we need.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21779

Oscar

We'll see.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21780

Michael

Yes we will see Oscar, we will see, because a blank sheet of paper equals endless possibilities! Conceptual! All right! We. Are. Open for business! Hello!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21781

Kevin

Andy, you're up, let's go!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21782

Andy

Giddy up, let's do this.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21783

Andy

People assume I'm great at golf. But like everybody, I hated golf lessons when I was a kid. So, I used to hang out at the sailing club instead. Got my 'knot' on.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21784

Andy

Dammit!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21785

Meredith

Guys, do we have to stay all day?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21786

Phyllis

I mean, Michael's gone, can't we just go?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21787

Creed

Yeah, and I finished my work months ago!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21788

Dwight

Excuse me, people. It has come to my attention, some of you have forgotten, who is in charge here. When Michael is gone... Jim is in charge. When Jim is gone, Andy and I are in charge. When Andy is gone you answer to me. Okay? Excuse me where do you think you're going? Oh no, no, no. You're not leaving. No! Stanley, do not walk out that door! If you walk out that door, so help me, I will - He left. Last time I checked, the American workday ends at five pm. You will all stay at your desks until that time. Or, you will suffer the consequences.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21789

Phyllis

What consequences?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21790

Dwight

I will tell on you.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21791

Pam

There's some filing, restocking the supply shelves. Replacing the water jug, which nobody likes to do. Um, we... uh, eat a lot of cake!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21792

Justin

Cool.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21793

Pam

Yeah, and uh, you basically learn how an office runs.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21794

Michael

Hello. Hi. Can I talk to you for a sec? Excuse me.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21795

Pam

This is Michael, my boss. Justin.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21796

Michael

Hey, uh, remember what we talked about, in the car on the way up, 'only the best and the brightest.'

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21797

Pam

He's nice and he seems interested.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21798

Michael

He's totally wrong, Pam. Hey.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21799

Justin

Hi.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21800

Michael

How you doing? Listen, I don't think that a handsome, funny, smart, funny-looking kid like you, should limit himself. You could do whatever you want to do. You could be a classy janitor, or a cashier with dignity, or a... migraine worker. Maybe for you, paper should be more of a hobby.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21801

Justin

Sorry for wasting your time.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21802

Michael

Oh, no problem. And he signed! He put his name on the piece of - okay, that was supposed to be a blank canvas on which to put their hopes and dreams. And he just, made it into a stupid piece of paper. We need another one, immediately.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21803

Darryl

Yeah, the booth is lame without it.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21804

Pam

I only brought the one.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21805

Michael

Are you mental?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21806

Pam

Michael, do you remember, you specifically told me to only bring one sheet of paper? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. And I said, 'Are you sure Michael?' And you said 'Pam! Pam! Pam!' And then you sneezed in my tea, and then you said, 'Don't worry, it's just allergies.' Do you remember that?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21807

Michael

I... don't.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21808

Pam

Okay. I'll go look for another one.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21809

Michael

And that. Is why. I need a smart intern.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21810

Jim

Hey, so how's the direct mail business going?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21811

Phil

I can't complain, people love their junk mail.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21812

Jim

Now are you getting all your paper from PPC? Or-

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21813

Phil

You know what Jim? I'm not really looking to change things up right now, I just came out here to get out of the office for a little bit, so why don't we just play, okay?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21814

Jim

Absolutely, will do.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21815

Jim

So I guess I'll just... work on my short game.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21816

Michael

Hello there.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21817

Kid

What is this company?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21818

Michael

Well it's funny that you should ask, because it's really more than a company...

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21819

Oscar

Dunder Mifflin paper.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21820

Kid

Thanks.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21821

Michael

Dammit, Oscar!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21822

Michael

Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth, but uh, kids are very wary about being 'lured' these days. Thank you Dateline!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21823

Dwight

Thank you.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21824

Angela

Extension 128.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21825

Creed

Hiya Pumpkin, it's Creed.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21826

Creed

Say, we're gonna ditch this bitch. You in?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21827

Angela

No.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21828

Creed

Are you out? Pumpkin's out, let's go gang!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21829

Pam

My old art room. Oh, maybe it's still here! No. No they must have taken it down. Never mind.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21830

Michael

What do you want?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21831

Dwight

Michael, I know you're swamped. I just thought you should know that everyone in the office has left, except for Angela and I. Do not worry though, I have taken down their names, and I have docked them a personal day.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21832

Michael

Who cares? I'm not there, Jim's not there, why should they have to be there?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21833

Dwight

So... what else is up? Mich-

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21834

Michael

Thank you! What, what is this?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21835

Pam

A piece of paper.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21836

Michael

This isn't Dunder Mifflin paper. Some sort of Pendleton crap.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21837

Pam

Well I think they'll get the spirit of it.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21838

Michael

Pam-Pam-Pam-Pam-PamPamPamPam! We're dying here. I want you to go back to the office and I want you to get the real stuff. I want you to get ultra white card stock.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21839

Pam

Are you serious?

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21840

Michael

Yes. And don't call me Shirley.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21841

Pam

Okay.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21842

Phil

Oh! Ah, dammit!

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21843

Jim

You know, you can just pick it up, take the triple bogey.

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21844

"Job Fair" Quotes