"Did I Stutter?" Quotes

Every line from The Office season 4, episode 12, in script order. First aired May 1, 2008.

308 quotes · page 1 of 4

  1. Michael

    Everybody! Everybody! Listen up, I need your ideas, now! Ideas please, right now! Go! Go! Come on!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21437

  2. Pam

    Michael we don't know what you're talking about...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21438

  3. Michael

    Wet cement, outside. It's drying fast, come on. This is a lifelong dream. What do I write? What do I write?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21439

  4. Kevin

    Michael you could put your initials in it.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21440

  5. Michael

    M.G.S.? No. Some idiot named Mark Greg Sputnik will claim credit for it. I don't...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21441

  6. Jim

    Yeah that's true.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21442

  7. Michael

    Once in a lifetime opportunity people! Come on, here we go!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21443

  8. Phyllis

    We-- we--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21444

  9. Michael

    Here we go!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21445

  10. Phyllis

    Well--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21446

  11. Michael

    Let's, yes?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21447

  12. Phyllis

    When I was a little girl...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21448

  13. Michael

    Okay... Okay, do it! Go on! Great! Let's hear it!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21449

  14. Phyllis

    We-we found some wet cement in the park...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21450

  15. Michael

    It's drying, it's drying...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21451

  16. Phyllis

    In our neighborhood...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21452

  17. Michael

    Alright, hablbelah, come on, Phyl!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21453

  18. Phyllis

    What did we write?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21454

  19. Michael

    Ahh come on!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21455

  20. Andy

    Here it is, you should draw a picture...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21456

  21. Michael

    No!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21457

  22. Andy

    Cause that says, that says...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21458

  23. Michael

    No!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21459

  24. Andy

    So much more than words...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21460

  25. Michael

    No!! Come on, gimme something good!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21461

  26. Kelly

    Ok, ok, I was watching E!, and I saw Will Smith outside the Chinese Theater, and omhmygod, he looked so good...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21462

  27. Michael

    Pam, translate.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21463

  28. Pam

    She's talking about the handprints that celebrities make in the cement.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21464

  29. Michael

    I love it!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21465

  30. Jim

    If you were a real star you would put your face in it.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21466

  31. Michael

    I love it more!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21467

  32. Oscar

    Michael that doesn't seem... safe.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21468

  33. Michael

    I... love it!! Haha, come on!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21469

  34. Dwight

    Come on!

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21470

  35. Jim

    We are here today, not to immortalize a man, but an idea... Maybe the idea of a man.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21471

  36. Michael

    Hurry, please.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21472

  37. Jim

    Greatness is only skin deep, some people say...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21473

  38. Dwight

    Can you breathe?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21474

  39. Jim

    Well that's not true. Other people believe it's deeper inside...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21475

  40. Dwight

    Hold your breath.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21476

  41. Jim

    And in this case...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21477

  42. Dwight

    Ready?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21478

  43. Jim

    That's also not true.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21479

  44. Dwight

    And... go. Force it in as deep as you can.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21480

  45. Michael

    That's what she said.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21481

  46. Michael

    Today is a very special day for me. And it's really not about me, it's about my grandkids, it's about my great grandkids... I can come back here when I'm 100, and I can find that piece of cement and say, 'That's me. Look kids, your daddy left that face hole...' I dunno, it's a good feeling.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21482

  47. Andy

    Okay, adjective...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21483

  48. Angela

    Um... tall. No, no, uh, nice.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21484

  49. Andy

    Good one. Okay, you ready?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21485

  50. Angela

    Mmhmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21486

  51. Andy

    The tall man entered the nice building to visit a very nice man. 'Sit down, Mr. Smith, can I interest you in any good... cat food?'

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21487

  52. Angela

    It's a man eating cat food.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21488

  53. Andy

    What about a cat eating man food?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21489

  54. Dwight

    Andy and Angela seem very happy... I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21490

  55. Pam

    Um... yeah, I slept over at a, uh, friend's house and, I forgot my contact solution, so... I had to wear my backup glasses... Shut up.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21491

  56. Michael

    All right, everybody... Oh my God, Pam, those make you look so ugly. Um, Pam, in order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21492

  57. Pam

    I don't have my contacts...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21493

  58. Michael

    Ub, dub dah, don't need, I can't even hear you. It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist. Um, everybody, we're going to have a little brainstorming session in the conference room.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21494

  59. Michael

    Ener-gize...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21495

  60. Jim

    You know what would energize me? If you, Pamela Morgan Beesly...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21496

  61. Pam

    Don't, don't--

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21497

  62. Jim

    Would...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21498

  63. Pam

    If you propose to me during a Michael meeting, I will say no.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21499

  64. Jim

    Well, it's too late, because I'm proposing... that you get me a cup of coffee, which would energize me greatly, and make me the happiest man in the world.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21500

  65. Michael

    Everybody, so how are we going to energize our office? I mean, I haven't done anything since Christmas. Pam, clearly, has just given up trying. So what we need to do is we get things going, we need to get percolating a little bit. Anybody have any ideas of what we could do. Any suggestions? Yes, Andy?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21501

  66. Andy

    What if we changed our outgoing answering machine message, so it just had a little more... zing, and a little more pep?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21502

  67. Michael

    Zing and pep, see that's those are the kind of words we're looking for. Yes, Jim?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21503

  68. Jim

    What about if we did an even newer voicemail message that had even more zing and pep?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21504

  69. Michael

    Now we're cooking. I like this. Maybe a whole theme, like a rap. A rap rhyme...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21505

  70. Jim

    An urban thing...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21506

  71. Michael

    An urban, yeah, Stanley? You wanna help us out with that?... Stanley, earth to Stanley...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21507

  72. Stanley

    Not me.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21508

  73. Michael

    Yes you. Come on, Stanley, put your little game down and join the group.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21509

  74. Stanley

    No.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21510

  75. Michael

    Stanley, we're havin a little...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21511

  76. Stanley

    Leave me alone, dammit.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21512

  77. Michael

    We're havin a little brainstorm session...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21513

  78. Stanley

    DID I STUTTER?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21514

  79. Michael

    ...Good, this is good. I'm going to grab a glass of water.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21515

  80. Toby

    Can I talk to you a second?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21516

  81. Michael

    Ugh, what?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21517

  82. Toby

    Uh, I really think that you need to address what happened with Stanley this morning...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21518

  83. Michael

    What are you blabbering about? Nothing happened.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21519

  84. Toby

    Well, you know, Stanley was openly insubordinate.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21520

  85. Michael

    That? In the conference room?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21521

  86. Toby

    Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21522

  87. Michael

    We were joshin around, the two of us, and he said 'did I stutter,' and I said 'wha-wha-wha-wha-what, dawg?' It was joking, Toby, alright?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21523

  88. Toby

    He didn't seem like he was joking.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21524

  89. Michael

    Well you don't get it, because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man, and you're... you. If you had any friends, you would understand. Friends joke with one another: 'Hey um, you're poor.' 'Well hey, you're mama's dead.' That's what friends do. It's... you're so white.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21525

  90. Toby

    Alright... Well, um, if you really believe that Stanley was joking...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21526

  91. Michael

    Mmhmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21527

  92. Toby

    Um, why don't you go ask him that?

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21528

  93. Michael

    Okay, I will... I'm not feeling very well right now though. My stomach hurts, so I may be going home early today, but...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21529

  94. Toby

    You know, Michael, sometimes my daughter's stomach hurts when there's a mean girl at school...

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21530

  95. Michael

    Well sometimes my stomach hurts when you come into my office, so it's probably psychological.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21531

  96. Andy

    You meet a lot of ladies driving an Xterra, because you pull up to a stoplight, and look over and there's an Xterra next to you. They're always driven by chicks, so there's your icebreaker.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21532

  97. Dwight

    Unh! Scratch.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21533

  98. Andy

    That's a racing stripe.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21534

  99. Dwight

    Uh, bumper's sagging.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21535

  100. Andy

    Mmm, I doubt that very much.

    Season 4 · Episode 12 · Line 21536