Pam

W.B. Jones is renovating their offices and their construction crews are taking up some of the parking spaces we used to get.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20799

Jim

So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20800

Pam

Which just means we get to see more of our lovely street. Tell them what we saw today Jim.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20801

Jim

Oh today, we saw a junk yard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20802

Pam

Nature.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20803

Oscar

Been here nine years. Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to park half a mile away.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20804

Andy

I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20805

Kevin

I will quit. As God as my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20806

Pam

Some of us like the walk more than others.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20807

Kevin

Hurts like hell.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20808

Pam

Did you pick a new chair? It's been awhile.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20809

Michael

Pam, when I first opened this catalog, I thought I was just going to be picking out a chair.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20810

Pam

But instead, you found something to distract you from ever picking out a chair.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20811

Pam

Michael started the process of selecting a new chair about three weeks ago. And normally I wouldn't care, but he promised me his old one. It's way better. It's one of these. I really want it.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20812

Michael

Have you ever seen this woman?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20813

Pam

Her?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20814

Michael

Hmm...

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20815

Pam

The one in the really great mesh black high-back swivel chair?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20816

Michael

Look at her smile. Those eyes, look at her eyes. She's got - I don't know what it is actually, she dresses like a professional and yet you know there is a side of her that could just curl up on a couch.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20817

Pam

Or in a great chair.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20818

Michael

Oh, yeah, maybe, but remember after my dinner party when I said that I was swearing off women?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20819

Pam

I definitely remember your dinner party.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20820

Michael

I think what I meant was that I was completely swearing off one woman. Jan. I think that fate put this catalog in my hands.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20821

Pam

Actually, I put the catalog in your hands 'cause you have to pick out a new chair.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20822

Michael

What is it like being single? I like it. I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I'm optimistic because every day I get a little more desperate and desperate situations yield the quickest results.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20823

Michael

Ladies and gentleman, would you please open your supply catalogs and kindly turn to page 85.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20824

Creed

Yo, is this his new chair?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20825

Pam

No, he hasn't picked one yet.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20826

Creed

Daat!

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20827

Creed

When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20828

Michael

I am ready to start dating again. Getting back on the market. So, FYI, for those of you who are thinking about fixing me up with any of your friends, use the woman on page 85 as a template. That will be all.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20829

Andy

I left my cell phone in my car.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20830

Phyllis

Call us when you get there so we know you're OK.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20831

Michael

Listen man, I am completely over Jan, so, would you set me up?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20832

Kevin

If I had someone to set you up with Michael, then I'd take her for myself.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20833

Michael

I thought that you were engaged?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20834

Kevin

Nope. Stacy broke up with me.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20835

Michael

Whaaaat? God, that's terrible man. Eghh, she's crazy. Umm, are you still on good terms with any of her friends?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20836

Kevin

Not anymore.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20837

Michael

Oh...

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20838

Kevin

It's a bitter situation.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20839

Michael

Yeah... ugh. She's... you don't deserve her. Alright.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20840

Michael

Oh hello Oscar Mayer Weiner lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl type friends that trust you implicitly because they know you'd never touch 'em, because of your condition. Umm...

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20841

Phyllis

Michael?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20842

Michael

What?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20843

Phyllis

I have a friend who's single.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20844

Michael

Oh.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20845

Phyllis

Sandy. She's gorgeous and she's got a feisty personality, too.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20846

Michael

Hmm, I see, feisty. So she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20847

Phyllis

Umm, no, she's a professional softball player.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20848

Michael

Oooo. Catcher or in field?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20849

Phyllis

Umm I don't know Michael.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20850

Michael

Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer? Could we share a row boat? Could, could a row boat support her?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20851

Phyllis

What are you asking?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20852

Michael

I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average size row boat support her without capsizing? It bothers me that you're not answering the question.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20853

Phyllis

No, alright no, she can't fit in a row boat.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20854

Michael

Damn it, I knew it! I knew it Phyllis! OK!

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20855

Michael

What is wrong with these people? I would do anything for them and they're just hanging me out to dry.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20856

Michael

Dating shouldn't be hard for somebody like me, but it is and you know why? Because nobody here is willing to help me. Nothing would ever get done in this office without a formal request, would it? Well, fine. Here goes.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20857

Angela

I don't think that this is---

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20858

Michael

Well, now OK, I know that this is probably not appropriate, but I need help. Because I want to play ball with my kids before I get too old. And before that happens I need to get laid. And before that happens I need to be in love. And I don't wanna hear 'Ahnnn... I can't help elhh la la.' No. No. I'm a catch and I am not going to be the one who got away. So, this is what we're going to do. Dwight is going to hand out index cards and I want you all to write down the name of an eligible woman for me to date by the end of the day. No, by the end of the hour or you are fired.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20859

Dwight

Write legibly people.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20860

Andy

Because of the construction at W.B. Jones, half of us have to park in the satellite lot.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20861

Michael

Hmm..

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20862

Andy

It's like a ten minute walk.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20863

Kevin

No, thirty.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20864

Michael

Well, look, I am in an assigned parking place in front, so... Alright, alright, alright, umm let me try to think about what it would be like to not have one. OK, yes that would be bad.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20865

Kevin

Yes.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20866

Andy

Yes.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20867

Michael

That would be bad.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20868

Andy

OK.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20869

Kevin

Nice.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20870

Andy

...So help us out.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20871

Michael

Wish I could, but I can't. Well can, but won't. Should, maybe, but shorn't.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20872

Kevin

Michael, please he--

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20873

Michael

What part of shorn't don't you understand, Kevin? Look I could probably handle it, yes, but I think it would be a good exercise for you guys to do it yourselves.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20874

Andy

We won't let you down.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20875

Michael

Oh you can't because I don't care. Listen, don't forget to fill out those cards. My love cards.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20876

Stanley

There's nobody I hate enough to write her name on this card.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20877

Phyllis

Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend anyway, he can just deal with it.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20878

Pam

Who are you putting down?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20879

Jim

Oh, you don't know her.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20880

Pam

Who is it?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20881

Jim

Your mom.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20882

Pam

Yeah, whatever. Give it to me. Give it to me.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20883

Michael

Ok, Wendy. Hot and juicy red head. Give this a try.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20884

Wendy's phone operator

Wendy's.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20885

Michael

Hello Wendy, this is Kevin's friend, Michael.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20886

Wendy's phone operator

This isn't Wendy.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20887

Michael

Oh, I'm sorry, could you put her on please?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20888

Wendy's phone operator

Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20889

Michael

Damn it Kevin. OK, umm, could I just have a frosty and a baked potato please?

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20890

Wendy's phone operator

You have to come to the restaurant to order food.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20891

Michael

Well, I'll send somebody to come pick it up. Just have it ready.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20892

Wendy's phone operator

It's ready now.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20893

Michael

Well put it aside. Umm... yeah.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20894

Dwight

OK, I have collected the rest of the ladies.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20895

Michael

Good. Good because this batch was awful. Umm... this one says chair model...

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20896

Dwight

I wrote that. Michael, you shouldn't have to settle. This is my pledge to you. I will find her and I will bring her to you and as God as my witness, she shall bear your fruit.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20897

Michael

That sounds good. Go get her. Wa-Wait, wait, wait, wait. First, go to Wendy's, get my food. Come back and then go.

Season 4 · Episode 10 · Line 20898

"Chair Model" Quotes