Every line from The Office season 3, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 2, 2006.
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Kelly
Here you go.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10913
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Michael
Nice dress, Ryan.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10914
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Kelly
It's not a dress. It's a kurta.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10915
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Michael
OK.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10916
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Michael
Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. What is Diwali, you may ask? Well, to have Kelly explain it it's ada blah blah blah, it's so super fun and it's going to be great. Lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later you find out that is essentially a Hindu Halloween.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10917
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Kelly
You look so handsome.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10918
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Pam
Really you do. I love the material.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10919
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Kelly
I know.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10920
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Michael
How come you didn't get me one?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10921
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Kelly
I...
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10922
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Phyllis
Ok, so, between Meredith's Mini-van and if I borrow Bob's Yukon that should fit about twelve people.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10923
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Pam
I actually might not go. Feeling kind of tired.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10924
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Meredith
Do you want to make Appletini's and watch 'Sex and the City' at my place?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10925
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Pam
Oh, I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10926
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Kelly
I don't get why you won't go. Did I do something wrong? I mean, I thought we were really close friends.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10927
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Pam
I just feel kind of tired, you know.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10928
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Dwight
Maybe you've got mono.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10929
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Pam
Maybe. I just ...I don't really have anyone to go with.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10930
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Kelly
Well, go with Dwight. He's single, too. Right?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10931
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Dwight
Yeah, totally single. Hundred percent available.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10932
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Kevin
Are you guys going to this Indian thing tonight?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10933
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Roy
I don't know. Who's... uh, who's going?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10934
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Kevin
Oooh. Do you mean like, is Pam going?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10935
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Angela
Don't go. They eat monkey brains.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10936
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Michael
Hey. Hey. Stop that. That is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do... sign me up... because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10937
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Michael
It's important that this company celebrates its diversity. And you know what, Stanley? Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10938
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Stanley
I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10939
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Michael
Wha? Really? You should! It's fun.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10940
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Michael
I love the people here. And if there was one thing I di... don't really care for is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10941
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Michael
Diwali is a very important holiday for the Hindus. But, frankly, I'm a little appalled that none of you know very much about Indian culture. So, without further ado, Kelly you are on.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10942
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Kelly
Um... Diwali is awesome... and there's food... and there's going to be dancing... and... Oh! I got the raddest outfit. It has, um...
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10943
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Michael
Kelly?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10944
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Kelly
Sparkles...
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10945
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Michael
Um... why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10946
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Kelly
Oh, um... I don't know. It's really old, I think.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10947
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Angela
How many gods do you have?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10948
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Kelly
Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10949
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Angela
And that blue busty gal? What's her story?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10950
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Kevin
She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10951
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Dwight
Pam wishes. Kelly, I'll take this one. Diwali is a Celebration of the Coronation of the God-King Rama. After his epic battle with Ravana, the Demon King of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil...
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10952
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Michael
All right, all right, all right, all right. This isn't 'Lord of the Rings'.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10953
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Jim
Sorry.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10954
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Jim
I started biking into work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape... helps the environment. And now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10955
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Karen
Nice basket.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10956
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Jim
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10957
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Michael
Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million and that's true, but it's also not true. Because, frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians. Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar. He is a Nobel prize-winning physicist. Impressive. Apu from the Simpsons. Hilarious. Indian. M. Night Shyamalan. 'The Village', 'Unbreakable', 'Sixth Sense', 'Sig... '
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10958
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Dwight
I see dead people.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10959
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Michael
Okay. Spoiler... alert.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10960
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Dwight
He was dead the whole time.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10961
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Michael
Just stop it. What's the... oh, whoa! Where did that come from?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10962
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Tony
Karen, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again. I need your skinny, little arms.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10963
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Karen
Oh. Did you shake it?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10964
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Tony
Yeah, I shook it, I shook it.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10965
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Andy
We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10966
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Jim
Scuse me?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10967
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Andy
Roller-coastery friendship. Hot. Cold. On again. Off again. Sexual tension filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10968
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Jim
Wow.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10969
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Andy
From 'Cheers'.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10970
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Jim
Yup.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10971
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Michael
And another thing about the Indian people... they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who's seen that before?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10972
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Creed
I have. That's the 'Union of the Monkey'.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10973
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Meredith
Oh, that's what they call it.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10974
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Kevin
This is the best meeting we've ever had.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10975
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Michael
Thank you, Kevin.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10976
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Angela
I find this incredibly offensive.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10977
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Michael
Well, I find it beautiful.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10978
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Angela
Well, whatever Kelly wants to do in her own house is fine but we shouldn't all be subjected to it.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10979
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Michael
No...
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10980
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Toby
Actually, she's right. This isn't appropriate. Why don't I take these.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10981
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Michael
No, You're not going to collect them.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10982
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Toby
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10983
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Michael
No. This is delightful, charming culture.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10984
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Michael
My Indian Culture Seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex. People... everybody does it. I'm doing it... with Carol! Probably tonight.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10985
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Josh
All right. Think you guys should be all set. Oh, here's the corporate card for dinner.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10986
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Karen
Thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10987
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Josh
And Karen? Let's keep it to twenty dollars a person this time.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10988
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Karen
Got it.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10989
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Jim
Once a quarter, the sales staff at this branch has to stay late to do order form consolidation... which, amazingly, is even less interesting than it sounds.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10990
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Andy
You guys ready to party?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10991
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Jim
What's that?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10992
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Andy
I said are you ready TO PARTY!
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10993
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Phyllis
Isn't this fun? Not wearing shoes?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10994
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Angela
I wish some of us still had our shoes on.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10995
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Kevin
Stop it. It's a disease! I've told you.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10996
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Carol
I thought you said this was a costume party!
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10997
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Michael
What does that look like to you?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10998
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Carol
An Indian woman in a sari.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10999
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Michael
No one's even going to notice.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11000
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Kevin
Nice outfit.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11001
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Michael
Hey, Kevin. It's a costume. Why don't you just cool it, okay? Carol? Carol.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11002
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Michael
I'll have one of those as well. Thank you very much. Now these are limes, lemons, onions...
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11003
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Angela
I'm a vegetarian. What can I eat?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11004
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Server
It's all vegetarian.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11005
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Angela
I'll just have some bread. You used your hands.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11006
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Michael
Oh, yuck.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11007
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Carol
What? Too spicy?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11008
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Michael
No. These s'mores are disgusting.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11009
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Carol
They're not s'mores. They're samosas.
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11010
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Michael
Do you think they have any s'mores?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11011
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Michael
All they are is chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow. How difficult would that have been?
Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 11012