Every line from The Office season 3, episode 14, in script order. First aired February 1, 2007.
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Elizabeth
You want me to answer phones with my clothes on.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13768
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Dwight
We hired you for three hours work and we're going to get it.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13769
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Elizabeth
Oh I love your poster.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13770
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Angela
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13771
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Kevin
[Mouths 'hi' at the stripper]
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13772
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Ben Franklin
You know I invented electricity.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13773
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Pam
I know.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13774
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Ben Franklin
Well I'm sensing a little electricity right here.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13775
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Pam
Didn't Ben Franklin have syphilis?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13776
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Ben Franklin
Yes, but I don't. My name is Gordon.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13777
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Pam
Ohhh.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13778
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Michael
On one hand I want to be honest with Jan and tell her the truth but on the other hand I'm afraid she's going to dump me.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13779
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Ben Franklin
You know Michael, I fathered an illegitimate son.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13780
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Michael
Really.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13781
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Ben Franklin
But I kept all this from my wife Deborah. These things only serve to upset the women. They are the gentler sex.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13782
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Michael
Well, Ben Franklin, you're really kind of a sleezebag.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13783
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Michael
Stripper? Could I ask you a question about women? Um, should I tell my girlfriend that you danced up on me?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13784
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Elizabeth
Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13785
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Michael
Wow. Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13786
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Dwight
Care for a piece of chocolate?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13787
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Ben Franklin
Chocolate! Where did you acquire it? That is a delicacy in the Amazon but it has not yet been imported to the United States.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13788
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Dwight
Who is the king of Austria?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13789
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Ben Franklin
Joseph the 2nd.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13790
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Dwight
Who is the king of Prussia?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13791
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Ben Franklin
Fredrick Wilhelm the 3rd.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13792
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Dwight
Who is the king of England?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13793
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Ben Franklin
Why the tyrant King George, of course!
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13794
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Dwight
I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13795
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Jan
Michael, I left a meeting. What is so urgent? Are you, are you okay?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13796
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Michael
Not really, look I don't know how to say this so I just will.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13797
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Jan
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13798
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Michael
I went to a bachelor party and things got a little out of hand.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13799
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Jan
Uh when, when did, when last night?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13800
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Michael
No, today at work.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13801
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Jan
You went to a bachelor party at work?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13802
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Michael
Yes. I kind of arranged it.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13803
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Kelly
Well I don't even think the stripper was that hot. Do you guys think she was hot?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13804
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Ryan
Kelly don't do this.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13805
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Kelly
Do what? I just asked you a question.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13806
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Ryan
You know what you're doing.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13807
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Kelly
Anyway, do you know who was totally flirting with Ben Franklin? Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13808
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Jim
Really? Looks like I hired the right guy. I'm glad. Any real potential there Beesley?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13809
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Pam
Yeah, right. God, I need a boyfriend. You know Ryan I'm totally ready to be set up with one of your business school friends. Whenever.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13810
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Ryan
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13811
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Elizabeth
Oh my God, I would get so fat if I worked here.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13812
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Pam
Yeah? I lose my appetite all the time.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13813
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Elizabeth
You could strip you know.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13814
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Pam
Thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13815
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Michael
So you don't want to end our relationship?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13816
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Jan
I'm closer to firing you.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13817
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Michael
That is so sweet. You are the best GD girlfriend in the world. Do you know that?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13818
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Jan
I'll talk to you later.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13819
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Michael
You are. You are.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13820
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Michael
So you know who turned out to be kind of a creep? Ben Franklin. And Elizabeth the stripper gave me great advice. Which rhymed. Really makes you wonder how Ben Franklin can become president, but someone like Elizabeth can't.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13821
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Dwight
Are you near sighted or far sighted?
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13822
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Ben Franklin
Both. That's why I invented the bifocal.
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13823
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Dwight
GAH!!!
Season 3 · Episode 14 · Line 13824