Every line from The Office season 2, episode 19, in script order. First aired March 30, 2006.
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Jim
You... owe me.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8403
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Michael
Excuse me, everyone. Attention please. Kevin, we're going to take you to a very special place, a place that will make you happy, and a place that is far, far away from the evil sun.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8404
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Stanley
Is this trip related in any way to your... birthday?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8405
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Michael
How dare you sir. You are gross.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8406
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Michael
That should not be there.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8407
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Dwight
I'll get someone to take it down.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8408
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Michael
No, it's alright. It's already up. Just leave it. Where's Kevin? Come on! Let's get our skate on!
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8409
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Kelly
Don't be scared! You're good! You're good!
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8410
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Ryan
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8411
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Jim
Think you can let go?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8412
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Pam
No.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8413
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Jim
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8414
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Dwight
YEAH!
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8415
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Pam
Who is that?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8416
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Jim
Is that Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8417
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Michael
Yeah, I've been pretty much skating my whole life. I thought about playing in the NHL, but, you're on the road so much. You got no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8418
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Pam
I got it.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8419
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Michael
Hey Pam, all this stuff with Kevin... um, it's pretty scary. And I'm thinking that uh, next time you're in the shower, you should check yourself out. You know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking time bags. Alright? Think about it.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8420
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Jim
...It's something to think about.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8421
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Kevin
I can't relax about it, you know?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8422
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Michael
Kevin. You heard anything yet?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8423
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Kevin
No, not yet.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8424
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Michael
Okay. Well. Live strong.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8425
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Kevin
Okay, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8426
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Michael
Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8427
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Carol
Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8428
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Michael
Yeah. Carol? She sold me my condo! Hey! What, is this place on the market? Or...
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8429
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Carol
Uhh, no, I... don't just sell real estate. Uh, my daughter has a skating lesson.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8430
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Michael
Oh, these... all your kids?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8431
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Carol
No just the front two.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8432
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Michael
Oh, hey guys. Whats up? You wanna go for a ride? Is that okay?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8433
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Carol
Sure.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8434
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Michael
Cool. Alright. Grab on. Here we go. Ready? Hang on tight. Alright. We are moving. We are reaaallly mooovin' now!
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8435
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Michael
Push. Good! That's great. You got it. Excuse me.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8436
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Kevin
Hello? Yeah okay. Alright. Okay, I will, thanks. It was negative.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8437
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Michael
Oh... God... God! We're gonna beat this, okay? We're gonna... come here.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8438
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Michael
Well, apparently in the medicine community, negative means good. Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community, that would... be... chaos.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8439
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Kevin
This is awesome. Thanks, you guys.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8440
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Michael
Okay, who's this from? Wowwwee, look at that! Jersey!
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8441
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Dwight
Turn it around. Turn it around.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8442
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Michael
Cool. Ohh. Great. From Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8443
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Dwight
Number one!!
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8444
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Michael
Thank you... Dwight. That's great. Thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8445
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Pam
Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8446
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8447
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Pam
This is from all of us.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8448
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Michael
Oh! You didn't need to do that. ...Nightswept. This is... really amazing. Thank you. I love it.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8449
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Pam
Michael's birthday was actually pretty cool. It was a good day. I don't know... It was a good day.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8450
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Jim
Michael's birthday. It's pretty fun to watch, actually. He gets very excited, and then he eats a lot of cake. And then he runs around the office. Then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. And then he falls asleep. And that's when we get our work done.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8451
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Dwight
Let's get the party started.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8452
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Michael
That's not how I taught you, right? My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lump Check it out
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8453
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Dwight
Michael's birthday is hard for me because he gets very excited. But he's also under a lot of pressure, which builds up until he's ready to explode. As his right-hand man, it's my job to release that pressure so that he can enjoy himself, if only for a moment.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8454
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Michael
Okay, here's the thing about bosses and employees. A good boss will say, 'Hey, it's my birthday. Celebrate me.' A great boss will say, 'Hey, it's my birthday. Celebrate yourselves, because you are the ones who made me great, and I will acknowledge your contributions with donuts.'
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8455
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Michael
Good. You know, Ryan, you didn't have to get me a present.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8456
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Ryan
I won't.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8457
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Michael
Good. Great.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8458
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Ryan
Okay, good. I think I'm gonna go.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8459
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Michael
No, I think you're gonna stay.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8460
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Michael
On my 20th birthday, my supposed best friend, Sam Ambrose, ditched me for his twin sister's Sweet Sixteen party. And that was my worst birthday. Until today.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8461
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Kevin
Can you please stop staring at me?
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8462
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Dwight
To think that a man's skin could turn on him. It's brilliant, 'cause you'd never expect it. Most people think of their skin as an ally. Makes me rethink having skin at all.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8463
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Michael
Mmm-hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8464
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Ryan
Hey. I got the information.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8465
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Michael
Oh, good. Okay. Don't tell me, tell them.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8466
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Ryan
'The survival rate for localized melanoma is 98%.'
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8467
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Michael
Oh, my God. That's a piece of cake. That's a piece of cake. Oh, 2%. Jeez, that's good.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8468
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Ryan
'There was 7,800 deaths from melanoma in 2005.'
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8469
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Michael
Out of, like, 18 billion Americans, so, no worry.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8470
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Ryan
For localized melanoma, the five-year survival rate is 98%. The survival rates for regional and...'
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8471
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Michael
Those were probably misdiagnosed. I mean, anybody with a zit goes in and says, 'I have cancer.'
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8472
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Ryan
The skin is the largest organ of the body.'
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8473
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Michael
Untrue. The heart is bigger than the skin. If you stretched the heart out, it would cover more than the entire body.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8474
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Angela
I'm not afraid of dying. I know where I'm going. But if I were Kevin, I might be terrified. Gluttony.
Season 2 · Episode 19 · Line 8475