Jan

So, I'm happy to be here. It's very nice to see all of you. You're all looking well.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7053

Pam

Today's a 'women in the workplace' thing. Jan's coming in from Corporate to talk to all the women about... um... I don't really know what. But Michael's not allowed in. She said that about five times.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7054

Jan

Women today, though we have the same options as men, we often face a very different set of obstacles in getting there. So...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7055

Michael

Hey, what's going on?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7056

Jan

Michael... I thought we agreed you wouldn't be here.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7057

Michael

Yeah... I... You know what... I... I... I just thought about it. I just have a few things I want to say.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7058

Jan

What are you doing?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7059

Michael

Hold... Just hear me out. What is more important than Quality? E-Quality. Now studies show that today's woman, the Ally McBeal woman, as I call her, is at a crossroads...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7060

Jan

Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7061

Michael

No, just uh... you have come a long way, baby. But I just... just want to keep it within reason.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7062

Jan

Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7063

Michael

They did this up in Albany...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7064

Jan

You are not allowed in this session.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7065

Michael

And they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room which is disgusting so...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7066

Jan

Now you're really not allowed in this session.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7067

Michael

Well, I'm their boss, so I feel like...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7068

Jan

I'm your boss.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7069

Michael

Anybody want any coffee or...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7070

Jan

We're fine, Michael. We just need you to leave, please.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7071

Michael

Women in the workplace... yeah, translation 'I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls.' Oh! Sorry. 'Women of the workplace.' About what? I don't know. Clothes. Me. Eeegkh!

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7072

Jan

Ladies, I am so, so sorry. Can we start again? We were on such a roll. I... I... really apologize.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7073

Pam

Jan.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7074

Jan

Yes, Pam?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7075

Pam

Michael's still at the door.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7076

Jan

Michael!

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7077

Jan

So one obstacle is how assertiveness is perceived differently in men and women. Men who are assertive will be admired. They're called... anyone?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7078

Dwight

It's a terrible idea.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7079

Jim

What is?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7080

Dwight

Them in there all together. If they stay in there too long they're going to get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7081

Michael

Everyone. Guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too... sort of. Let's do this!

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7082

Michael

Well, first of all, I, uh, just want to warm up a little bit. Let's just clap.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7083

Michael

Let's just clap. Ready? Yeah! Yeah!

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7084

Dwight

Yeah!

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7085

Michael

That's what I'm talking about!

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7086

Jan

I don't know what you're doing here, Michael,

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7087

Michael

Just having a little 'guys in the workplace' thing.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7088

Jan

... but it's very destructive.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7089

Michael

Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7090

Jan

Can you please do this somewhere else, Michael?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7091

Michael

We have nowhere else Jan. This...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7092

Dwight

We could do it in the warehouse.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7093

Jan

Dwight, excellent idea. Go to the warehouse.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7094

Michael

OK, OK, Fine. Yeah, actually, perfect. Perfect. You know what? There's another side to this place, gentleman. And I know we all love our cushy jobs and our fun, exciting office. But do you realize that underneath us, there's another world. The warehouse world. A world that is teeming with sweat and dirt and life. Life. The bowels of the office. These guys are down there, they are real men doing real man's work. We are going to learn how a warehouse works.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7095

Michael

Oh, I think it's going to work out great. Because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job. And I haven't been there in months.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7096

Dwight

Remember on Lost when they met the Others?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7097

Jan

I'm so sorry about that... um... so where were we? Pam, are you okay taking notes then?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7098

Pam

Mmmhmm.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7099

Jan

Please? Thank you. very much.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7100

Michael

So let's meet the warehouse! Let's get some shots. Pan around there. This is Darryl, one of our warehouse staff. Darryl, what is your biggest fear?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7101

Darryl

My biggest fear is that someone will distract us from getting all the shipments out on time.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7102

Michael

You know, Darryl is actually the Foreman here and not Roy, which is cool. There's Roy riding the big rig. So Roy is actually going to be marrying Pam sometime this summer. And... uh, she's our receptionist. Sort of a Brangelina thing.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7103

Roy

Why?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7104

Michael

Brangelina is the Brad Pitt and Angelina... Roy...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7105

Roy

I don't understand.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7106

Michael

Roy and Pam. It's a Ram. It's a Ram thing.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7107

Kevin

I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he'll try to beat you up.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7108

Jim

Thanks for the head's up, Kev.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7109

Kevin

I've got your back if he does. But try to stay out of it.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7110

Michael

Uhhuhhuh. Just in case there's someone down here who shouldn't be. A little 'Good Will Hunting' situation. All right. Troops. This is an important day. Big day. Now you may look around and see two groups here. White collar. Blue collar. But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7111

Jan

Why don't we go around the table and all say something that we know we're good at. I will start. I am good at public speaking.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7112

Meredith

Hi. I'm Meredith and I'm an alch... good at supplier relations.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7113

Jan

Great. Phyllis?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7114

Phyllis

I'm good at computer stuff, emails, spreadsheets, all that.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7115

Angela

Really?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7116

Phyllis

I don't know. I thought that I wasn't going to be asked that...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7117

Jan

No. Okay. Stop. Go on...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7118

Angela

I've seen some of your spreadsheets.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7119

Phyllis

Really? I thought they were pretty...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7120

Pam

I don't know how I fit in with these women. Here. Or with Jan. Um... I mean we get along great. Fine. Um... I guess the person I have the most in common with is...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7121

Roy

Jim... Halpert. Hey uh, I, uh, you know heard there's a rumor going around about you used to have a crush on Pam.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7122

Jim

Oh, no, no. No.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7123

Roy

No, it's cool, because I know you're a good guy. And I know that that crush ended a long time ago, so... you know. We're cool, right?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7124

Jim

Yeah. Nope. Yeah. Definitely.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7125

Roy

You know, it's great with me cause that way, glad she has a friend at work she can get through the day with. She's not all bap bap bap bap when she gets home.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7126

Jim

Yeah. I like talking to her too.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7127

Roy

So, we're cool, right?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7128

Jim

Yes. Yeah.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7129

Roy

All right.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7130

Jim

Yep. Cool, man.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7131

Roy

Sweet.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7132

Kevin

[blows a sigh of relief]

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7133

Darryl

Hey, Mike, look. How bout we go upstairs, too. You know learn how the office works. We can all switch places today.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7134

Michael

Oh... well... okay... yeah, you know what? I don't think... You.. You're... My job sucks compared to this. I don't think you'd like it up there.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7135

Darryl

The experience...

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7136

Michael

Guys! Want to start unloading the truck?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7137

Dwight

Okay. Let's go. Step up.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7138

Michael

Check this out! Look at that! Look at that bwup-bwa! Hello! How are... Oh! Kay. That is great. That is good stuff.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7139

Meredith

In five years, I'd like to be... five years sober.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7140

Jan

That is an excellent goal.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7141

Meredith

Four and a half.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7142

Kelly

I'll tell you one thing. I am not going to be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7143

Jan

Great! Uh-huh?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7144

Kelly

I want an SUV... with three rows of seats.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7145

Women

[general murmuring of agreement]

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7146

Jan

Well, I'll be honest. One of the goals of these women seminars is to feel out if there's any standouts. Women who could be a valuable addition to our Corporate life.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7147

Dwight

Michael wants us to bond so we need topics for conversation.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7148

Jim

Ponies.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7149

Dwight

No.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7150

Ryan

How about rainbows?

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7151

Dwight

No.

Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7152

"Boys and Girls" Quotes