Every line from The Office season 1, episode 5, in script order. First aired April 19, 2005.
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Michael
Oh ho, oh, he's running. He's running. He's running, but he can't hide because you know what? One o'clock, you better bring your 'A' game. Because me, and my, posse guys are gonna be in your face. Right in your face!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1352
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Darryl
Why don't we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farley's.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1353
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Michael
Whoa-ho. I like the way you think. You know what, I'm gonna take that one step further. Loser, works, on Saturday.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1354
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Darryl
No, that's not as much fun. You know what?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1355
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Michael
What?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1356
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Darryl
You're on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1357
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Michael
OK. Cool, you're on. Don't screw this up.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1358
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Michael
Classic beginner's mistake, eating before a game.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1359
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Angela
Has anyone seen the first-aid kit? How many times have I told you? I'm the safety officer, not you.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1360
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Jim
Basketball? It was kind of my thing in high school. And I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to playing. You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1361
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Jim
You coming down?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1362
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Pam
Yeah, I'm just forwarding the phones.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1363
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Jim
You gonna wish me luck?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1364
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Pam
Yeah, you're gonna need it.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1365
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Jim
Whoa.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1366
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Jim
Is that trash talk from Pam?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1367
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Pam
I'm just saying, Roy is very competitive.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1368
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Jim
Oh.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1369
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Pam
And he wants to take the WaveRunners to the lake this Saturday so...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1370
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Jim
Well, I'm going to the outlet mall on Saturday, so if you wanna save big on brand names and Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive, you should feel free to come along.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1371
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Pam
Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1372
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Jim
I think I'll see you at the mall. Yeah.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1373
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Michael
Hey, there he is! Secret weapon! All right, guys, come on, let's bring it in! Here we go! OK, listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We are all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you're fired. That's a joke. OK, let's do it.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1374
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Jim
Have a good game man.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1375
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Roy
Yeah, you too. Should be fun.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1376
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Michael
All right, everybody stretch out a little bit. Stretch it. Full stretch. Ryan, you wanna stretch?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1377
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Ryan
I stretched before I came.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1378
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Michael
OK.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1379
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Michael
OK, Ryan, you have Darryl. I have Roy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1380
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Jim
Really? I thought I'd take Roy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1381
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Michael
Actually, I think Roy is their best player not Lonny. So, Dwight, you uh, have the East German gal. Uh, who else we got... Um...OK, all right, you guys.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1382
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Dwight
OK, we'll be skins!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1383
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Michael
Aw, come on Dwight.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1384
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Dwight
What? Shirts on or off?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1385
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Michael
On. Just put it on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1386
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Dwight
You sure?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1387
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Michael
Yes. Uh, Pam? You kind of have your foot in both camps, why don't you do the uh, jump ball OK?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1388
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Roy
Don't listen to him Pam. Trust me, tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1389
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Michael
Stanley! What? You gotta be kidding me! !?! Oh... Here we go! Who's on him? Somebody get him!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1390
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Teammates
Yeah!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1391
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Roy
That's what I'm talking about.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1392
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Michael
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over here, over here. Here we go. Three! Let's go to the zone! We're going to zone!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1393
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Dwight
De-fense! De-fense!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1394
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Michael and Dwight
De-fense! De-fense!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1395
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Warehouse Worker
Well done team.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1396
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Michael
Who's got Roy?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1397
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Pam
Woo!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1398
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Michael
Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today!? Usually hit those. Dwight, I was open. All right, let's go.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1399
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Michael
OK, foul. Charging. Charging. That's a foul.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1400
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Roy
OK.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1401
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Michael
OK, I'll take it. OK.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1402
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Michael
When I am playing hoops all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone, I'm in the zone.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1403
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Michael
What is wrong with me today?!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1404
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Michael
Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know... I might just be a basketball machine. What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um... well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1405
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Michael
Jim! Jim! Jim, right here, Jim! Give me the ball! Ryan, cut! Whoa!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1406
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Jim
My bad.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1407
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Darryl
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1408
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Lonny
Where you at? Where you at? You over there? I'm over there.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1409
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Michael
That is cool. Is that like the Robot?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1410
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Michael
Nice! Come here!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1411
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Ryan
Can we just do one? That's cool, that's fine.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1412
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Darryl
You have one more free throw shoot. Come on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1413
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Roy
All right, let's go.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1414
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Warehouse Worker
Watch your back Madge.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1415
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Madge
Hey! Come on man!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1416
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Michael
Come on! Hey, Dwight. Dwight!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1417
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Dwight
Yeah! In your face!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1418
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Madge
Yeah, like that counts.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1419
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Michael
You know what? Dwight, Dwight...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1420
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Michael
Football is like rock and roll, it's just bam-bam-boo... And basketball is like jazz, you know? You're kind of... Dupee-doo, dupee-do. It's all downbeat, it's in the pocket, it's like... Dupee-do, dupee-do, dapee-dah...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1421
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Michael
Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Harlem Globetrotter...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1422
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Roy
Du-du-du-du-dupee-do. Your ball.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1423
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Michael
All right, time, time out. Come on, sales, over here. Bring it in! Come on!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1424
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Michael
What's going on? What's going on? You're playing like a bunch of girls.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1425
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Jim
You know what? Let me take Roy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1426
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Michael
All right, switch. Take it up a notch, come on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1427
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Michael
Shoot, shoot it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Foul! Naked aggression! Oh, that is... You all right Jim? Suck it up.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1428
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Darryl
Block, block, block!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1429
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Madge
He's afraid of you now.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1430
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Michael
Ouch! Oh, how much does it hurt? How much does it hurt?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1431
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Michael
Yes!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1432
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Roy
What the hell man?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1433
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Jim
Take it easy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1434
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Roy
No, you take it easy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1435
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Michael
Watch the long passes, you guys!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1436
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Ryan
Same team, Dwight.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1437
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Michael
Dwight!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1438
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1439
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Michael
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! In, your, face! Angela, what's the score?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1440
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Angela
You're ahead.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1441
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Michael
Yeah, baby, here we go!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1442
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Michael
Jim! Jim! Right here! Ow! God! Hold it!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1443
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Worker
I'm sorry.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1444
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Michael
Foul! Foul!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1445
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Worker
I'm sorry. You all right?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1446
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Michael
Oh, that hurts.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1447
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Worker
Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1448
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Michael
What's your problem man? Gah, just clocking me for no reason?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1449
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Darryl
Take your shot man!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1450
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Michael
No, no, no, no. That was a flagrant, personal, intentional foul. Right there.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1451