Every quote from The Office season 1, episode 5, in script order. First aired April 19, 2005.
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Michael
Oh ho, oh, he's running. He's running. He's running, but he can't hide because you know what? One o'clock, you better bring your 'A' game. Because me, and my, posse guys are gonna be in your face. Right in your face!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1352
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Darryl
Why don't we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farley's.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1353
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Michael
Whoa-ho. I like the way you think. You know what, I'm gonna take that one step further. Loser, works, on Saturday.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1354
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Darryl
No, that's not as much fun. You know what?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1355
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Michael
What?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1356
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Darryl
You're on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1357
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Michael
OK. Cool, you're on. Don't screw this up.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1358
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Michael
Classic beginner's mistake, eating before a game.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1359
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Angela
Has anyone seen the first-aid kit? How many times have I told you? I'm the safety officer, not you.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1360
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Jim
Basketball? It was kind of my thing in high school. And I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to playing. You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1361
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Jim
You coming down?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1362
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Pam
Yeah, I'm just forwarding the phones.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1363
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Jim
You gonna wish me luck?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1364
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Pam
Yeah, you're gonna need it.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1365
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Jim
Whoa.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1366
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Jim
Is that trash talk from Pam?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1367
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Pam
I'm just saying, Roy is very competitive.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1368
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Jim
Oh.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1369
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Pam
And he wants to take the WaveRunners to the lake this Saturday so...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1370
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Jim
Well, I'm going to the outlet mall on Saturday, so if you wanna save big on brand names and Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive, you should feel free to come along.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1371
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Pam
Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1372
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Jim
I think I'll see you at the mall. Yeah.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1373
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Michael
Hey, there he is! Secret weapon! All right, guys, come on, let's bring it in! Here we go! OK, listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We are all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you're fired. That's a joke. OK, let's do it.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1374
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Jim
Have a good game man.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1375
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Roy
Yeah, you too. Should be fun.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1376
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Michael
All right, everybody stretch out a little bit. Stretch it. Full stretch. Ryan, you wanna stretch?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1377
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Ryan
I stretched before I came.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1378
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Michael
OK.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1379
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Michael
OK, Ryan, you have Darryl. I have Roy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1380
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Jim
Really? I thought I'd take Roy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1381
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Michael
Actually, I think Roy is their best player not Lonny. So, Dwight, you uh, have the East German gal. Uh, who else we got... Um...OK, all right, you guys.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1382
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Dwight
OK, we'll be skins!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1383
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Michael
Aw, come on Dwight.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1384
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Dwight
What? Shirts on or off?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1385
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Michael
On. Just put it on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1386
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Dwight
You sure?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1387
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Michael
Yes. Uh, Pam? You kind of have your foot in both camps, why don't you do the uh, jump ball OK?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1388
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Roy
Don't listen to him Pam. Trust me, tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1389
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Michael
Stanley! What? You gotta be kidding me! !?! Oh... Here we go! Who's on him? Somebody get him!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1390
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Teammates
Yeah!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1391
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Roy
That's what I'm talking about.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1392
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Michael
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over here, over here. Here we go. Three! Let's go to the zone! We're going to zone!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1393
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Dwight
De-fense! De-fense!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1394
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Michael and Dwight
De-fense! De-fense!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1395
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Warehouse Worker
Well done team.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1396
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Michael
Who's got Roy?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1397
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Pam
Woo!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1398
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Michael
Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today!? Usually hit those. Dwight, I was open. All right, let's go.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1399
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Michael
OK, foul. Charging. Charging. That's a foul.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1400
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Roy
OK.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1401
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Michael
OK, I'll take it. OK.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1402
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Michael
When I am playing hoops all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone, I'm in the zone.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1403
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Michael
What is wrong with me today?!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1404
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Michael
Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know... I might just be a basketball machine. What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um... well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1405
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Michael
Jim! Jim! Jim, right here, Jim! Give me the ball! Ryan, cut! Whoa!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1406
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Jim
My bad.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1407
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Darryl
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1408
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Lonny
Where you at? Where you at? You over there? I'm over there.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1409
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Michael
That is cool. Is that like the Robot?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1410
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Michael
Nice! Come here!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1411
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Ryan
Can we just do one? That's cool, that's fine.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1412
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Darryl
You have one more free throw shoot. Come on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1413
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Roy
All right, let's go.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1414
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Warehouse Worker
Watch your back Madge.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1415
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Madge
Hey! Come on man!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1416
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Michael
Come on! Hey, Dwight. Dwight!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1417
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Dwight
Yeah! In your face!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1418
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Madge
Yeah, like that counts.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1419
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Michael
You know what? Dwight, Dwight...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1420
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Michael
Football is like rock and roll, it's just bam-bam-boo... And basketball is like jazz, you know? You're kind of... Dupee-doo, dupee-do. It's all downbeat, it's in the pocket, it's like... Dupee-do, dupee-do, dapee-dah...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1421
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Michael
Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Harlem Globetrotter...
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1422
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Roy
Du-du-du-du-dupee-do. Your ball.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1423
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Michael
All right, time, time out. Come on, sales, over here. Bring it in! Come on!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1424
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Michael
What's going on? What's going on? You're playing like a bunch of girls.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1425
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Jim
You know what? Let me take Roy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1426
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Michael
All right, switch. Take it up a notch, come on.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1427
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Michael
Shoot, shoot it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Foul! Naked aggression! Oh, that is... You all right Jim? Suck it up.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1428
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Darryl
Block, block, block!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1429
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Madge
He's afraid of you now.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1430
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Michael
Ouch! Oh, how much does it hurt? How much does it hurt?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1431
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Michael
Yes!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1432
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Roy
What the hell man?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1433
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Jim
Take it easy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1434
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Roy
No, you take it easy.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1435
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Michael
Watch the long passes, you guys!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1436
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Ryan
Same team, Dwight.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1437
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Michael
Dwight!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1438
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1439
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Michael
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! In, your, face! Angela, what's the score?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1440
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Angela
You're ahead.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1441
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Michael
Yeah, baby, here we go!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1442
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Michael
Jim! Jim! Right here! Ow! God! Hold it!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1443
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Worker
I'm sorry.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1444
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Michael
Foul! Foul!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1445
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Worker
I'm sorry. You all right?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1446
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Michael
Oh, that hurts.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1447
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Worker
Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1448
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Michael
What's your problem man? Gah, just clocking me for no reason?
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1449
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Darryl
Take your shot man!
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1450
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Michael
No, no, no, no. That was a flagrant, personal, intentional foul. Right there.
Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1451