Clark Green Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Junior sales associate, also known as Dwight Junior.

260 quotes · page 2 of 3

1. Here we go again, another lecture from the old man.

   Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55753

2. Women don't despise me'

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3. Alright, that's enough, 'cause I can say some things about him too.

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4. Like the time that you got drunk and, and then' Killed those kids on their way to prom!

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5. So we can offer you matte or glossy printing-

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6. There's obviously a volume discount uh, if you-

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7. No, I think someone could make it up. Someone with very few friends.

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8. Hi, I'm Clark.

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9. Let's talk.

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10. So if you look at our catalog here'

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11. I mean, look, you and I both know that in paper or fashion, styles change. Check out my dad's suit. You are looking at pure acrylic. That's why his face always breaks out.

    Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55831

12. You know what Dad? Maybe you should buy me a suit. I mean, I'm going to need one right? If I'm ever going to get a 'real job' and move my 'lazy ass' out of your 'G.D. house'.

    Season 9 · Episode 11 · Line 55833

13. Well, that's better than looking like the undertaker from boring island.

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14. How do I look?

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15. You opened the door-

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16. Hey, so all that really specific cat turd business, that was about you, right?

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17. Why?

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18. They got us set up with Windows 95, so you're kind of dreaming here.

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19. Hey, so I hear you're bringing in some people to interview for the sales job?

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20. Well, uh' see, you raised it.

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21. You know what, man? I deserve this job.

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22. I scored Stone and Son Suit Warehouse with you, and God knows, to get the Scranton White Pages with Jan, I went above and beyond' and under.

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23. This sucks, you know? You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company, and what do they do? They make you compete for a promotion, like an animal. You know, I thought this was an office, not the Thunderdome.

    Season 9 · Episode 13 · Line 56189

24. You interviewing for the sales job too?

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25. Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that. I mean, I've been working here 12 weeks. That's a full season of Homeland. A ton of things can happen in that amount of time, as we've seen.

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26. Rolf Ahl? Sounds kinda like Roald Dahl.

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27. There he is.

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28. Hey Jim, do you mind if I look over these price sheets before my interview?

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29. Thanks, dude. You'you sure it's okay? 'Cause you're kinda'

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30. Oh, Dove Men.

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31. Yeah, could I just have a minute to prepare for this?

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32. Thanks, dude.

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33. Why?

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34. [exhales]

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35. Wintergreen.

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36. Yeah, good nose.

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37. That's just a classic no-win situation.

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38. So I'd Kobayashi Maru it.

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39. Yep.

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40. You know what, Dwight?

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41. This interview's over, and I get the job. I just Kobayashi Maru'd the whole process.

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42. Yeah. Star Trek rules.

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43. Come on, man. I mean, did Trevor do that? Did Rolf do that?

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44. So how'd you guys hear about the position?

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45. You were in the shower or he was in the shower?

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46. So you guys all know Dwight already?

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47. X-Men school?

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48. What's up good lookin'?

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49. Hey, Pam, I'm going to the kitchen. You want anything?

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50. Oh, I'm sorry. You gotta be this cool for coffee.

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51. No!

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52. Well, my only crime was loving the local sports teams and trying to be one of the guys.

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53. OK, boss. Pam, you know this is ridiculous, right? Like you're smarter than this.

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54. This is never gonna work.

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55. What lines?

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56. It's what I do.

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57. Kay.

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58. Oh, you guys think this is funny? You know what? No more discount. Excuse me. Full price. We're not together.

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59. She's living a lie.

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60. Why? Isn't he just coming in to rip you a new one for being gone three months?

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61. Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that sale from Jan? I mean, I went all out. All out. I mean like everything was out the whole week.

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62. Yeah. And, uh, Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokes-babe of Dunder-Mifflin.

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63. Yeah. In the European billboards, she's gonna be topless.

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64. They're tasteful.

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65. Perfect height, yeah.

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66. Look at it this way, being a bachelor is not all bad. I mean, you've got your freedom now.

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67. There you go, good for you.

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68. You just let it all hang out, that's what...

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69. I'll give you a hundred dollars to wear that sweater to work tomorrow.

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70. Hmm.

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71. So Pete was a librarian?

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72. Was he like the sexy librarian?

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73. No.

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74. Who's this guy?

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75. Hey, man. I don't think we've met. I'm Clark.

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76. You didn't actually say that.

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77. Packer laced the cupcakes.

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78. I went Christmas caroling in March and I fertilized some bushes along the way. So, not my best night. But, not my worst night.

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79. It's porn.

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80. What's her name?

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81. Sweet.

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82. Oh yeah. Keep talkin'.

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83. Oh.

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84. The same thing that you think.

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85. God, one of my buddies is going through the same thing right now. Something in the air.

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86. Oh my god, is that you and Jim?

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87. Jeez, you fell in love with that hair? Really? Yikes. That is awful.

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88. Whoa! Whoa! OK, so what's this lever do?

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89. Oh, the secondary shaft. Eeeh, oooga!

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90. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

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91. Hey, can I talk to you for one second?

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92. One second.

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93. One second.

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94. Don't do it.

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95. Dude, we're being conned.

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96. These chicks are way too hot to be into us. Esther's just pretending to like you so that you'll buy her daddy a new tractor.

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97. Yes. Her sister's trying to seduce me into buying an auger with her.

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98. I don't even know what an auger is!

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99. A Scranton nine, but yeah, point taken. Hey, let's go out tonight and just score a couple fours huh? I mean there are no games with fours.

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100. Screw new tractors. Guys like us, we gotta plant our seed a different way.

     Season 9 · Episode 18 · Line 57954