Clark Green Quotes from The Office

Junior sales associate, also known as Dwight Junior.

260 quotes · page 1 of 3

1. Actually, uh, I'm the consultant. Got milk? Ha ha. Alright, let's see what we're working with.

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2. I'll get that for you.

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3. Okay. Let me feel here.

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4. Yeah, it's quite full. Why don't you put your hand on top of my hand.

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5. When you're feeding, you want to press in like this, make your hand in a C. Uh, does that hurt?

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6. Okay.

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7. Okay, well. Feel how I'm flicking the nipple? Like that?

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8. Stimulate it.

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9. Alright, so you just want to do that, and that will, uh...

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10. And you can just... The baby should grab on to that.

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11. It doesn't... Why don't you bring your baby over here... She's beautiful.

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12. Yes, congratulations.

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13. Well, you're doing a good job. Just stay relaxed, and I'll come back in a bit to check on you. Okay?

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14. Hey, uh, does anybody know where we throw these out?

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15. You're looking good.

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16. I love it.

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17. No, I prefer Fart.

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18. I don't either.

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19. Yep, body by Cheez-it

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20. I think I'm busy that night. Or I would.

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21. Learning what?

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22. Kay.

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23. Is this'is this like code for gay stuff? Cause if so, that's totally fine. Like, I'm fine with it. But you should know that I'm into the ladies.

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24. You know, if you're ever swamped, I could make some sales calls for you.

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25. So could you give me a list of all your clients? Or just the leads that you haven't had time to pursue yet?

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26. Yeah, I'll just give it a glance'

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27. I'll give it a read.

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28. Yeah.

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29. I am.

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30. Ok.

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31. Uh, I guess I could give it shot.

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32. Ok

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33. I've always been good at anything that required balance. My doctor says I have gigantic inner ears.

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34. Alright, let's see you do it.

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35. You got this, it's all you. Got ourselves a yard sale. Balls in face. It's not a race, Dwight.

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36. Well, you know, I'm also Customer Service.

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37. Wow, Newsweek, huh? This election' thing is crazy, right?

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38. Duncan, listen, I would love to help you out but where am I gonna find somebody that's pretty, smart and well-informed? Huh? Hold on, hold on. Erin, do you know anybody that might want... Oh my gosh. You love the news, right?

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39. Well, I got a buddy that's a big time local news producer and I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind.

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40. He's looking for on-air talent and he'd kill me if I didn't get you on tape.

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41. You'll just come over, put on little lipstick, loosen up with a glass of red wine and then we'll just run through a few stories. You know, a couple different ways, with a couple different outfits. It'd be really tasteful and it'd really help me out with Duncan... with my friend. What do you say? Huh?

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42. Ok.

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43. Think it over.

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44. Uh... couple of button-downs, a camisole, a blazer, a pencil skirt, stilettos, maybe, no, no, not maybe, definitely open-toed. Uh, something low-cut because the camera makes everything seem higher cut.

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45. Yeah, industry secret. You're gonna want some of those panty hose with the seam up the back.

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46. And then, you know, maybe just a robe to wear in between takes but I probably got one she can borrow at my place, so-

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47. I absolutely will do that.

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48. Pff. Guess I'll just head over to the mall then. Buy Erin some sexy, fun outfits.

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49. Whatever it takes.

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50. Hey! Everybody.

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51. Come in.

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52. Come on in.

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53. What're you doing here?

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54. All right. We got that. That's a rap, everybody.

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55. Yep, she's done.

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56. No, we got it. We got it.

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57. OK, I don't.

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58. So we decided the best way to get ahead here is to be his cheerleaders.

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59. Oooohhhhhhhh!

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60. It's starting to have this reverse effect, though, where I really do think the stuff he does is awesome.

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61. Just clap through it, man.

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62. I don't want to teach you Power Point.

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63. Just do the tutorial.

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64. No, dude, I'm not. I'm not the tutorial.

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65. Mm-mm.

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66. So Creed is that dude's step dad?

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67. Stretch. Alright.

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68. I, my legs cramp up! Ok, it's a circulation issue.

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69. It's a medical thing.

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70. I'm good. I..

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71. Come back.

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72. Mmm.

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73. What?

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74. I do. I love the boss's interests.

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75. Wait! Wait. Hold on. Where's the band? 'Cause there's just no way you guys are making this magic with just your mouths.

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76. What, am I overdoing it? No. No.

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77. Yes! All right!

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78. That's how you do that! Whoo!

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79. So, this is how we look now. I hope you like being turned on all the time.

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80. God!

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81. Where's the Quizno's?

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82. Do what? Get into sales? That's what I want.

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83. Hey guys.

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84. A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters. Especially when the feelings of a lady are involved.

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85. Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week. I mean it was' like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar like you might think. It was uh' like a swarm of bees. Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.

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86. What's with the wig Meredith?

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87. Nope, you got it. You fixed it. Uh, I have a gift from Jan. It's an espresso maker! We came to be quite fond of espresso on the Amalfi Coast so' bon appetite.

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88. If you really want to show appreciation, just give me half the commission.

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89. I loved it.

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90. If it'll lead to me being a salesman, I'll pretend to be your friend.

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91. No, we sure hadn't Pop.

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92. He calls me Clarky 'cause he's my Dad.

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93. My dad is the best hunter there is. I mean, he's like a serial killer' of animals. One time, he snuck up behind a sleeping deer and just sawed its head right of. It was sick!

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94. Here you go, Pop! I know it was just a couple minutes, but' God I missed you!

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95. I sure was. Just like he taught me, looking cool.

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96. 'And I love you, for saying that.

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97. Ha ha! I just burned him. Because the truth is' our relationship is' terr-

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98. Terrible.

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99. So for your menswear catalogue, I think we can offer you some very competitive pricing.

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100. Well, I understand, but '

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