Erin

Oh. Hey, champions.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58271

Toby

Good morning.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58272

Clark

Quater finals in an hour. Hope you got some sleep cause I am going to be haunting your nightmares tonight.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58273

Erin

I did. I got some really good sleep.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58274

Clark

Did you?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58275

Erin

Bzzz.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58276

Dwight

Yesterday was the first round of a branch wide paper airplane contest. It was being sponsored by Weyer-Hammer Paper in an effort to get us to sell more of their new product Airstream Deluxe A4, the Cadillac of paper. It's not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean. Practically made of plastic.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58277

Nellie

We started with sixteen brave aviators. Some use skill, others relied on showmanship others seem not to comprehend what a paper airplane is. And of course, there was the odd moment of heartbreak and disaster.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58278

Toby

Hey I left my glasses down here somewhere. Crossing through, beep beep.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58279

Toby

Ow! Ow!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58280

Pam

I didn't see you! You should have yelled 'Crossing!'

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58281

Toby

I'm sorry!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58282

Pam

Ok, so is that my spot?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58283

Nellie

We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven and Toby.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58284

Andy

Be careful of that beaker, it contains dangerous acid!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58285

Darryl

It does not say dangerous. And there's no exclamation point.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58286

Andy

Well I'm just trying to bring some life to it.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58287

Andy

Last week I got an agent and uh, this week I got a movie. HRPDC chemical handling protocols. It's gonna be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community. One of whom could have a cousin whose brother's Brad Pitt. And boom, next thing you know, I'm in Moneyballs Two.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58288

Toby

Andy?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58289

Andy

Go away, we're running lines.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58290

Toby

You wanted to see the gooey eye.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58291

Andy

Oh yeah. Alright, get over here. I am so freaked out by things going into eyes. I just- wow. Uggggh! I can't even, I'm so freaked out by that, just go. Go go go go go.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58292

Toby

Alright, it's getting gooier so we'll just do it later.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58293

Andy

Yeah, Ok. Alright. Where were we?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58294

Darryl

Something full of acid.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58295

Andy

And remember: Do not attempt to extinguish a chemical fire with water. You will only exacerbate the flame. The dangerous flame.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58296

Darryl

That was great man. Alright, I'm out of here.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58297

Andy

W-w-w-wait. Stop stop stop. Don't go anywhere. I just need to find more colors. Let's do it six more times.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58298

Jim

Hey. I just wanted to say that you woke up early with the kids and let me sleep and I really appreciate that.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58299

Pam

Thank you. I appreciate that you appreciate that.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58300

Pam

So, we had couple's therapy.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58301

Jim

No shame in that. Get it all out in the open.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58302

Pam

And we have homework.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58303

Jim

Yes, we are supposed to look for every chance to acknowledge and appreciate each other's sacrifices. Because I need to appreciate what Pam's been doing to run the house while I'm in Philly.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58304

Pam

And we're also supposed to speak our truths.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58305

Jim

Mmhm.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58306

Pam

Because if I had spoken my truth sooner about not wanting to move to Philly, then maybe we wouldn't have had this opportunity for couple's therapy.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58307

Jim

Oh, we're supposed to call everything we don't want to do 'opportunities.'

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58308

Andy

Heads up everyone. If you really need something from me today, let's get it done tomorrow. Carla Fern got me a gig.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58309

Pam

Hey!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58310

Andy

Yeah.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58311

Stanley

Who's Carla Fern?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58312

Andy

Who is Carla Fern? Well, wow. Uh, she's my agent and my drill sargent. And one of my best friends. Oh, and Oscar, I already figured it out. If I have to get emotional in the film, I'm just going to think about you getting dumped by the Senator.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58313

Oscar

Why wouldn't you use your own life? Erin just dumped you.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58314

Andy

Little raw. Not cool Oscar.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58315

Oscar

But you just!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58316

Andy

Not cool.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58317

Nellie

Hey. Day two. Drama in the warehouse skies. This is Robert from Weyer-Hammer Paper, who will be joining us to judge the final rounds.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58318

Robert

Who's pumped for the quarter finals, huh?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58319

Dwight

I'm pumped!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58320

Erin

Clark's a dead man.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58321

Robert

Alright. Sounds like somebody wants to walk away with this.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58322

Angela

Oh my god!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58323

Group

Whoa.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58324

Angela

Nellie you didn't tell us we could win money.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58325

Nellie

Oh yes I did, I told you all. It was..um, cause that's an awful lot of money for me to forget.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58326

Stanley

Not one of us remembers you saying anything about two thousand dollars.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58327

Nellie

I forgot. I completely forgot. But at least now that large piece of cardboard that man was carrying around makes sense.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58328

Erin

Nellie, this is a competition. Please take it seriously.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58329

Nellie

Oh please.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58330

Angela

Me? Oh, I'm fine. I mean, sure, times are leaner now that I'm separated from the Senator. But my new studio apartment is just fine for me.. and Phillip... and Tinky... and Crinklepuss, and Bandit 2, and Pawlick Baggins, and Lady Aragorn and their 10 kittens.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58331

Phillip

[cries]

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58332

Angela

Come here, come here. Let's go.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58333

Angela

I had a chance with Dwight, but I didn't take it. And if I went back now, when I'm broke and he just inherited a farm, I'd be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58334

Dwight

I offered myself to Angela and she turned me down. If she changes her mind, the next move is hers. I'm with Esther now. She's younger than Angela, sturdier, more comfortable with the scent of a manured field. Let's be honest. When it came to manured fields, Angela was at best indifferent.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58335

Clark

Oh, wide wings, interesting.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58336

Erin

Hey. Why don't you back off?[looks at Pete]...I mean best of luck to you in the competition.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58337

Erin

Growing up in an orphanage, you have to fight other kids. For everything. Snacks, pillows, parents. I'm kinda worried about Pete seeing that side of me. I once ripped greedy Susan's pigtail right off her head. Just for a handful of Crispix.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58338

Carla Fern

Are you in that paper documentary too?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58339

Darryl

Yep.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58340

Carla Fern

Do you need an agent?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58341

Andy

No. He's- I mean, you've never acted in anything before. He's just my entourage.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58342

Darryl

I was in The Whiz in high school.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58343

Andy

That's the cleaky clacker! He clicks that and then the guy says 'action.'

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58344

Carla Fern

Hey, I made them get you a chair. All my clients sit.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58345

Woman

Can I take your picture?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58346

Andy

I guess it's starting. Um, yeah. Of course. Yeah sure. Tell you what. I'll put my arm around you and then I can take it-

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58347

Woman

We just need a picture of the top of your head in case we burn some of your hair off.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58348

Andy

Got it.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58349

Woman

No, if you could just keep it down until..

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58350

Andy

Sorry.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58351

Nellie

OK, next up we have two creatures great and small. Kevin versus Angela.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58352

Kevin

Yes!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58353

Dwight

Hey, that is a really nice plane. You make that yourself?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58354

Kevin

Uh huh.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58355

Dwight

Well, what am I thinking? Of course you made that yourself. Cause it's in the rules that you have to fold your own plane.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58356

Kevin

Of course.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58357

Nellie

Kevin, did you make that yourself?

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58358

Kevin

Yes. In a way. From one that I bought on Craigslist.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58359

Nellie

Oh man.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58360

Dwight

I call for a refold!

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58361

Kevin

No.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58362

Angela

Really? Thank you.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58363

Kevin

This is flatter.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58364

Dwight

It's a piece of paper. You fold it into an airplane.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58365

Nellie

Ok, that's enough. This is the end of the ring now. You have to pick one.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58366

Kevin

I can't. I love them all too much. And, none of them fly. So that makes it harder.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58367

Nellie

You have to choose one now.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58368

Kevin

Fine.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58369

Nellie

Angela advances.

Season 9 · Episode 20 · Line 58370

"Paper Airplane" Quotes