Erin

They caught the Scranton Stranger, they trapped him in his house.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40432

Reporter

Police have now surrounded the apartment complex.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40433

Michael

They have him surrounded. It's the SWAT. The SWAT's arriving.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40434

Reporter

It is unknown if he is armed with anything.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40435

Kevin

They should do that thing where they play the really good music to get him to come out.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40436

Dwight

They shouldn't televise any of this, it just encourages copy-cats.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40437

Angela

Just say copies, why do you have to drag cats into this.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40438

Gabe

Okay, while this is interesting we should get back to work. These stand-offs can last a long time. What if it's another Waco.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40439

Erin

It's pronounced wacko.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40440

Jim

Some events are so news worthy, so historic, that you have to stop everything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral. Things that if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40441

Kelly

Columbia Street in Washington Ave! When is he gonna come out?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40442

Andy

I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? Sixty miles to the gallon in the city.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40443

Kevin

No! I bet he's wishing he was strangling someone!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40444

Michael

Ok, that's our street! That's our street! He's going down our street! Come on everybody!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40445

Michael

There it is! I saw it! I saw it! He went right by! You missed it!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40446

Michael

Grandpa, where were you the day the the Scranton Strangler was caught? Well kiddo, I was there. I was there... And I'll tell you what. You go sell these and buy yourself a nice spaceship.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40447

Erin

Michael!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40448

Michael

Walk with me.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40449

Erin

Gabe and I are having a party, and everyone's invited, and it's at his house apartment and we're gonna watch Glee.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40450

Michael

Glee? What is Glee, some television program? Jim I need that thing stat!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40451

Jim

Okay?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40452

Erin

Yeah it's a TV show...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40453

Michael

Dwight! Sign please. I don't have time for parties I don't have time for TV shows. Stanley! What time is that thing I have to do?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40454

Stanley

I...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40455

Michael

Cancel it! Are you still here?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40456

Erin

Uhh. It's just that it's our first party together so...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40457

Michael

MMM MMM MM MM MM! Did you hear what I said? I'm a very busy man. I don't have time for your TV show.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40458

Erin

Okay, sorry.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40459

Michael

I'm joking.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40460

Erin

Wait which one?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40461

Michael

I'm joking. I'm kidding around! I'm not actually angry. I'm not busy at all, I'm not doing anything. And I know what Glee is, I'm a total Gleek.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40462

Erin

Good me too!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40463

Michael

You know who my favorite character is? The invalid. I am coming to your party.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40464

Erin

I don't know if Michael likes Gabe that much, but there's this thing on Glee called mash-up, where two things that don't go together, make one great song. Take Gabe, take Michael, you make Gay Mike. Best friends.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40465

Kelly

No really? Is there time to change this?! That show! Now first they say that Mr. Schu doesn't know anything about choreography, then like three episodes later he's this fantastic choreographer?! Pick a lane people!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40466

Kelly

And what was with Jesse's sudden turn on Rachel, between Dream-On and Funk. Where the heck did that come from?! Honestly that show, it's just. It's irresponsible.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40467

Angela

Are you going?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40468

Dwight

Not because I want to. With all the feeling to base a show around. Glee? Thirst. Now that's a show I'd watch.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40469

Angela

I would watch that.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40470

Dwight

Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40471

Andy

You're having a party at Gabe's apartment?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40472

Erin

Mhmm! I'd love it if you were there.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40473

Andy

You would?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40474

Erin

You and Michael are always the life of the party!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40475

Andy

Try and keep me from coming!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40476

Erin

Why would I keep you from coming?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40477

Andy

Try and hide it, I will track this party down!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40478

Erin

Why would I hide it!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40479

Michael

Kevin!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40480

Kevin

Hey, you going tonight?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40481

Michael

Yes, I am. Are you?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40482

Kevin

Yeah! You gotta go to the boss's party!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40483

Michael

What? No Gabe is... Gabe is not the boss.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40484

Kevin

No he's not the boss.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40485

Michael

Why did you just say he was the boss?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40486

Kevin

Cause, you're the boss!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40487

Michael

Yeeee... Guys! Do you consider Gabe to be the boss?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40488

Erin

It's make your own pizza night. Isn't Gabe's place so nice?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40489

Michael

Uh huh...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40490

Erin

Look at the size of those wine glasses Michael!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40491

Michael

Big...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40492

Erin

Those posters used to be real French ads.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40493

Michael

All right!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40494

Gabe

So these are your cheeses, your ham, your sausages, your herbs, and your vegetables. Here's what's been done, so start creating. Some times it helps to think of a part of the world, and...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40495

Michael

Okay okay okay.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40496

Michael

Gabe likes to entertain a lot, ad he cooks in an oven, and all that jazz. I just have a different life style. They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So I'll get a few ingredients, sit down in front of the TV, a bag of vegetables, before you know it I'm ready for bed!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40497

Michael

[tossing pizza dough in the air]

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40498

Gabe

You don't really toss the dough.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40499

Michael

Try and destroy the old ways, Gabe, well I will not let you.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40500

Gabe

Welcome to my Man Cave! I did my senior year in prog in Japan. Best year of my life.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40501

Jim

You play?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40502

Gabe

Oh! I like to play soundscapes. I imagine one instant of a song, expanded to be the size of the universe.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40503

Jim

You can't even do that.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40504

Cece

[crying]

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40505

Pam

She's up! Great!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40506

Pam

Cece, is reverse cycling, which means she sleeps all day and is up all night. Which basically means I'm up all day and I'm up all night. And if it doesn't stop soon, I am going to be up all night.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40507

Erin

The show's starting. The show's starting! The show's starting! Show's starting!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40508

Phyllis

Who's that?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40509

Kelly

Finn.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40510

Phyllis

Who's that?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40511

Kelly

Rachel.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40512

Phyllis

Which one's Glee?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40513

Kelly

You have to stop.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40514

Michael

Where's Michael? Where's Michael? We can't start without Michael! Oh here he is! Ohhhh. Yayyy, and let the show begin!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40515

Gabe

It's a little loud...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40516

Michael

Actually I think it's not loud enough. May I? Thank you sah! There we go. Glee right? Rock and roll! Turn it up to elevaan! Spinal Cord!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40517

Gabe

Some of us are trying to have a conversation.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40518

Michael

Well some of us are trying to have a...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40519

Gabe

I'll just turn the captions on.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40520

Michael

Well I will turn up the volume.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40521

Gabe

That's for the other box.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40522

Michael

Okay... Heeeere's what we're gonna do! Right down the hall is a bed room. All the real Glee fans are gonna go down the hall to the real Glee party in the bedroom, follow me! Where we can crank it!

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40523

Oscar

That one! She's been in a couple episodes of Friday Night...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40524

Kelly

You know what? I'm so confused. Is this a Glee watching party? Or a Glee pausing party? 'Cause we keep stopping it, to get a history lesson from...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40525

Oscar

You know what? I didn't read the rules, I didn't know the rules. There, it's on. I didn't read the rule book.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40526

Pam

Michael? Maybe you should try gong in the other room again. You can have my seat. It's closer to the TV. It'll seem louder.

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40527

Michael

Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. If I ever start acting like that weenie Gabe I want you to take that gun, and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin until I'm dead. Okay?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40528

Pam

You have a gun in your desk?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40529

Ryan

Hey! Marantz Tubes Sterio. From the 1970's. I respect that. I respect that a lot. Oh hoho. The five Chinese Berilidy Herbs. No kidding. This is powdered seahorse. They say that fifteen Chinese soldiers fought off the entire army of Gangus Kong just using this stuff. You know what they say...

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40530

Andy

No what?

Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40531

"Viewing Party" Quotes