Every line from The Office season 3, episode 15, in script order. First aired February 8, 2007.
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Uncle Al
Oh, I... I don't... I'm not sure.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13925
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Dwight
Oh I get it, I get it, come on, freeloader. Let's move it. Come on. Come on.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13926
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Uncle Al
Okay, Okay. Where are we going?
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13927
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Dwight
Got to find yourself another wedding to crash, my friend.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13928
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Uncle Al
Oh!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13929
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Michael
Phyllis! Are you happy with everything? What can I do to make it more perfecter?
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13930
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Phyllis
It's beautiful. Why don't you find your seat. Enjoy the buffet.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13931
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Michael
I'm already on it. The chicken? Totally undercooked. I sent it back.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13932
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Phyllis
It's fish.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13933
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Michael
I will take care of that.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13934
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Michael
I do. I know a fair amount about fine food... and drink. This is a white.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13935
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Kevin
No this is not our first wedding. This is the THIRD wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding and our guitarist's wedding.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13936
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Kevin
Attention, everyone. Attention, please. I am supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old and has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It is a very serious situation. Roxanne. You don't have to put on your red light.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13937
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Roy
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13938
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Pam
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13939
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Roy
I know I normally don't notice these kind of things but uh... This wedding's really nice! I mean, the flowers and stuff? Phyllis has got some great taste.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13940
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Pam
You're kidding me, right?
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13941
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Roy
I know you're probably not going to remember this, right? But um... Those color roses? I got you those color roses for our prom.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13942
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Pam
Roy, I picked those flowers. Phyllis just stole all of my ideas for our wedding.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13943
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Roy
I uh guess I wasn't really too involved in the planning.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13944
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13945
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Roy
Sorry about that.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13946
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Pam
It's okay.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13947
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Roy
You think this sucks for you? I was the one who actually wanted to get married.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13948
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Randy
Phyllis, you're a wonderful woman. And you're a hell of a bowler!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13949
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Crowd
[cheering and clapping]
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13950
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Unknown
She is.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13951
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Randy
Cheers.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13952
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Crowd
Cheers.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13953
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Michael
Thank you, Randy. That was great. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hi, I'm Michael Scott and for the next forty minutes, I'm going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance. One of the great, seemingly impossible, love stories of our time. My name is Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines 'wedding' as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something. I think you guys are two metals. Gold medals. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Michael Scott, Phyllis' boss. To quote from The Princess Bride 'Mawige...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13954
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Michael
The most important part of a speech is the opening line. When time is not a factor, I like to try out three or four different ones.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13955
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Michael
Phyllis and Bob: their celebrity couple name would be Phlob. You look at her... and she's kind of matronly today, but back in High School, I swear, her nickname was 'Easy Rider'. Now as for Bob... Bob Vance...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13956
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Bob Vance
Oh okay. That's enough.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13957
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Michael
is a guy that...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13958
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Bob Vance
Thanks, Michael. Give me...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13959
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Michael
he works... Okay hold, hold on, hold on. Look. Look. I didn't say anything when Phyllis' dad upstaged me at the ceremony. And I think you owe me this. Kay.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13960
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Bob Vance
Give me the microphone.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13961
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Michael
No. I'm not going to...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13962
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Bob Vance
Give me... Give me the microphone, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13963
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Michael
Ok. All right.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13964
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Bob Vance
You're out of here!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13965
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Michael
Oh. Yeah. You're out of here! You're... Yeah. I hate you!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13966
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Jim
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13967
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Pam
Hey!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13968
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Jim
When are we going to get to see some of those famous Beesly dance moves?
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13969
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Pam
Oh... I'm pacing myself.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13970
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Jim
Come on. Get out there. Give the people what they want.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13971
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Pam
No. I'm such a dorky dancer.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13972
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Jim
I know. It's very cute.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13973
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Jim
Hypothetically, if I thought Pam was interested, then... No, it's totally hypothetical.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13974
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Michael
Come... Come on!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13975
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Dwight
I can't let you in, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13976
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Michael
Dwight, just...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13977
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Dwight
No, it's Bob and Phyllis' orders.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13978
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Michael
Look, I just wanted to go in and quietly sit and have a piece of cake. I'm not even going to dance one song.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13979
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Dwight
You are a real life wedding crasher and I must bounce you. I'm sorry, it gives me no pleasure.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13980
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Michael
OK.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13981
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Roy
Hey, they're playing our song.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13982
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Pam
Yeah, that's weird. I thought they only played the Police.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13983
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Roy
I know. Uh... I gave them twenty bucks. You want to dance?
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13984
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Michael
ee... I was meant for you... buppity du bom bu.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13985
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Roy
Hey, want to get out of here?
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13986
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Jim
Here's a 'not hypothetical'. I'm really happy I'm with Karen.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13987
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Karen
Every little thing she does is magic. Every little thing she do just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic. Now I know my love for her goes on. Every...
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13988
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Women
One... Two... Three. Ahhhh!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13989
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Toby
Toby! Yeah!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13990
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Michael
I just want Phyllis to have a great day.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13991
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Uncle Al
Phyllis and you will be great together.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13992
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Michael
We are great together. We are a great team.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13993
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Uncle Al
The Celtics were a great team.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13994
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Michael
Yes. Yes. They were. Robert Parrish! I should talk to her. I don't want this to ruin her honeymoon.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13995
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Uncle Al
Nobody ever helped me. I had to do it myself. Even the doctor didn't know!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13996
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Michael
Dude, keep it together. I listened to you for half an hour even though most of that stuff went right over my head.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13997
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Michael
Phyllis. Phyllis! Wait! Please. I'm sorry. I just... I just wanted to make this a day to remember.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13998
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Phyllis
You found Uncle Al!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 13999
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Michael
Yeah. Yeah. He's kind of a weirdo.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 14000
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Phyllis
Thank you, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 14001
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Michael
You're... You're welcome.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 14002
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Michael
They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that your lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that's crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 14003
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Michael
Be careful. Oh no!! Oh wow! Phyllis! Phyllis! You look like a clown! Here. Get me! Get me!
Season 3 · Episode 15 · Line 14004