Every quote from The Office season 9, episode 9, in script order. First aired December 6, 2012.
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Jim
That's right.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55270
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Dwight
No matter! Belsnickel cares not about this--off with you!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55271
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Jim
Perfect. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55272
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Dwight
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Don't you want to know your present?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55273
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Jim
You know what? Yeah. Have at it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55274
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Dwight
Jim Halpert. Cheer or fear? Belsnickel is here! I judge your year as impish.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55275
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Jim
Ooh! Are you nuts?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55276
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Dwight
I judge you impish!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55277
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Jim
Ow! Ow! Okay, that is three, and you didn't hit anybody that hard.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55278
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Dwight
They're not abandoning the party.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55279
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Jim
Just--Just--Hey!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55280
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Jim
That's enough, I'm done! Okay? Agh!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55281
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Dwight
Impish!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55282
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Jim
Aah! Ow!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55283
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Meredith
Belsnickel, I gotta run out early too.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55284
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Jim
Oh...what was that? Now I'm gonna be all whipped for my first day at work. God. One second. Oh...
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55285
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Pam
Well...this is it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55286
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Jim
I'm probably never gonna see you again.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55287
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Pam
Shut up. I'm trying to be serious.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55288
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Jim
Okay, sorry, sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55289
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Pam
I can't believe this is actually happening.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55290
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Jim
Listen, thank you so much for putting that all together. That was the perfect last Christmas party. All right, wish me luck.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55291
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Pam
Okay. Good luck. You're gonna be great.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55292
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Jim
I'll call you when I get in.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55293
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Pam
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55294
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Jim
All right.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55295
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Pam
Love you.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55296
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Jim
Love you.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55297
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Pam
What's going on?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55298
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Dwight
Party's over. You quit on Christmas, Christmas quits on you. And guess what, kids. Belsnickel isn't real. It's me, Dwight!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55299
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Phyllis
We found some old decorations in the warehouse. Oscar ran to the store for some food and drink, and I dipped into my stash of eggnog. I guess they needed me after all. It's like in it's a wonderful life when Jimmy Stewart realizes that all thos people at the building and loan were just jerks, and he was the real hero.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55300
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Angela
Kevin. Kevin! Aaah. Stop it!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55301
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Nellie
Oh, it sounds like the party's starting up out there.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55302
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Toby
Yeah. So anyway, the entire jury wants me to vote guilty. But then I did a little research of my own, and forget everything you thought you knew about fingerprinting.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55303
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Darryl
Meredith's a little cute. I'm just realizing. She got, like, a Emma Stone thing.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55304
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Darryl
Boo!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55305
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Pam
For what it's worth, I liked your party better.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55306
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Dwight
Everyone thought the food was gross, and that belsnickel was some darkly erotic freak.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55307
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Pam
I don't think anyone thought that.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55308
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Dwight
Jim couldn't even stay till the end of the party.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55309
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Pam
Well, that didn't have anything to do with you.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55310
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Dwight
I don't care. Guess how much I care on a scale of one to ten.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55311
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Pam
Zero.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55312
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Dwight
Damn It!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55313
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Darryl
I'm gonna tell Jim to go himself.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55314
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Erin
Do you think Andy would ever jump off an exploding building tied to a hose for me?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55315
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Pete
Yeah. Definitely. Hey, what's--Oh, no, come here. Hey, hey. Come on, huh?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55316
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Erin
I'm still Andy's girlfriend.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55317
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Pete
Oh, yeah, of course. I know.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55318
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Erin
But you can leave your arm.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55319
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Pam
Dwight, want me to get you some eggnog?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55320
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Dwight
No, thanks. I'll just have another dumatril. Jim taught me this really cool way to take it. You crush it into a powder, and you snort it up your butt.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55321
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Jim
Yep, I did say that.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55322
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Pam
Jim!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55323
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Jim
What's going on? Where's the belsnickel?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55324
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Pam
Oh--Oh my god!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55325
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Jim
What are you doing? Last time I saw you, you were whipping me out of the building.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55326
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Dwight
Shh. Let's not speak of that. The Pig Rib! We could totally break the pig rib! I'm gonna dig it out of the trash!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55327
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Pam
What happened? Did you miss your bus?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55328
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Jim
No. I just missed my wife.[Gives Pam a hug and a kiss]
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55329
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Dwight
I found it!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55330
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Jim
And I found out that there's a bus at 5:00 a.m.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55331
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Dwight
Oh! Damn It! Jim got the bigger half.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55332
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Darryl
Back for more, huh?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55333
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Jim
Ooh, nog it. Let me get some nog. Thanks, Phyllis. Where's Andy?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55334
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Darryl
You!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55335
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Jim
Oh, hey, man. Oh, you know what? Before I forget again, I talked to the guys about hiring you. They're gonna bring you in for an interview.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55336
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Darryl
That's great.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55337
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Jim
Right?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55338
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Darryl
Thanks, man.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55339
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Jim
Hey, of course.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55340
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Darryl
I shall come by at your convenience.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55341
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Jim
Thank you, sir.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55342
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Darryl
Whoo!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55343
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Jim
Go get 'em.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55344
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Darryl
Oh! Whoa!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55345
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Dwight
Very impish.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55346
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Toby
Two dimes, seven nickels--Well, okay, no, that doesn't add up. It was one quarter and--
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55347
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Nellie
Shh.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55348
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Toby
What? I was just explaining--
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55349
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Nellie
Shh.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55350
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Toby
Why wouldn't it--
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55351
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Nellie
Shh.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55352
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Toby
But why?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55353
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Nellie
No...more...talking.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55354
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Toby
Are you gonna kiss me?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55355
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Nellie
Yes.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Quote 55356