Every line from The Office season 9, episode 9, in script order. First aired December 6, 2012.
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Jim
I'm having second thoughts about one of the shirts I packed. The blue one with the stripes.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55070
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Pam
I'm sure it's fine. it's a blue shirt.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55071
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Jim
Well, yeah, but I'm wondering if it's too blue. Like, am I making a statement with the blueness?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55072
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Jim
I am leaving early today for Philly, because tomorrow is the first day of my new job. So I figure I'd get in at 5:00, check into a hotel at about 6:00 so I can get a real good night of restless sleep and nervous puking.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55073
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Dwight
Uh, excuse me. Trying to get work done. Some people don't care about Jim's new sports job in Phila-Whatever.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55074
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Jim
So you know my job has something to do with sports, but you don't know the end of the word 'Philadelphia'?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55075
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Dwight
Philadelphia. From the greek phila meaning 'Love,' and adelph, meaning 'Adolf.' 'the city that loves Adolf.' Good luck with your new enterprise and don't wear the blue striped shirt. It makes your neck look like an old mop handle.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55076
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Erin
Oh...Hey, guys, the Christmas party is today. Merry Christmas everyone!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55077
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Angela
No.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55078
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Nellie
Is It?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55079
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Erin
I mean, it says 'X-Mas party,' but I think we all know what that's code for.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55080
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Kevin
So we're not going to have a Christmas party this year? Angela, how could you do this to us?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55081
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Angela
Oh, right, like I'm responsible 'cause I'm in charge of the party planning committee.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55082
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Kevin
Well, you are the one in charge of it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55083
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Angela
Don't blame me for something we all forgot.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55084
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Oscar
Yeah, let's not blame her for something we all forgot.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55085
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Oscar
I didn't realize how many of Angela's opinions I agreed with, until she tried to have my kneecap shattered for sleeping with her husband. She makes a lot of very sound points.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55086
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Phyllis
I knew the party was today, but nobody asked me to plan it, so I didn't. Hmm, funny how that works.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55087
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Meredith
We're out there sweating our balls off every day, bustin' our balls. We deserve a Christmas party!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55088
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Nellie
Well, then, why don't we just get some liquor and those mini-Cupcakes?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55089
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Kevin
Mini-Cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes, which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55090
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Dwight
What about an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas? Drink some gluhwein, enjoy some hasenpfeffer. Enjoy Christmas with saint Nicolas' rural German companion, Belsnickel.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55091
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Jim
Yes! That, that, that! We're definitely doing that. Are we all in agreement?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55092
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Kevin
No.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55093
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Angela
No!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55094
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Jim
Done, right?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55095
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Angela
No.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55096
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Stanley
No. I want Tropical Christmas.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55097
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Meredith
Topless Christmas.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55098
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Creed
Tapas swiss miss.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55099
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Creed
Spanish tapas, and swiss miss hot cocoa--What's so hard to understand?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55100
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Dwight
Or, who was it that suggested the authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas? I think it was someone really popular.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55101
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Phyllis
We already said no.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55102
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Angela
No, no, no.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55103
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Nellie
Too weird.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55104
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Dwight
This is me and my family celebrating Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas in 1982 on the farm. There's me and my brother Jeb breaking the ceremonial pig rib. He doesn't come back for Christmas anymore. The sepia tint is from an app on my phone. This is the same photo, matrix style.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55105
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Jim
I'm not understanding the confusion. Am I the only one who wants to try hufflepuffs and schnauzerhosen, and meet this glenpickle guy?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55106
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Angela
Party planning cimmittee, emgergency meeting. Now.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55107
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Pam
I'm on it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55108
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Jim
Right.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55109
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Pete
I'm just hoping German terrorists don't take over this Christmas party. Make me go all John McClane on their asses.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55110
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Erin
Wait, German terrorists? That's oddly specific. And I think--I think you mean John McCain.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55111
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Pete
Die hard reference.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55112
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Erin
I haven't seen it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55113
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Pete
You haven't seen die hard?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55114
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Erin
Mm-Mmm.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55115
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Pete
Why haven't you seen die hard?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55116
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Erin
I don't know, I just haven't.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55117
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Kevin
Come on, you had to have at least seen some of it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55118
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Erin
No.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55119
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Kevin
now, i have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho.'
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55120
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Pete
Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs.'
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55121
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Erin
None of this makes any sense to me!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55122
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Kevin
Oh, yeah, and when he takes the gun off his back, and he's like, 'Yippie-Ki-Yay, mother--'
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55123
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Pete
Actually, he doesn't say that there. He says it earlier when he's on the radio with Hans.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55124
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Kevin
Yes, you are right. Forgive me.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55125
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Pete
Oh, that's okay, bud.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55126
-
Kevin
Nope.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55127
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Pete
Common mistake.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55128
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Kevin
No, it's not.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55129
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Erin
Nerd! Do you know every line of the movie?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55130
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Pete
My brother dared me to memorize it, and I did it, and loved doing it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55131
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Erin
Okay, let's hear it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55132
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Pete
Hear what?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55133
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Erin
Die hard. Every line. Go.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55134
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Pete
You don't like flying, do you?'
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55135
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Erin
Don't change the subject.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55136
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Pete
No, that's the--
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55137
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Erin
Movie is starting.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55138
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Jim
We're thinking of collaborating with Mike Schmidt on some of his charity work.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55139
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Stanley
I love Philly. Dirty town.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55140
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Darryl
Ah-Ha-Ha! Philly! Exciting stuff, man.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55141
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Jim
Whoo!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55142
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Darryl
So you sure you remembered everything for your trip?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55143
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Jim
Yeah, I think so.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55144
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Darryl
Think that through for a sec.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55145
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Darryl
Yeah, Jim's going to philly tomorrow. He said he was gonna take me with him, but that was two months ago. And I haven't heard anything since. I mean, he said that, right?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55146
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Darryl
What else could you possibly be forgetting?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55147
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Jim
Uh--
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55148
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Darryl
Things? People?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55149
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Toby
You know who's not gonna get to work on some exciting new startup this year? George Howard Skub, a.k.a. the alleged Scranton strangler, because he's in prison for something he may not have done.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55150
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Nellie
I'm sorry, the--Uh, the Scranton who?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55151
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Toby
The Scranton strangler. George Howard Skub. Haven't I told you about the jury I was on a couple years ago?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55152
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Nellie
Oh, what happened? I mean, if you can talk about it, obviously. Because if you can't, I mean, I understand.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55153
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Toby
I--I could--I could talk about it.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55154
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Stanley
See you next Christmas.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55155
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Toby
I could, sure. Have a seat. I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55156
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Pam
We're the party planning committee, and we did not get where we are by playing it safe. We got here by being risk takers. And, yeah, Dwight's party is gonna be terrible. Maybe. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's going to be great. And if it's great...I think we all know what that would mean to us.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55157
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Phyllis
Let's do it!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55158
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Pam
Yes! Phyllis!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55159
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Angela
No. I don't want my name attached to this party.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55160
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Pam
What does that even mean? Where would your name appear?
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55161
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Angela
Please just take my name off of everything.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55162
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Oscar
Just take her name off of everything.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55163
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Pam
The party planning committee, minus Angela, has decided that we're all going to do Dwight's Christmas.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55164
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Dwight
Yes! Yeah! Yeah! Okay! Yes! It's a Christmas Miracle! Yeah! Whoo-Hoo!
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55165
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Pam
Dwight, there is one rule that you need to take very seriously.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55166
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Dwight
Uh-huh.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55167
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Pam
And that is...
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55168
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Dwight
Uh, Oh.
Season 9 · Episode 9 · Line 55169