Every line from The Office season 6, episode 6, in script order. First aired October 22, 2009.
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Phyllis
Good luck Michael, I hope you find what you're looking for.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32792
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Oscar
Maybe you're right, who are we to...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32793
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Pam
Shut up Oscar. What is wrong with all of you, he is sleeping with my mother!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32794
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Dwight
I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32795
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Michael
Let's get back to the matter at hand.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32796
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Pam
Whatever, you know, sleep with my mom, sleep with everybody's mom...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32797
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Michael
No, no, no... no, no...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32798
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Ryan
Whoa, that's my mother you're talking about...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32799
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Michael
I don't like the tone here... this is a place of business, you are to listen to others, you are to give others respect, and you are to keep your personal issues out of it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32800
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Pam
Uhh, huh, ho... oooh my God, you are ridiculous!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32801
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Michael
Do not talk to me that way! I am your boss and I may someday be your father, so get out.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32802
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Pam
You are never going to be my father, you get out!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32803
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Michael
I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32804
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Pam
Me too...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32805
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Pam
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32806
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Oscar
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32807
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Angela
Pam, how's your day going?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32808
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Oscar
Pam, just for the record, I think you're overreacting a little bit, your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32809
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Pam
Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32810
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Oscar
My mother's in a wheelchair.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32811
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Pam
Well, he could still... I'm sorry about that... Oh could I just get you to sign this second page.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32812
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Kelly
Ryan, I have to ask you a personal question. Do you think that I should get a Fedora?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32813
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Ryan
Ahh, I don't think so, no...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32814
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Kelly
Well, I think I'd look really hot in one. Where'd you get your fedora?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32815
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Ryan
I'd rather not say.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32816
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Kelly
I think I'm gonna get the same fedora as you.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32817
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Erin
Hi Dwight!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32818
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Dwight
Shh!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32819
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Ryan
...it should go with the persona you already have.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32820
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Kelly
Well, I think I have that persona.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32821
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Dwight
Where did you get that mallard?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32822
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Kelly
What the hell is a mallard?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32823
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Dwight
That!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32824
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Kelly
Oh, Professor Damien D. Duck, Jim gave him to me.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32825
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Dwight
Okay, I gave that to him that as a gift, I'm taking that back.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32826
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Kelly
If you take it back, I'll scream.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32827
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Dwight
I'll give you five bucks for it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32828
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Ryan
Twenty.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32829
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Dwight
Ten.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32830
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Ryan
Deal.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32831
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Kelly
You're so cool.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32832
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Ryan
This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32833
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Michael
Hey Toby, could I talk to you for a minute?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32834
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Toby
Yeah, sure, what's up?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32835
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Michael
Um, I just wanted to apologize for taking that tone with you earlier that was... uncalled for, I'm sorry.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32836
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Toby
Um, yeah, ah, ah, that means a lot. Thank you for saying it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32837
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Michael
Can I sit down for a second?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32838
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Toby
Yeah, er... pull up a chair or sit on the shredder.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32839
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Michael
This is gonna sound weird, but I think I may be the victim of a hostile work environment with this whole Pam situation.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32840
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Toby
Ah, you should probably deal with that outside of the work place.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32841
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Michael
She brought it into the work place so I feel like it has to be dealt with here.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32842
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Toby
Ok, I mean, I could talk to her.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32843
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Michael
Really? Would you do that?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32844
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Toby
Yeah... that's why they pay me the big bucks.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32845
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Michael
You're a good, good guy.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32846
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Toby
I'm good...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32847
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Toby
You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, we'd become friends.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32848
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Toby
Hey Pam, could I talk to you for a sec?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32849
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Pam
Sure, what's up?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32850
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Toby
Well, I was hoping that maybe in light of everything that's happened today, it would be a good idea if today, you, me, and Michael could head into the conference room for some conflict resolution.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32851
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Pam
What's the matter, you can't fight your own battles?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32852
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Michael
No... that's...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32853
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Toby
Maybe you could just take the rest of the day off... you know...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32854
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Pam
Oh, would that make you feel better?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32855
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Michael
I don't... um... I can't hear your conversation.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32856
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Pam
You can tell Michael that I'm not leaving.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32857
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Toby
Buddy, I think that...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32858
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Michael
Yeah, yeah, yeah-okay... you're a jackass. Hey, hey, you know what? You're just as stubborn as your mother, when you don't wanna do something you just don't do it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32859
-
Stanley
Heh, heh, heh.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32860
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Pam
Michael, you're just her rebound!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32861
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Michael
You were right Jim, shoulda listened to you, should never have told her.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32862
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Pam
What! You knew?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32863
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Jim
Barely, I... I don't have all the facts. Frank and Bean...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32864
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Michael
Okay, do you want me to stop seeing your mom? Is that how we're gonna get past this? Cause, I will.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32865
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Pam
Mmmmm, yes!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32866
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Michael
Well, that is not gonna happen!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32867
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Pam
Then why'd you even offer!?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32868
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Michael
Because I assumed that you want me to be happy because I want you to be happy.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32869
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Pam
Michael, let me make this very easy for you, I could give a shit about your happiness! Stop dating my mother!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32870
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Michael
You know what? I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32871
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Pam
What's that supposed to mean?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32872
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Michael
You know what it means.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32873
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Jim
Hey...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32874
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Pam
Shut it!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32875
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Jim
Yep...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32876
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Michael
I don't need to be friends with Pam. I have plenty of female friends. My mom, Pam's mom, my aunt... although she just blocked me on IM, what's her face from Quiznos, I see her four times a week.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32877
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Jim
Dwight, you brought the mallard back.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32878
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Dwight
Well, I had to, I mean... Kelly was not even...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32879
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Jim
Hi buddy.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32880
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Dwight
I'm sorry.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32881
-
Jim
A wooden duck?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32882
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Dwight
Mallard. I put it in your office in order to surveil you. I was jealous that you got the promotion over me.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32883
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Jim
Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this and you are not equipped for espionage...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32884
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Dwight
Oh, I'm equipped... I can...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32885
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Jim
Silence.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32886
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Dwight
Don't tell Michael...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32887
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Jim
I won't. But, you will wash and buff our car.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32888
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Dwight
Punishment fits the crime, I accept.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32889
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Michael
Night everyone. Night Pam, thanks again for the rum.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32890
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Erin
Night Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32891