Every line from The Office season 6, episode 6, in script order. First aired October 22, 2009.
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Pam
Wow, Botticelli's, that sounds like a special occasion.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32692
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Michael
Yeah, no, it's nobody.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32693
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Pam
I don't know. I think Michael has a date.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32694
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Michael
Hmm... no.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32695
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Pam
I think you have a date.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32696
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Michael
I don't.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32697
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Pam
Come on.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32698
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Jim
Uh, I think we should just drop it... 'cause obviously he doesn't want to talk about it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32699
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Michael
I don't deserve this, guys.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32700
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Jim
Yes, you do.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32701
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Michael
No, I don't.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32702
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Jim
Just take the parrot.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32703
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Michael
[long exhale]
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32704
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Jim
Okay, back to the old grind.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32705
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Michael
I was probably going to break up with her anyway.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32706
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Pam
Oh, that's too bad.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32707
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Jim
Don't-
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32708
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Michael
Pam, it is very complicated. There are a lot of moving parts here.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32709
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Jim
Sounds complicated.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32710
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Michael
It is.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32711
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Pam
Yeah, but I mean, if you really like this person, then you should see where it goes.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32712
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Michael
You want me to be happy?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32713
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Pam
Of course.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32714
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Michael
Part of the problem is, she is the mother of a close friend of mine.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32715
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Pam
Oh.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32716
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Michael
More than a friend, a co-worker.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32717
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Pam
Oh! Gossip, who is it? Who is it? Who is it, Michael? ...Who?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32718
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Michael
It's okay.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32719
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Pam
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Nooooo!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32720
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Michael
That could have gone one of two ways, but I never expected her to get upset.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32721
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Pam
[screams out in the parking lot, Michael watches from his office window]
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32722
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Dwight
You seem tense. Hey, you want me to give you the chills?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32723
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32724
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Dwight
There's an egg on your head and the yolk is running down, the yolk is running down...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32725
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Michael
Feels good.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32726
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Dwight
There's a knife in your back and the blood is gushing down...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32727
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Michael
I'm sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes, dinner.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32728
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Dwight
...the blood is gushing down, the blood is gushing down... You know, I really would have appreciated a heads-up that you were into dating mothers. I would have introduced you to mine.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32729
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Pam
How could you do this to me? He's my boss! How many times have I complained about him to you? No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32730
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Jim
Who wants a hot chocolate?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32731
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Pam
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32732
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Jim
Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift, and I found a recording device in it. Yes. So, I think if I played it just right I can get Dwight to play out the plot of National Treasure.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32733
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Pam
You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32734
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Jim
Andy, can I talk to you for a second?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32735
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Andy
Sure thing, Tuna Boss.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32736
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Jim
[holding up a sign that reads, 'Dwight picked the wrong day to put a wooden mallard in my office']
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32737
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Andy
How may I be of service to you?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32738
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Jim
I am gonna need your advice I was thinking about getting this opera for Dwight's birthday, what do you think?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32739
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Andy
This aurea is a joke.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32740
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Jim
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32741
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Andy
What are you thinking?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32742
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Jim
I was gonna go with this one.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32743
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Andy
Let me tell you something, if you respect him at all, you will get him something better.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32744
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Dwight
The Nard Dog... what was that all about?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32745
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Andy
I know, right?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32746
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Dwight
What were you talking about in there?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32747
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Andy
Trust me it would only make you mad.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32748
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Michael
Due to a certain recent incident, corporate has asked all the branches to come up with ideas as to how we can better communicate with our communities.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32749
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Andy
Is this because of the 60 Minutes segment about working conditions in our Peruvian paper mill?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32750
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Michael
That was a hit job. If you read the Dunder Mifflin press release it clearly states that they had absolutely nothing to do with that particular cancer cluster. So if there is a lesson to be learned here and I'm not sure that there is, it is that in order to help our communities, we need to put other people's needs ahead of our own.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32751
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Pam
Haha! Ha ha ha.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32752
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Jim
And whoever comes up with the best idea gets a $50 gift certificate to the restaurant of his or her choice.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32753
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Michael
Who wants to help the world one step at a time? Alright, good.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32754
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Dwight
Volunteerism is important. Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter and they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32755
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Michael
Alright, that's...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32756
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Meredith
Paint a mural of Chicano leaders.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32757
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Michael
Alright...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32758
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Pam
I have a way to make Scranton a better place, you could leave it.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32759
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Michael
Okay, I'm out of here, see you later guys...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32760
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Various
Get out and stay out, bye...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32761
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Michael
Ok, oh no here's an idea... conservation...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32762
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Pam
I love it, conservation. Let's start by conserving our time and stop having these stupid meetings. No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32763
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Michael
Anybody else? Who else has an idea?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32764
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Angela
I have some ideas about conservation...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32765
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Jim
Yes! Angela! Please...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32766
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Michael
Can you hold down the fort? Hey boo!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32767
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Angela
Thank you. Sure well first of all I think that we could totally...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32768
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Michael
What's it... why are you crying?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32769
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Jim
Yes! I think we should look into that. If you could just speak up louder...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32770
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Kevin
Shhhh...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32771
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Angela
Well, for our profit...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32772
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Kevin
Shhh...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32773
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Michael
No, no, no, I'll talk to her. I will... No... nobody talks to my baby that way... uh ah... yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. Alright, by pickle.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32774
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Kevin
Who's pickle?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32775
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Michael
Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32776
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Angela
I'm sorry, I was told I had the floor.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32777
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Jim
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32778
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Oscar
Hold on, hold on, what's going on?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32779
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Jim
Nothing... nothing at all... it's all good!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32780
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Pam
I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes me an apology.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32781
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Michael
For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32782
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Pam
Don't call my mother your lover.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32783
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Kevin
Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32784
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Andy
That is not okay dude.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32785
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Michael
Alright, in my defense...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32786
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Phyllis
Disgusting...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32787
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Creed
She's messed up man...
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32788
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Pam
Yes! Thank you, welcome to my personal hell!
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32789
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Oscar
You have no sense of boundaries Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32790
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Michael
Shut up Oscar. Hey, alright, you know what, clearly I'm outnumbered here, but can I just say one thing, please? What is so wrong about me? I'm caring, I'm generous, I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness.
Season 6 · Episode 6 · Line 32791