Every quote from The Office season 5, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 30, 2008.
-
Pam
Miles Davis.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24270
-
Jim
One.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24271
-
Pam
Chet ...something.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24272
-
Jim
Half.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24273
-
Pete
The point is Pam, is there are jobs-
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24274
-
Pam
Dizzy Gillespie.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24275
-
Jim
Also good.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24276
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Pete
And there are hobbies. I love baseball more than anything, but you don't see me try to get on the Mets.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24277
-
Tom
You don't!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24278
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Jim
Pete couldn't make the Mets. She's at Pratt. You played JV baseball. Will you lighten up a little bit?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24279
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Pete
I'm just calling it like I see it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24280
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Pam
I don't know if I'm gonna make any money with art.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24281
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Jim
Pam, don't worry about it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24282
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Pam
I mean it's a very competitive field. But I have a professor who says I have a lot of promise, and if I don't try now, I never will. So...
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24283
-
Jim
Guys, what is going on?!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24284
-
Tom
We pranked you!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24285
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Pete
It was Pam's idea. Pam was the mastermind.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24286
-
Pam
... Got you.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24287
-
Pete
That was killer. I was so close to blowing it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24288
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Andy
Let's see how well you know your Big Red history.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24289
-
Dwight
Bring it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24290
-
Andy
Who was Cornell's eighth president?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24291
-
Dwight
Dale Raymond Corson!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24292
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Andy
Mm, I'm sorry that's incorrect. Cornell's seventh president was in fact, James A. Perkins. Comprehension skills, sub-par.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24293
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Dwight
Hmm, interviewing skills, sub-par.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24294
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Andy
What are you writing? Can't even give Cornell your full attention?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24295
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Dwight
On the contrary, I'm helping Cornell. By evaluating their interviewers.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24296
-
Andy
Nobody wants ...that, to happen.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24297
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Dwight
Well, when they get my evaluation we'll see if they're interested.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24298
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Andy
Applicant is attempting to blackmail interviewer, showing low moral character.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24299
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Dwight
Interviewer is threatening applicant with an arbitrary review process.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24300
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Andy
Applicant is wasting everyone's time with stupid and inane accusations.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24301
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Dwight
Interviewer has suspect motives.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24302
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Andy
Applicant has a head shaped like a trapezoid.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24303
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Dwight
Interviewer has turned off applicant's interest in Cornell, and they are going to go to the vastly superior Dartmouth.' Ever heard of it? I think I have everything I need.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24304
-
Andy
I have everything I need-
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24305
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Dwight
And you will be hearing from the -
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24306
-
Andy
And you will be hearing from -
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24307
-
Dwight
-Cornell Application Department,
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24308
-
Andy
which I will not be a part of-
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24309
-
Dwight
And you will not be pleased with the result.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24310
-
Andy
And YOU will not be pleased with the result!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24311
-
Dwight
And your affiliation with Cornell -
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24312
-
Andy
And your affiliation with Cornell -
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24313
-
Dwight
Will end completely!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24314
-
Andy
Will end completely!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24315
-
Dwight
That is all sir, you may go.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24316
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Darryl
There's another dolly in the truck, Mike. You could take more than that lamp.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24317
-
Pam
For the record, I wanted go another direction. Which was way better.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24318
-
Jim
Well, I'll be the judge of that. What do you got?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24319
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Pam
Okay. I lost my engagement ring in ceramics class. Left it in my smock. I had this whole thing where I go back to class, wrongly accuse another girl. Look I even used makeup to put a ring around my finger, you can hardly see it, it's very subtle.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24320
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Jim
That is good.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24321
-
Pam
Thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24322
-
Jim
Truthfully anything would have been better than that prank. Oh, text message from my brother. 'Pam cool. Welcome to the family.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24323
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Pam
Oh. Hey how about at Thanksgiving we prank Tom about being bald?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24324
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Darryl
This is the last of it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24325
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Michael
Oh that's mine actually. Um, maybe put it back in the truck.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24326
-
Darryl
You're not staying?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24327
-
Michael
You know I have some things I need to do this weekend. I just remembered, so, I'll just ride back with you.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24328
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Darryl
But you want me to put it back in the truck.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24329
-
Michael
I'll be down in just a second. Holly?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24330
-
Michael
So um... I think I'm gonna go back with Darryl Okay. Goodbye.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24331
-
Holly
Okay. Bye.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24332
-
Darryl
I know it's hard Mike. Break-ups hurt.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24333
-
Michael
We didn't break up.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24334
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Darryl
Looked like it. Sometimes when I'm down like this, it helps to sing the blues.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24335
-
Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24336
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Darryl
Da na na na na... da na na na na...
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24337
-
Michael
That's a really pretty song.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24338
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Darryl
Da na na na na. No, no, check it out, look. Da na na na na... want to do that?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24339
-
Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24340
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Darryl
That's when you hit me with what's getting you down, okay?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24341
-
Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24342
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Darryl
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24343
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Michael
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24344
-
Darryl
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24345
-
Michael
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24346
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Darryl
No, wait. You're, you're supposed to... Never mind. Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24347
-
Michael
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24348
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Darryl
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24349
-
Michael
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24350
-
Darryl
Da na na na na!!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24351
-
Michael
Da na na na na!!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24352
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Darryl
Da na na na na .
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24353
-
Michael
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24354
-
Darryl
Yeah! Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24355
-
Michael
Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24356
-
Darryl
YEAH! Da na na na na.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24357
-
Michael
Da na na na na...
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24358
-
Andy
I thought I'd come in casual today. Man, I'm hungry. Anyone else feel like a beet?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24359
-
Dwight
Where did you get those?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24360
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Andy
What, these? Bernard Farms. Best beets in the state.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24361
-
Dwight
I see what you are doing. But I do not know where you are going with this.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24362
-
Andy
Well you will. Soon as you visit, my new beet farm. You're supposed to cook these, aren't you?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24363
-
Dwight
Cornell.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24364
-
Oscar
We'll miss you.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24365
-
Holly
Well, I'll be around.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24366
-
Oscar
Isn't it a seven-hour drive?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24367
-
Holly
It's not that bad. But if I'm really jonesing to see you guys, I can always fly.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24368
-
Oscar
I don't know if it'll be shorter to fly. You have to drive to Boston, right? That's an hour and a half. Get there an hour before the flight. Now you're up two and a half hours. The flight to Philadelphia is an hour fifteen. It's another two and a half hour drive to Scranton, assuming there's no traffic, because....
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24369