Every quote from The Office season 5, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 30, 2008.
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Kelly
Wow you guys look amazing. Stanley, I thought you hated Halloween.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24070
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Phyllis
Shh. He wears that so he can sleep at his desk. Who are you?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24071
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Kelly
Oh, I'm Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And The City.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24072
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Phyllis
Mm. I like your shoes.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24073
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Kelly
Thank you. Will you help walk me to the fax machine?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24074
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Phyllis
Sure.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24075
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Ryan
I got her, I got her. I can help you. You look amazing.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24076
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Kelly
Inappropriate. Thank you. Who are you, Larry King?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24077
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Ryan
Gordon Gekko.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24078
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Kelly
Oh, from the insurance commercials!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24079
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Ryan
... Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24080
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Oscar
Whoa. Awesome.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24081
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Creed
Let's put a smile on that face!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24082
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Kevin
Dammit Creed! I've been up since four!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24083
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Andy
Meow. Sweet 'stume, dude. Who are you supposed to be?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24084
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Jim
Dave.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24085
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Andy
Cool.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24086
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Jim
You are? A cat?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24087
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Andy
We were looking for 'kitten.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24088
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Jim
Oh, hang on one second. Jim Halpert.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24089
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Pam
Hey.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24090
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Jim
Hey New York, Happy Halloween!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24091
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Pam
Thanks. My costume's getting a lot of attention.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24092
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Pam
So apparently no one dresses up for Halloween here. I wish I had known that before I used greasepaint for my moustache. And I can't even take off my hat, because then I'm Hitler.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24093
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Dwight
Hm mm mm mm. Want to see a magic trick? Heh heh heh! I'm gonna make a pencil disapp-- oh! Disappear.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24094
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Michael
Okay, I think we are set. We have puzzles, string for Cat's Cradles. Burned this last night. A little road trip CD. Puppets.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24095
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Holly
Oh, look at all this stuff! It's only seven hours.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24096
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Michael
When Corporate found out that we were dating, they decided they were going to transfer Holly back to her old branch, in Nashua, New Hampshire.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24097
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Holly
Michael is taking a personal day to move me up.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24098
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Michael
Road trip! Right?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24099
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Holly
Breaker one-nine, copy?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24100
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Michael
Oh, copy that breaker. Those Duke boys are at it again.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24101
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Darryl
Hey! Do Not Touch My Radio.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24102
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Michael
We're not.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24103
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Holly
Kidding.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24104
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Michael
We're not doing anything.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24105
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Holly
It's been a weird week since we found out I had to transfer. Michael wanted me to quit and get some job here in Scranton, and I said 'Well, why don't you quit and get some job in Nashua?' And he said 'I asked you first.' And I said 'First!' at the same time he did. And then I said 'Jinx.' And then we never talked about it again and haven't been back to the conversation. So...
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24106
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Michael
All right everybody. I'm out of here. Jim, you're in charge.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24107
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Jim
Oh, I'll walk you out.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24108
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Michael
Ah, you are quite the gentleman.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24109
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Michael
You can let people go a couple of minutes early if you want.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24110
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Jim
All right. We'll see. No.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24111
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Jim
I am off to New York. My brother Pete from Boston, and my brother Tom from New Jersey are taking Pam and I out for lunch, to celebrate the engagement. Or maybe to beat me up. I can never tell with those two.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24112
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Dwight
Good morning temp.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24113
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Ryan
Morning. Wow. Good morning Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24114
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Dwight
Thought I'd go casual today. Morning everyone. Good morning. Hello. How are you Phyllis?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24115
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Andy
Ha ha ha. That's funny. Take that sweatshirt off! Hey buddy.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24116
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Dwight
Andy.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24117
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Andy
Remember when I jokingly yelled at you to take your sweatshirt off? Totally joking. But, you should know, those colors are sacred. Not that I care. But if you're not a Cornell man, you probably shouldn't wear them.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24118
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Dwight
No I get it. I totally understand. And uh, I just want to assure you, that I mean no disrespect. You see, I'm applying!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24119
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Andy
Come on, you think you can get into Cornell?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24120
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Dwight
Well if somebody who barely out-sells Phyllis, can get in, I should be fine.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24121
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Phyllis
I'm sitting right here Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24122
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Dwight
I meant that as a compliment to you Phyllis, as well as a slight to Andy.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24123
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Dwight
Cornell is a good school, and I want to better myself through higher education. If it makes Andy angry, so be it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24124
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Holly
I have to unpack this weekend but maybe next weekend we go to the outlets!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24125
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Michael
Cool!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24126
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Darryl
Mike you'll drive this every weekend?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24127
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Michael
We're gonna switch back and forth, the driving. Sometimes we'll just meet in the middle. It'll be fun. Wait a sec. Oh I love this song.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24128
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Michael and Holly
Life is a highway, I want to ride it all night long.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24129
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Michael, Holly, and Darryl
If you're going my way, I wanna drive you all night long! If you're going my way...
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24130
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Dwight
Hey there. So uh, how do you think we're gonna do against Penn this year? Nathan Ford's arm looks pretty strong.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24131
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Andy
Well he's had a pretty good season so far--- Stop saying 'we.' You did not go to Cornell. Okay, you're just doing this to screw with me.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24132
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Dwight
Not so. Cornell is an excellent school. Without its agricultural program, we probably wouldn't have cabbage. At least not modern cabbage.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24133
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Andy
I know it's an excellent school, Dwight. I went there. My blood runs Big Red.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24134
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Dwight
Someday, we'll both get together in Comstock Hall and just laugh about all of this.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24135
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Pam
Hey!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24136
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Tom
Hey, future baby sis!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24137
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Pam
How are you Tom. Nice to see you.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24138
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Tom
I'm good.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24139
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Pam
I asked Tom and Pete to come early so we could play a prank on Jim at lunch! Pretty awesome, right? I think they're into the idea. They're probably thinking, 'That Pam Beasly, she's the coolest sister-in-law on the planet. She's the best! The absolute best.'
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24140
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Pam
Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. I'm gonna say that before ceramics class, I took off my ring, and then when I changed back out of my smock, it wasn't in my pocket anymore, and I lost it.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24141
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Pete
That's perfect. You know what would be even more hilarious? Remember that thing we did when Jim was in high school with his girlfriend?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24142
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Tom
Right! That would be hilarious! We should totally dog her, about being an artist, never making any money!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24143
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Pete
That, is awesome!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24144
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Tom
Like she basically has a hobby, for a job.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24145
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Pete
Oh yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24146
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Pam
So, not the ring then? The- the- Not doing the ring?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24147
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Pete
I think this is better.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24148
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Tom
The other thing would 'get' Jim.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24149
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Pete
This is nicer, it's fun. It's fun!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24150
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Pam
Okay, okay.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24151
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Tom
Oh, he hates it when we pick on his girlfriends.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24152
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Pam
Oookay....
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24153
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Pam
They came up with that idea really fast.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24154
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Darryl
This trip was longer than I thought.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24155
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Holly
Yeah it did look shorter on the map-
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24156
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Michael
Ah! Ah! Ahhhh! Hey. Whew. Ow. I was having a nightmare.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24157
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Holly
You were sleeping? You were talking before.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24158
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Michael
Was I? Really? Was I saying anything interesting?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24159
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Darryl
Not really.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24160
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Michael
All right. What's the scoop, how far?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24161
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Darryl
Four hours. Almost halfway there.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24162
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Holly
We're only halfway?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24163
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Michael
Halfway! Okay, You know what I want to do, I want to pull over and find little bed and breakfast for when we meet in the middle. Emphasis on the bed. And the breakfast.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24164
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Darryl
Next exit isn't for five miles.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24165
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Holly
Let's check there.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24166
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Pam
Hey guys.
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24167
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Jim
Hey, how are you?
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24168
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Pam
Hi!
Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24169