Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 4, in script order. First aired October 18, 2007.
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Pam
Irrigation.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18844
-
Jim
Nice.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18845
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Dwight
I'll put you down for Irrigation. Well then, do you have any special needs or diertary restrictions?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18846
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Jim
Yes. We will be requiring a bed time story.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18847
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Dwight
No.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18848
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Jim
Not even Harry Potter?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18849
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Dwight
No. Jim, come on.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18850
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Mose
But you promised.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18851
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Dwight
Mose, bags! Now!
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18852
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Dwight
Here we are, the Irrigation Room! A very special room. So I'll come get you before the table-making demonstration. And as of this morning, we are completely wireless here in Schrute Farms. But as soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll get that power back on. All righty.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18853
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Nick
Everybody in the conference room. In 5 minutes.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18854
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Michael
These meetings are useless.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18855
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Nick
I just want to remind you to stick to the script. Improving the work. So, make the call, say the lines, make the sale. Got it?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18856
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Michael
Very inspirational.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18857
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Nick
We're offering a $50 bonus tonight to the guy with the most sales. Ok.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18858
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Co-Worker 1
Or a woman.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18859
-
Michael
Or a trained seal.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18860
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Nick
You could make jokes when you've made a sale there rookie, ok?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18861
-
Jim
Hmmm, I'd say 1 in 6.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18862
-
Pam
What?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18863
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Jim
Oh, I thought you asked me what our chances were in being murdered here tonight.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18864
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Jim
You know, I've just realized, this is Pam's and my first night away together. I use to play it over my head, and it was just a little bit different. Maybe a uh, nice hotel. Or a romantic dinner. Wine... uh but, wine that wasn't made out of beets. Didn't think Dwight would be involved at all. And uh, I always imagined less manure. I mean, some manure, just... less.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18865
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Dwight
Mose, what are you doing? No Mose! Put the--- Put the manure down! Put it down! Do not throw it! DO NOT THROW IT! Ow!
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18866
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Michael
Yes, is Mr. Hudson there?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18867
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Stanley
Yes, who is this?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18868
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Michael
I'm just calling because you responded positively to the---
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18869
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Stanley
Michael?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18870
-
Michael
...Stanley?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18871
-
Stanley
Why are you calling me here at home?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18872
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Michael
Senor, are you happy with your---
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18873
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Stanley
Michael, I know that's you. Why are you calling me here at home?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18874
-
Michael
Have you--- Have you considered satellite television?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18875
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Stanley
Michael, I know that's you. I know your voice. Why are you calling me here at home?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18876
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Stanley
When I'm at home at night in my own house in my sweats drinking some red wine watching my mystery stories, the last thing in the whole God forsaken world I want to hear is the voice of Michael Scott.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18877
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Michael
Well your son sounds like he's really motivated. I think it's crazy the coach won't play him frankly.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18878
-
Nick
My office.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18879
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Michael
You bet.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18880
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Nick
Just dial the number on the sheet and stick to the script. Say those words exactly, got it? I don't know why we have to keep on having this conversation.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18881
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Michael
Look, I know sales, and I had that sale, I just needed a few more minutes---
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18882
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Nick
A few more minutes is a waste of our time.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18883
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Michael
It is not a waste of our time.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18884
-
Nick
This is a trading game.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18885
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Michael
No.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18886
-
Nick
You give a quick pitch. You make the sale. You move on. That's how Vikram does it.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18887
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Michael
Vikram doesn't have my people skills.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18888
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Nick
Good for Vikram, because he out-sells you every night.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18889
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Michael
Well, I hope this conversation has helped.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18890
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Dwight
And Harry saw the white hand raise its wand, and felt Voldemort's surge of vicious anger. Saw the frail old man on the floor write in agony. 'Harry?' It was over quickly as it had come. Harry stood shaking in the darkness, clutching the gate in the garden, his heart racing.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18891
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Michael
What did you get tonight?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18892
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Vikram
Oh it looks like mixed masala, eggplant, and rice.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18893
-
Michael
Oh, that looks good.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18894
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Vikram
Oh, and what about you? Peanut butter flavor again?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18895
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Michael
I am going with the vanilla crisp this evening.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18896
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Vikram
Enjoy.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18897
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Michael
Thank you.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18898
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Vikram
I was a surgeon back home.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18899
-
Michael
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18900
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Vikram
Oh yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18901
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Michael
Wonder what I would've been back home?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18902
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Vikram
Well this is your home.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18903
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Michael
I know, but it's competitive here. What's a dollar worth in your land? Medical school must cost like 40 bucks or a donkey or something.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18904
-
Vikram
Uhh, no.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18905
-
Michael
I would've been chief of surgery... Or a cowboy.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18906
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Jim
Wait, you're going up there?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18907
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Pam
Yeah. Coward.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18908
-
Pam
Oh my God. What century is this?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18909
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Michael
You know what, here's the thing about Die Hard 4. Die Hard one, the original, John McClane was just this normal guy. You know, he's just a normal New York City cop, who gets his feet cut, and gets beat up. But he's an everyday guy. In Die Hard 4, he is jumping a motorcycle into a helicopter. In air. You know? He's invincible. It just sort of lost what Die Hard was. It's not Terminator.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18910
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Co-Worker 2
Dude, you should review movies.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18911
-
Michael
I actually wrote a movie.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18912
-
Co-Worker 3
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18913
-
Michael
I'm writing one, yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18914
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Co-Worker 3
What's it about?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18915
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Michael
Um, sort of a spy, thriller...
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18916
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Nick
What's so captivating? I like captivating things. And this must be really captivating because it's keeping you off the phones. I mean time is your money, that's how I know how captivating it is. Because how much time you spend talking.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18917
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Pam
Ugh, your turn.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18918
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Dwight
Come in. Did you have another nightmare?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18919
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Jim
Hey Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18920
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Dwight
Oh, Jim. I thought you were Mose.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18921
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Jim
Does Mose have nightmares?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18922
-
Jim
Oh yes. Ever since the storm.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18923
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Dwight
Is everything satisfactory with your stay?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18924
-
Jim
Yeah, yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18925
-
Dwight
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18926
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Jim
Just thought that I heard crying, moaning, or something in here.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18927
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Dwight
Oh. Well I'll look into that in the morning. Thank you for bringing that to the attention of the staff.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18928
-
Jim
Good night, Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18929
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Co-Worker 2
Yeah, so we're all gonna go out for a beer. Do you wanna come?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18930
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Co-Worker 3
We'd love for you to come, Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18931
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Michael
Thanks, no, I have work tomorrow morning.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18932
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Co-Worker 2
All right, next time dude.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18933
-
Michael
Okay, see you guys. Hey, how you doin'?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18934
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Jan
You drive, I had too much wine.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18935
-
Michael
Okay. How's yoga?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18936
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Jan
I didn't go.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18937
-
Michael
Wh-Why not?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18938
-
Jan
I just didn't!
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18939
-
Michael
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18940
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Jan
How was improv?
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18941
-
Michael
Good night Vikram.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18942
-
Vikram
Good night.
Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18943