Every line from The Office season 3, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 5, 2006.
-
Michael
...you were at the dentist?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10097
-
Jan
You can't have people undermining you. Get control of your branch immediately.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10098
-
Michael
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10099
-
Michael
What was Dwight thinking? That he could turn Jan against me? She's my ex-lover! ...ish.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10100
-
Phyllis
Woooooow.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10101
-
Kelly
It's
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10102
-
Phyllis
It's really something.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10103
-
Pam
It's too much.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10104
-
Kelly
What?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10105
-
Pam
I'm gonna return it.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10106
-
Kelly
No, you have to keep it today, just see how you feel.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10107
-
Roy
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10108
-
Pam
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10109
-
Roy
You look nice.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10110
-
Pam
Thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10111
-
Kelly
Isn't that like your third soda today?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10112
-
Jim
Yeah I think we can be a big help to your company. Ok, see you next week. Bye. Again?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10113
-
Karen
Scared?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10114
-
Karen
Call of Duty!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10115
-
Josh
Andy, Jim, can I see you in the conference room for a minute?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10116
-
Andy
Now?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10117
-
Josh
Yes now.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10118
-
Andy
Put the game on hold everyone.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10119
-
Josh
This is not working, ok? We are getting slaughtered out there.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10120
-
Andy
It's the new guy.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10121
-
Jim
Oh, I'm sorry I don't know... what we're talking about...
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10122
-
Andy
See what I mean?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10123
-
Josh
We just need a strategy, ok? We're going to set up a trap in the gun room. All right Jim, are you using the MP-40 or the 44?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10124
-
Jim
Um, sniper rifle?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10125
-
Josh
SNIPE--
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10126
-
Andy
WHAT?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10127
-
Josh
JIM!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10128
-
Andy
Are you playing for the other team?!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10129
-
Josh
You don't snipe in Carrington, ok?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10130
-
Andy
Saboteur!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10131
-
Josh
Andy, it's not---
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10132
-
Andy
Saboteur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game--- the game is over. I'm really going to shoot you.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10133
-
Michael
Hey Dwight.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10134
-
Dwight
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10135
-
Michael
Do you want an M&M?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10136
-
Dwight
No thanks I'm stuffed.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10137
-
Michael
No seriously. You should have an M&M, they're really good.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10138
-
Dwight
...ok.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10139
-
Michael
They're good, huh?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10140
-
Dwight
...so good.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10141
-
Michael
Hey. I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put in.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10142
-
Dwight
They have this new kind of quick drying bonding, so...
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10143
-
Michael
Sounds like a good dentist.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10144
-
Dwight
Oh, yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10145
-
Michael
What's his name?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10146
-
Dwight
Crentist.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10147
-
Michael
Your dentist's name is Crentist.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10148
-
Dwight
Yep.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10149
-
Michael
Huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10150
-
Dwight
Maybe that's why he became a dentist.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10151
-
Michael
Let me see your teeth. Let me see 'em. Let me see 'em.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10152
-
Dwight
Ahh. Aaaah.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10153
-
Michael
You should... floss.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10154
-
Dwight
I know...
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10155
-
Michael
Well then... I am glad you're ok.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10156
-
Michael
Business is like a jungle. And I... am like a tiger. And Dwight, is like a monkey, that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10157
-
Michael
Dwight, can I talk to you for a second?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10158
-
Michael
Wow, this is tough.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10159
-
Dwight
What?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10160
-
Michael
Ohhhh. Arrrgggh!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10161
-
Dwight
What is it?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10162
-
Michael
Well, I just got off the phone with Jan. And um... she demoted me.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10163
-
Dwight
No.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10164
-
Michael
Yeah. You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10165
-
Dwight
Gahh!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10166
-
Michael
And she said that you should be expecting a call later from corporate, and that um, I guess that means that you are going to be acting manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10167
-
Dwight
I can't believe this news. That--- wow.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10168
-
Michael
I know. I told her I didn't know whether you'd wanna do it... because you've always been so loyal to me. You've been my most trusted ally.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10169
-
Dwight
You said that?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10170
-
Michael
Yep, I did. I did. But I think... you should do it.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10171
-
Dwight
Well... Gosh, if you think I should. Then I will.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10172
-
Michael
Perfect, well, we're settled.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10173
-
Dwight
All right.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10174
-
Michael
All right. Well then, you are now acting manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch, and I... am assistant regional manager.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10175
-
Dwight
Assistant to the regional manager. Thank you Michael, for staying on. I really appreciate it.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10176
-
Michael
Ohh..
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10177
-
Dwight
Hey... I can't imagine this place without you.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10178
-
Michael
Can't you? That's so nice.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10179
-
Michael
Well... I guess we should go tell the troops.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10180
-
Dwight
Yeah, when I'm ready, Mike. Ok let's do it.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10181
-
Michael
Hey, hi, hello. Everybody, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. I... am being replaced, as your leader, by Dwight.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10182
-
Phyllis
You're kidding...
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10183
-
Michael
You might think that I am kidding, and I understand that.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10184
-
Angela
Congratulations Dwight.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10185
-
Dwight
Thank you Angela.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10186
-
Stanley
But... why Dwight?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10187
-
Michael
Because, Dwight... never lies.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10188
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Stanley
How does that qualify him to run a branch?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10189
-
Michael
Because that's all it takes.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10190
-
Michael
Ok, Dwight, would you like to say a few words to everybody... about loyalty?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10191
-
Dwight
Thank you Michael. I just want to say, to the few of you who will remain under my employ, that I intend to lead you into the black! With ferocity!
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10192
-
Phyllis
Michael, what will you do?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10193
-
Michael
Oh, I'll be fine.
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10194
-
Kevin
Do you have any savings?
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10195
-
Michael
No, no, I don't, but---
Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10196